My mother was cleaning her shoes, putting them in order, she was squatted down. I bent and hugged her. I was very shaken after our conversation. It´s not easy to reveal or confirm a secret and feel vulnerable about the outcome. She didnt hug me back but she got up, turned around and then she hugged me. "I love you and I just want you to be happy" she said, I started sobbing and as she repeated it I couldnt help but crying but I cried like a child, I felt so vulnerable and moved by her words. She kept hugging me "maybe that´s how God is, He hugs us and tells us that he loves us and want us to be happy" she said and I just kept crying until I forced myself to stop.
I am so grateful for my mother, despite her disagreement with my point of view she is willing to deal with it and despite that I know that I´ve disappointed her she didnt say a thing, she just said she loves me. I dont want her to feel sad because of me though, that´s what makes me feel bad and would make me do whatever it takes to make her happy but it seems that she feels that way about me too since she wants me to be happy and I want to be happy but right now I just feel sad for making her sad. I feel conforted by her words though.
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