punch bag

another entry about me... I feel bad, I feel insulted, I feel hurt, basically I feel like I´ve been taken as a punch bag and hit with fists made of words. I´ve been called a liar, I been accused of lack of principles, I was acused directly of being a liar. Im not a liar, I dont lie, that´s not my style...of all the things I´ve been called liar is just the worst because even the ones who hate/dislike me never even consider the thought of me being a liar and to get that accusation from someone that´s supposed to know me, that´s supposed to trust me, that has said that loves me, it´s just so hurting... I wanted to growl back "dont call me a liar, you should know that Im not that!" but I let it pass, I let the words punch me hard because when someone´s upset the words just come out and sometimes arent meant to be said. I could hear tears from whom accused me, I havent harm that person I intended to confort and ease the sadness and frustration but in the way I got accused. It took me aback but I dont think it would´ve been wise to start a fight, frustration and anger, even if not caused by me, make people say things they dont want to right? should I´ve said something to defend myself? or should I just wait till the realization of the words fall upon this person´s mind? It´s kind of hard to be of any confort when you get hurt in the process....

candle light

Im tied to here and now

but my heart goes to you,

Light and frail feathers,

I can only give you words;

Yours were the lighthouse that brought me safe from the shipwreck

I´ll try to be a candle light in the shadow of your night.

I cant make promises

and we can not save eachother

but until the time to part comes

I will hold your hand tight to keep you warm.

You havent gotten lost, you´re just making a new path,

and the walked path is not a waste of time, it never is,

it´s just colors that set to make the great picture your life is.

You will get to your destine, I know so,

because you taught me to believe,

believe it willl be what it should be.

My heart´s with you,

my heart´s with you as it has always been.

more me

I´ve been posting quite many posts -so redundant- during the lasts five days I think n if not well it feel like it, and it´s been nothing creative just a bunch of nonsenses/complains but I guess I complain a lot and well I dont have friends for the moment, well I do have friends but they´re busy so I cant really talk to them so I have amazing "midnight reveries" to "listen" to me, plus like they say over here -el papel aguanta cualquier cosa! (something like: the paper holds anything that´d be like you can say anything when writing it doesnt matter) *sigh* Im still hurting physically (I noticed last night while revising Fallen Angel story that I cant write that work I keep writing in like we write it in Spanish grrrr) and I have to go back to work tomorrow, well I was supposed to go back today but I just didnt feel well so I call in sick but tomorrow´s the day though I wont go to my other job, my afternoon job b/c I dont want to overdo myself n Im the one saying to my friends that health is more important than anything else so I might as well follow my own advice =/ Im pulling myself together for tomorrow but I -I dont know I wish I didnt feel this bad, I mean I literally cant stand, it hurts when I try to stand up and then to go back and sit again -my back, that´s what hurts, but this thursday I have a doctor´s appointment to see I feel he´ll check on me again, we´ll see -haha that means they´ll stick a needle in my arm and get some blood out I dont mind but it doesnt mean I like it. Oh well, I´ll wish myself a good luck ... Good luck Moon, it´ll go well :)  ---geez, I miss my friends so much

nice!

just beautiful!

gender neutral

I think I want to move to Sweden btw that reminds me I had a dream that I went to live there lol anyways why am I saying this? because I just read some article -who knows how accurate it is though- that describes this pre-school where there´s no anything that reinforce gender-roles and I find it amazing! I dont know if that is because a few years ago I read this thick book on feminism and how gender-roles are given to us since before we are born or because I had a very very feminist teacher -but yeah, I am indeed a feminist, though not a man hater at any rate- n yeah my university has lots of feminist teachers, pretty much all of them, but anyways I found the idea amazing and well I´ve always have this idea that when I have children -though I refuse to ever have them haha- I´d like to try not to give those gender-roles -you can blame my father for making me a feminist(that´s nice dad!- Of course after the articles there were many comments...many of them dissappointed me, one of them said that they´re emasculating men, I was like whaatt??!! and some others asking who´d like to marry a gender-neutral man or woman, to be honest I would -though I dont want to marry, but Im just saying- I think most of the people who disagreed with this iniciative must be old? not that Im saying by any means that old people clinges to stereotypes but I´ve seen that they tend to do it more than younger people or maybe they were very religious since they were treating the topic as if the iniciative is trying to change gender when it only tries to give equality I guess.
One more thing, there was, of the comments I read, one that I think is more logic or valid and it was related to the fact that in the school the tales and books all deal with topics related to adoption, homosexuality and stuff like that and you wont find there cinderella or white snow, well the person said that it was true there were not typical stereotypes there but they were making other stereotypes I think this person was kind of right not that Im against of any of that, on the contrary I think it´s nice that they´re giving this children the oportunity of being open-minded but yeah that, in a way is making another stereotype, ok, probably not in a bad way but it´s just another way since before the whole thing of girls must be girly and men must be manly was consider "natural" nowadays what´s "normal" is changing and I think Im glad for that, after all, as I read somewhere "normal is the exception to the rule" :)
here´s the article:

** and yeah, like everything in this blog, this is only my opinion, my point of view -that makes me think that I should put my last blog description again "looking life though Meztli´s (Moon´s) eyes" and that is it, just my thoughts on the matter

a winter day

it´s a cold winter day, it´s not really cold but it´s colder for me since I probably have a fever, a cold winter day, it´s windy and gray. My sad music´s playing -it´s sad yet it could be happy depending on one´s point of view- I havent move from my bed but to take a shower. Im in pain. Im alone, not really my dearest mother who´s been taking care of me is downstairs and my brother -who like always is talking to his girlfriend- is in his room, they´re there and they´d be next to me if I´d asked to ...but I feel alone, maybe it´s just me being sick and sad at being so often sick -though I should be used to it by now- what I hate the most is  the pain which seems to linger in me. Mom´s worried she said they said ppl could die from this illness but I guess life wont be that merciful with me, no I´ll just have to go through the pain and nausea and headache and whatever else there is to feel due to this shitty thing I got... ah yeah, the only ones who made my phone ring are the cellphone´s company like four times or more for the past three days remembering me that I must update my adress n stuff or I´ll loose my number w/e I dont feel like doing that just now. I feel like having some cake ha! I can be so ramdon sometimes, I think is a way of coping with things or just my usual crazyness.
Now I´ll just keep up my work, since I have tons to do, I dont really feel like working but w/e it´s better than sulking around I guess ha! which reminds me -for some reason- that mom keeps teasing me that I need a boyfriend to get rid of that much stress that I have -yeah, I have a unique type of mom, I guess it´s logical since Im mmm not much similar to other people haha

It hurts...

One Girl

This is an awesome story I´ve been reading for the past year. It´s really beautiful, it inolves love, music, loosing and getting back loved ones. It´s really fun to read.

OneGirl Chapter 19, a romance fiction - FictionPress.com