The brief space in which you´re not around

I´ve known this song for a long long time. But just today, as I heard it, it made me think of Nichole.

Let me see if I can make any justice to the lyrics -it´s in Spanish

*
There are still remains of humidity
her smell fills my loneliness
on the bed her silhoutte´s like a promise
of filling the brief space in which she´s not around
I still don´t know if she´ll be back
nobody knows what she´ll do tomorrow
she breaks all stereotypes, she doesn´t let anyone in
she never ask anything for what she gives
she´s often violent and cute
she never speaks of forevers
but she gives herself as if there´s one single day to love
she doesn´t like company
but she loves thought-provocking songs
I haven´t asked "are you stying?" yet
I´m afraid her answer will be negative
I prefer to share her instead of emptying my life of her
she´s not perfect
but she´s the closest to what I´ve dreamed of
*

Lead me not into temptation

Remind me, God, to never utter an "I do"

Lead me not into temptation

of having my head in the clouds

the falling´s so easy 

but the bottom´s so hard

Deliver me from evil

the evils that feel so tender and sweet

that then come back to bite your heart out of your chest

to spit it on the ground for everybody to walk over it 

free my heart of pain

You holy, pray for me and my random heart

so that it´s death hour doesn´t fall upon it just now

and you gods don´t rejoice on the weak´s mind

have you ever felt a heaven like that?

However once is enough

two´s to fed up by it

gluttony is you sin, oh heart,

don´t you see, 

the same path leads to the same cliff?

Double Life: The forest is with you

A/N: I did say this was going to be later than the other two but here it is! btw, this was what I was doing when Nic volunteered to be the first character ever to talk and to make a poem-like post from her perspective. I´ve been wanting to write this one for a while and I think it turned out ok. 

Happy Birthday, Saku!!! <3

***

“How long have you been here?” his voice hoarse with sleep

“Just a little while… You can go back to sleep” her voice was calm but there was a hint of humor in it

“No! I wanted to be the first!” he said still a little sleepy, she stared at him, he noticed the gift bag next to her bed “seems like I won´t be” he looked back at her

“You are… well, more like you will be…” she chuckled as she sat on her bed with crossed legs

“What about that?” he pointed at the gift bag

“Natasha and one of her gifts, remember what happened with the last one…? Hers is… just… I don´t know, not real”

“Alright –he got out of the bed and taking his backpack he sad on her bed- you´ll have to excuse the wrinkled bag –he opened the zipper of his backpack as he spoke- but I had to fit it in here” he took out a large purple gift bag. She smiled with the corner of her mouth. Out of the gift bag he took out a small box, he opened it, it was a cupcake, and he put a candle in the middle of it and lit it. His eyes seemed to smile as her eyes became warm. He started to sing the happy birthday as he held the cupcake in front of her.

“Make a wish, Nichole” he grinned as he finished, she stared at him with a small smile and then blew the candle, his smile grew. He took off the candle and gave her the cupcake, she too it and broke it in tow pieces

“Thank you” she gave him one of the pieces.

“There´s a few things in this bag –he said- so, just reach in it and no peeking!” he said, she smiled a little shaking her bowed head and proceeded to put in her hand, she felt many boxes, she picked the first she touched and took it out, it was  a small silver box with a purple bow, she opened it, there was a little triangular white object, she took it out and observed it.

“That was my very first guitar pick, I was around ten, it´s sort of my lucky charm” he chuckled to himself “Happy birthday!”

“Thanks” she smiled and enclosed it in her hand

“Pick another” he said, she reached in, this time it was a bigger rectangular box, it had a pair of leather gloves, she gave him her half-smile as she wore the gloves, then, once again, he made her take out another box, inside there were many tiny multi-colored lollipops.

“I know you have a sweet tooth”  he said and she smiled with the corner of her mouth. Once again, he made her get another box, she put the things she took out, in front of her and between them.

“I had never opened so many presents” she commented looking between herself and Josh.

“Once for every year you didn´t get to celebrate it” when he spoke like that his eyes gleamed as if they smiled. Nichole felt as if someone had knocked the wind out of her, her eyes went wide and her lips parted a little

“The cup-cake, the guitar pick, the lollipops, the gloves, the scarf…”

“Because I ended up keeping a couple of yours” he grinned and she nodded at his interruption

“…the hat, the socks…” she couldn´t help but to chuckle

“Yup, because you haven´t lived if someone doesn´t give you clothes and specially socks in one of your birthdays … you had to have the crappy gifts too” his grin was still there and her usual half-smile was now a complete one

“The pillow…”

“Once again, no offense but you have crappy pillows here”

“I don´t use them much but I might now”

“I hope”

“…The drawing pencils and pastels, the hairpins. Are you sure these aren´t too expensive?”

“You don´t ask that about a gift” he said, she shook her head

“…the book –she keep pointing to each item as she said it- the phone strap, the shampoo” she laughed quietly

“It was so funny what you did to Aaron and that little bottle of shampoo”

“I assure you, I´ll smell like you tomorrow” she lifted the small bottle of shampoo in a cheers manner

“Ok, now for your other five years…”

“I´m turning 17 not 18”

“The shampoo doesn´t count –he said reaching into the bag –here, four of the presents are in this box” he handed her a box was wrapped with gift-paper, carefully, she opened it, when she saw what it was she stared at him

“I can´t take this”

“Yes, you can”

“No, Josh…”

“I know you can´t give me your phone number –he interrupted him- so I thought I should give you a number, oh, and you can add in it the chip of your current one, it takes two, so it´s ok. My number´s already there” he smiled

“But…”

“You know I can afford it –he rolled his eyes- and… I put in it the three new songs I made for the art project, you can take a peek of them”

“I´ll wait” she said above a whisper staring at the phone on her hands… It was not just that. “Thank you, Josh, you didn´t have to”

“I wanted to…but wait –he hurried before she could say something else- there´s your 17^th gift to be opened” he took out the final box, it was a green shiny box with a white ribbon. She opened it and took out the bracelet in it. She stared at it, she´d never seen nothing like it. It was a silver chain with dangling tiny leaves all around it.

“Are these real?” her voice was quiet as she observed the tiny leaves covered by a transparent resin

“I know how much you love the woods and I see how you´re always looking at it from the window of the classroom… I figured you´d like to have a piece of the woods with you for when you can´t be there” he smiled somewhat shyly

“You went to the woods?!” her eyes seemed worried as she stated that.

“I didn´t go on my own and I went by day, with permission, I went to the part of it that´s by the road”

“Who did you go with?” she was touching one of the leaves with the fingertips of her gloved hands

“Aaron… I convinced him to come since this was for a project, he assumed it was for the Art Club… I went home last weekend and as I bought the gifts I took the leaves and had it made” he explained

“Did you cut the small leaves yourself? –he nodded- how?” her voice was no longer audible

“Well –he dragged the word- it´s a secret” he said and felt her arms around him, he hugged back but as he did so, she pushed herself away from him

“Thank you very much Josh, I…” she was smiling a bright smile

“Did you like it?”

“I have the woods with me. I love it” she said with warm eyes as she lifted it to her eyes to observe the shades of green, yellow and orange leaves

“Let me put it on you”

“It´s ok, I´ll do it” she hurried to say leaning away, he furrowed his eyebrows

“You have surprised me… I prefer not to –she seemed to fumble with the words- risk your safety… sometimes when I´m… like this –she took a deep breath –I go back to my original –she sighed- I hurt people” a flicker of pain crossed her features.

“Hey, we´re celebrating! Do you really don´t want to listen to the songs?”

“Nope, I want to hear them live” she said as she put on her bracelet

“Ok –he smiled and glanced at his phone. It was over an hour and a half later –time to go get ready”

“Alright, I´ll walk you out” she started to get up

“…Can I take a picture with you?” his eyes went from her face to his phone and back to her

“Sure” she said after a moment. They sat on the edge of the bed and leaned closer as he took the picture, he smiled and she had her half smile. After that, she walked him out of the girl´s dorm where she thanked him again and gave him a small hug in which he whispered “Happy seventeen birthday” to her ear.

Double Life: With other eyes

someone named Slecka did this -so obviously this pix´s not mine

A/N: One more post, this is shorter though but we´re getting closer to the part I´ve been saving for today -that might take a while though but it´ll get posted today 

Happy Birthday Saku ;)

***

“Drive faster” Nichole said after ten minutes of drive. Philip glanced her through the rear mirror “Don´t make me repeat myself” her voice was cold, the man started to pick up the speed as he wondered why he had to put up with the glares of this girl. She´d threaten him once and everybody seemed to be scared of ‘the girl’ even if most didn´t know her. He wondered if he could have done something last time, she was not that big, she was a little above average and she was lean, she probably couldn´t fight a big person, sure he took her to some or other fighting class but it was just a girl, she couldn´t be older than twenty but then, there was the pay check, it was a huge amount for just driving the girl around even if he had to pass a lot of tests before even being able to become her driver.

He glanced at her once again and quickly averted his gaze. She always seemed aware of her surroundings but she also seemed pretty distant and though she´d only talked to him twice he thought she had a very authoritative voice.

As always, Philip left her right on the start of the dirt road, she got out and as always he wondered where she went, of course he knew there was a fancy school up the hill but why would she need that, he was sure that if his pay check was that big hers had to be many times more. As always, she stood there, watching for him to leave, her distant stared on the tinted glass until he left and turned to the road. He was never able to see where she went. He wondered once again about this as he drove away.

As the driver left, Nichole started to walk fast into the woods. They had arrived in half the usual time, on the thick woods, she started to run towards Burgeoys, this was a fits. She´d never rushed back except on the first nights, many years ago because she was scared and felt horrible after letting the monster out but then, though she always felt the weight on her shoulders, she rather stay hugged by the foggy woods than go back but in this dawn someone was waiting for her. A tiny smile spread across her lips and she picked up her pace going faster and jumping over the thick stone wall at once.

She closed the window slowly as she got in her room, she heard Josh´s steady breathing, he was curled on his side, his lips barely parte, the comforter all the way up to his shoulders. Very quietly she took off her hat, coat and boots and went to her bathroom, she washed her hands twice and looked at her reflection on the mirror, cold eyes of a murderer was what she saw and she felt like crying, instead she washed her face and got rid of her shirt and damped her neck with her hands.

She ended up getting rid of all her clothes and taking a quick shower. She went out carefully wrapped on a towel, she went to her closet to get some clothes then she went back to her bathroom and got changed, as she came out rubbing her wet hair with a towel, Josh´s cellphone´s alarm went off. He stirred and furrowed his eyebrows without opening his eyes, he turned it off, this made her smile, a moment later he bolted up, sitting up and looking for the lamp switch on the bedside table. He fumbled with it until it turned on, when it did, he squeezed his eyes shut and then blinked a few times until he saw her, still halfway between the door of the bathroom and her bed, she was still drying her hair with the towel, his eyes went wide open.

Double Life: Midnight Surprise

Nichole tied her braid and looked for her hat in her drawer. She sat on her bed to tie her boots and tucked in her knife inside one of her boots. The sounds of the night were barely audible, everything was so peaceful. Suddenly, Nichole sat up and listened to an odd sound for the place and time; she quickly walked to her door and swung it open just as it was going to be nocked. She yanked the person inside by his sweater and quickly closed the door and locked it.

“What are you doing here, Joshua?” she asked and quickly walked back to her bed

“I… it´s almost December 12^th” he said as she bandaged her hands and put on a black pair of gloves, she stopped and looked up to him with a smile tugging at her lips, he smiled back

“How did you get out of your dorm?”

“It was pretty easy” he let go of the straps of his backpack and put it down on the floor. She smirked

“You seem too pleased that it was easy” she put on a black jacket over her black fitted shirt

“Are you going somewhere?” he glanced over his watch “It´s an hour to midnight” he furrowed his eyebrows and his green eyes seemed confused

“Yeah… I have to go –she seemed troubled- you…eh…you can stay here though”

“Where are you going?”  

“Monsters need to be fed” she said with a raised eyebrow

“What? Are you going out?” he asked again, she nodded “But it´s almost midnight”

“An hour to midnight –she looked at her watch- fifty to midnight. I have to go”

“Nic…”

“Please don´t ask” she interrupted him talking above a whisper

“…Just be safe”

“I´ll do my best” she opened her window

“I should…” the boy hesitated; she was with one leg out already

“I´ll be back before five” she gave him somewhat a shy smile. He grinned.

“Are you leaving me alone in your room?” he had a playful disposition that made him resemble Aaron more if that was possible

“Sure, my undergarments are on the second drawer, money on the top drawer and my diary on the bedside table” she winked to a wide-eyed Josh “Close the window for me” she said and stepped into the emptiness. She fell on her feet and looked up to him; Josh was still on the window watching her. She started to swiftly walk towards the orchard and once she was under the shadows of the trees, she started to run to make up for the spent time with Josh.

She got in the black car and she started to feel the eyes of the driver on her, since the time in which she´s put her knife on his neck he had only stole glances but now he was staring only stopping when he got caught by her as she observed him. She watched her reflection on the rear mirror. Her eyes were not reflecting the cold gaze that Tilly had engraved in them, her breath was caught and some old memory of panic rose in her chest but there was the monster with her showing her who she was and the ice wrapped her eyes and heart again.

The travel was long; Philip had driven her to a heliport where Natasha was waiting for her already in the helicopter. She got in.

“What are you doing here?” Nic asked Nat

“You´re going to a party and you´re going to look for this girl –the woman showed her a picture of a young woman- but I need you to look different than your usual self because there will be someone there that might recognize you”

“Who?”

“The girl´s boyfriend is the man who´ll be singing there”

“Why this girl?”

“It´s better if you don´t ask”

“Tell me!” the girl commanded and the woman sighed as she was pulling wigs out of a bag

“She is the only daughter of one of your father´s ex-associates”

“Ex?”

“They had a disagreement”

“What kind of disagreement”

“I don´t know all the details but I know that he´d threaten your father´s family, your little sister´s life”

“Is Camille alright?” Nichole´s heart was beating faster

“She is, she´s been sent out of the city, they´re all in Crystal´s house”

“I see… what good it´ll do to take away this woman´s life?”

“She´s the heiress of the man´s business and she´s pretty good at it…”

“Still…”

“She was who spoke the threat”

Surprise filled Nichole´s eyes “Why?”

“She knows Camille and she knows how important she´s for Karl”

“Why did she do it?”

“They were pressuring your father”

“To?”

“I don´t know the details”

“Tell me what you know”

“I know she´s a strong woman and also a jealous one”

“Are you going to tell me what I asked you last time I saw you? About where I was made?” Nichole broke the silence that had fell between them

“I haven´t been able to find out… but –the older woman quickly interrupted the girl before she could speak- I found out that the boy you´ve gotten close to is the son of your dad´s latest new business partner”

“I knew that”

“You did? How?” Nat was surprised

“What business Mr. Arlington and Karl have?”

“Your dad is investing in Mr. Arlington’s hospitals and pharmaceutical companies”

“What do you know of that family?”

“Wanna get to be a part of them?” Nat had a wicked grin

“Right. As if I needed any approval”

“Defensive much?” Nat grinned as Nichole glared “you know you look good being a red-head” the woman said putting a mirror in front of the girl. Nat had put on her a long haired wig with styled curls that bounced as she moved. She´d also put on make-up on her eyes and face, she looked a bit older.

“You better answer me what I asked you next time” the girl said as she jumped off the helicopter and went in to another car with another driver she´d seen only a couple of times.

The music was loud but the man singing was good. Nichole pushed through people until she got closer to the stage. She started to dance and cheer until she got the attention of the singer who extended his hand to her and she climbed on stage and the man sang to her as she danced and gave him smiles, her rehearsed smiles. After the song ended she leaned in closer to the singer and then went down back on the floor and as expected she was pulled to a side by the image of the woman on the picture that Natasha had shown her.

“He´s with me” the woman said

“He´s over there alone” Nichole said and the woman laughed. It made Nichole surprised.

“You´re cute, we want to try new things” the woman smirked

“Is that so?” the monster took over

“Up for the challenge?” the woman smiled placing her hands on Nic´s waist

“I need to know who you are first”

“I´m Mia and I like red-heads with brown eyes” she took a step closer. The red-head smiled

“It´s my policy to know lasts names first…”

“I´m Mia Fratti”

“Italian?” the fake red-head asked tilting her head, this was not the woman Natasha had said she was

“My mother is” the woman said, her hands sliding down Nic´s waist

“So… you´re not really Fratti”

“I am… I never met the father but that´s no topic of conversation” the woman tried to close the distance between them

“Wait” Nichole said

“You´ll like it” the woman tried again to close the distance

“Wait!” the girl commanded taking her phone out

“You lied” Nic said

“What?!” Natasha said on the other side

“You lied”

“She´s who your father wants”

“Why?”

“You´re sent to do your job!”

“I´m not doing it!”

“Yes, you will!”

“No” Mia made the girl hung up

“Leah” Nichole called her, the color of the woman´s face was drained

“How do you know my name?” the woman pushed the girl against the wall “Who are you?”

“Karl Duchenne´s daughter” the monster answered

“Bad choice…-the woman smirked- I want to erase that name…bad choice kid”

“Why do you want that?” the monster made pretenses of being submissive and scared

“You´re dying so you I´ll answer that. Your daddy won´t fund our new business anymore out of nowhere, he´s giving the money to hospitals… I yet have to find to whom he´s giving it… when I do –she grinned wickedly- it won´t be good to be them”

“Is your offer down?” Nichole asked, the monster still making pretenses

“I just told you you´re dying, don’t think your pretty face will save you” the woman pinched the girl´s cheek

“I might be able to help you… just so you know…-she said faking shyness- I am interested in your offer”

“Why would I believe you?”

“I´m sent away to a border school just for him to be happy with his new wifey”

“Uh… you seem likeable…” the woman grabbed the girl´s wrists and started to take her away and then she stopped and turned “What´s your name again?”

“Danielle” Nichole lied giving the woman her other hand, her nude hand

“You´ve got pretty hands” the woman said, evil in her eyes. She didn´t believe Nichole as Nic didn´t believe her yet, Nichole gave her one of her rehearsed smiles and as the woman took her hand the girl felt the familiar pain in her chest, the old panic was just a memory for her but it was evident in the woman´s eyes, she knew what was happening, she tried to steady herself holding onto the girl

“You´re not going to hurt my sister or my friend” Nichole whispered as the woman faltered and fell on the floor with a lost stare. She was gone.

Nichole picked up the vibrating phone that she´d been ignoring.

“Did you leave?” Natasha´s voice came out of the phone

“I did” the monster lied

“Why? Nichole, your father´s going to kill me!” fear was evident in Nat´s voice

“You lied to me”

“No, I didn´t! Nichole, please go back there, please”

“No, I won´t do it” the girl´s voice was quiet

“Nichole, please –the woman pleaded- I´ll do anything!”

“Where did you work, what´s the name of that place where I was made, answers that´s what I want” the monster said in a calm voice contrasting with the distressed one on the other side of the line. No remorse in her. the woman took a sharp inhale as if her breath was caught in her throat. There was silence. Nichole reached the black car and got in

“I don´t know” the woman finally said

“Then, I´m going” the girl closed the car´s door

“NO, please, stop, I´ll do anything!”

“No questions asked?” the girl bargained

“Yes, anything”

“Alright, be aware that I´ll collect” she made the driver a sign to stop, he did, she opened the door as she hung up, the monster smiled satisfied. “She´s closer at giving in” she thought as she closed the door and went out for a quick round around the place, she couldn´t let the driver know she hadn´t gone back. No one could know of her doings.

 “Did you…?” Natasha was waiting for her on the heliport. The girl nodded.

“Thank you” relieve noticeable in her face

“ Are you happy about the murder of a woman?”

“I´m glad I won´t be that woman”

“You´re a psycho… we all are” the girl mumbled throwing the wig to the older woman. As they were closer to the place where Philip was waiting the woman spoke

“I have a present for you”

“I need no presents from you”

“Nic, please, I want to show my appreciation for you”

“Just leave me alone then, or better, give me answers” the girl´s eyes bored into the woman´s until she looked away

A/N: I hope there are not that many mistakes but... it´s me so... ok, anyway, here´s the start of this. I´ve been wanting to write/post this for a while.

Happy Birthday Saku!

******

“Here!” Natasha said giving Nic a gift bag “It´s a coat” she said with a smile when the girl didn´t take it “the real gift is in the inside pocket” she grinned. Nichole took it and took out an expensive-looking brown coat and checked the inside pockets, on one the one of the right side there was an envelope.

“Happy birthday!” said Natasha in a cheerful voice, Nichole eyed her finding amazing her ability to go from one mood to the other and then she figured she was probably the same.

On the envelope there was a birthday card, some money and a piece of paper with a date and time

“What´s this?” Nic asked Natasha

“The real gift”

“Ok”

“I´ll pick you up that day and you´ll be spending a day with your little sister” the woman grinned

“Is that for real?” the girl said above a whisper

“It is. I promise” Nat said and she thought she saw a gleam of hope in the girl´s eyes but it was gone too soon to tell

“Ok, we´ll see” the girl put the envelope back on the inside pocket of the coat and then she put it back in the gift bag. Once they arrived she jumped off of the helicopter and ran to get into the car with Philip. She glanced at her watch; it was an hour to five.

Yay Saku!!!

My dear friend´s birthday´s today.
And of course, it was the first thing in my mind when I got up ;)
I wanted to do better but, here it is a little something for you ^^
My best wishes to you :) *hugs*

ah, and a little more...
All posts today are dedicated to you for your bday --wait, does that mean there´ll be more posts today? yeah, I guess, I´ll have to now :p -actually I´ve been saving what I´ll post for today :)

Unintended

"You could be my unintended" I was listen to this as I typed DL: With ease and idk it made me think of Nic/Ash/Josh -specially with Josh acting all cute last night as I wrote the one thing I´ve been wanting to write for a while now!!!