Monday, February 25, 2013

Hope is your color


Who you are?
And
Why do you stay?
Can´t you recognize a monster when you see it?
Light and darkness walking hand by hand
I´m afraid darkness will engulf you
Hope is your color
Peaceful stare melting ice
Going right through my lies
open heart shattering walls
Healing wounds, carving new
Are you really staying?
Do you know how I am?
The monster will eat you up
and feed me the pain of your eyes
guilt´s too heavy on my shoulder
Gods can´t lift it
How could an angel do it?

***
Ok, this was my first attempt at doing a poem for one of my characters. Nic volunteered haha this time it was like I saw through her eyes instead of just being there and telling the story as I always do. Ok, anyway, I don´t know if this is good or not but there´s one line that I really like about this one.

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3 comments:

  1. SakuyaFebruary 25, 2013 at 6:33 PM

    Those two lines "The monster will eat you up and feed me the pain of your eyes" That is purely incredible!
    It's funny because soon as I read the question on the third line I knew it was from Nic's pov so you were successful in making it very Nic and not Mez. Way to go you!

    Poor Nic. She is so worried and yet she wears that mask of cool/calmness like it's her actually face. This is like finally she's speaking without the filter of trying to keep certain people at bay while at the same time inviting them in.

    My favorite line period is "Hope is your color" That is such a loaded tiny but humongous statement.
    I love this! Keep it up ;)

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    Replies
    1. MeztliFebruary 25, 2013 at 6:43 PM

      Thank you for your support!!! it means a lot to me specially since this is my first attempt at this! The tips you gave me helped me lots! so thx!

      I´m glad you got to see Nic this way, it´s so purely her and her mind/feelings.

      That line you liked about hope was the first line that came out of Nic´s mouth hehehe and it was what triggered all the rest.

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  2. SakuyaFebruary 25, 2013 at 8:39 PM

    Oh and the picture. A tiny symbol of hope where you'd least expect it. Growth in a rocky place. Maybe a metaphor for Nic's inside feelings...? Teehee
    Or maybe a symbol for Josh being as he's the light in the darkness. The life in a supposedly dead zone ;)

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