Suicide Room

I just watched this movie. I wonder if it´s popular, I guess it must be, the trailer has scenes of kisses between two girls and another between two boys and there are so many videos with that part only. The tittle says a lot, but I thought Dominik, the main character, and Aleks, the guy that he kissed on a bet, were going to be bullied together or something like that but I was wrong, ironically it all was about Dominik.

It was ironic because he was pretty much invisible there, always, even in the bet, he was just put there to be the one kissed by the other guy. He was so alone, with workaholic parents that even when they saw things were going bad for him they refused to see there was a problem there that needed to be addressed, they care about their meetings and reputation...

I think the internet played a huge role in the movie too... I think many people have gone addict to the internet -I know I've spent a lot of time on line- and the down side of the internet is that as it can be in a way comforting -you can say what you want without being judged because no one knows you and you don´t care what they say- it can be very destructive, that happened to this guy, in one video he was "hot" in the next he was the one to laugh at, but it can be good too, it connects people in some way at least -which it did for this kid too- ofc that this "connections" can consume people as well. I never thought it was possible to make friendship or any kind of bond through the internet to someone you have never met or even see and I guess for someone who hasn´t lived it that part of the movie would seem stupid... I think like everything, balance is the key.

I got a headache due to the movie, but by no means that means that the movie is bad but I didn´t enjoy it either, it was too intense, how the girl Dominik met online wanted to kill herself and how he became tangled in her ways, she wanted to die so bad and he tried to convince her to stay but she couldn´t find meaning I guess, even with how they seem to get along. He didn´t want to die, he said that you should give all that you can give to your loved ones but I guess, in the end everything else became too overwhelming, his depression made him forget what he felt, what was real and what was not... a very sad thing is that his parents never saw him, even with all that, they just wanted him to go according to schedules and according to plans.

There were many comments about the movie, many said that this person was a coward or just plain stupid for commiting suicide for a kiss but I feel compasion for this person, that is fictional but I´m sure there are so many out there, feeling lonely and invisible and maybe even depressed. "I want to hug you" said the girl Dominik met online, it only made me think of all the times I´ve "hugged" and been "hugged" on line, at the beginning it was so weird, the it was just an expression and now, sometimes, it´s like it is real, the thought is...

so...

if there are any Dominiks out there that happen to read this, I want to hug you no matter if you think life is a gift or if like is shit. One day at a time as some other fictional Dominic said.

I want to see you

For some reason this song reminded me of back when I and my brother were little... We were at church, I remember this song, just a part of it that they taught us in Englihs "yes, Jesus loves me, yes, Jesus loves me.." I can´t remember the rest. I remember us playing that we could speak another language, I don´t know why we played that, it was all gibberish and now when our parents remember they laugh at our silly games. I´m glad we ended up learning... I remember when I was little I used to think I wanted to go to many places to share God's word to all those that didn´t know him. I haven´t done any of that... I wonder if I should feel guilty about it. Back then I remember praying to God so that people saw him in me, I wish and pray that I´m doing that one at least, showing tolerance, compassion, empathy and support.

Valentine's Day

These chocolates seem nice but I must say I don´t like chocolate

I´ve drawn and cut papers in heart shape today for the whole life. I had to decorate for valentine´s and I´ve never cut or drawn heart shapes or even mind about it.
Back in highschool me and my bff at that stage of my life used to say that we were going to get a guy to give us presents for that day and then dump him right after... yeah, heartless but it was only because we liked to mock of the crazy romanticism of that day.

I´ve never had a "valentine" and I´ve been ok with that.

My brother´s just come today with a shell, the box of his wedding rings is a shell shaped box. It´s such a beautiful velvet box. The rings were beautiful and what he engraved in them is beautiful as well. In a while he´ll be going to his fiancé house with serenade for her to celebrate this valentines...that´s so close to their wedding day. It´s so hectic for him but he seems so excited, happy and looking forward to please his soon to be wife.

I´ve never had a "valentine" and I´ve just started to think about that.

I read a card my other bff once made for me to celebrate our friendship -we were still highschoolers- and I decided to e-mail my friend to express how much our friendship means to me. It seems that as we grow older, we loose that innocence in which friendship is crucial. Gladly she answered me back. Non of my other friends made any mention to this day. I don´t mind really but it makes me wonder when did we loose that innocence in which we celebrated those little things that are so big, one of them being friendship.

I´ve never had a "valentine" and I´ve been wondering what´s it like

Everyday friendship and love should be celebrated. Everybody says that. No body remembers. But what happens when those invisible things are not even celebrated on the day that every business and company advertises products for people to consume? Is it just business?

I´ve never had a "valentine" and I´ve never really thought about it.

I saw a boy today, he was carrying two pink roses. It was very early in the morning. I asked him who were the roses for... A couple of hours later I saw him comming back with the flowers, almost running to go and hide them. The girl hadn´t accepted them.

I´ve never had a "valentine" and somehow I was glad about it.

My mind has drifted for little bits. It´s gone away to dream, to fantasize about today about that martir who died close to this date for whom today´s called valentine´s day. I wonder why, though. Maybe the mass media has gotten to me, after all I´ve been shoot by their advertisements for years.

I´ve never had a "valentine" and as one of my dear friends said to me once: happy chocolates and spending-money-on-some-gift day.

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PD: This is my 300th post! yay! but not techinically since it´s my 300th post if I count the drafts which are 50 so far, all of those belong to one label but I´m not really to publish them just yet but I´ve been thinking on making some special post for the official -meaning published- post. -or maybe not- idk haha
PD2: -if that exists- I really liked this poem, it´s very irreverent but nice, it kinda inspired me for this post so I must include it here too 

Talented

I love piano and violin music, also the sound of the chello haha well I like those types of music and I wish I could do it... gladly I can still enjoy it and admire those who can do it. While listening to Pride and Prejudice soundtracks I found this video:
Too bad she only has like three videos showing her talent but still, it´s so beautiful.

Motivational speaker

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RC-4DP_cYc&feature=uploademail wow 
 I  love this man -not really-what I mean is that he is indeed so motivational, he has a gift... I dont know how he does it but he does it. Im glad that he´s a motivational speaker and motivate me at least a little to "keep swinwing..." I think I´d like to b in one of his speaches someday though that´s unlikely....
He and chicken soup for the soul are the only motivational stuff/books/ppl that has gotten to me hahaha often I dont like it hahaha