Letter

Alexander:

I hope everything is well. I hope you've found this letter.

When I first woke up – when I was born, I guess – I was living your life. I had all your friends and your family, and Trevor. I'm afraid to say I've lost most of those friends, but I haven't lost the others. I think I've done well with Trevor. I hope you can keep him. He's a treasure.

I'll miss him a lot. I wonder if I'll be dead when I'm gone from your body… it could be. I'll miss Trevor the most. Does he miss me? Maybe you can't answer, but I had to ask.

So, anyway, at first I didn't know how lucky I was. I thought it was perfectly normal to be born into someone else's life. When I really grasped how strange my life had been, it changed me. Before then, I didn't really care who you were. Like… the previous tenant in a house. It doesn't really matter who they were. Once I understood though, I couldn't just sit still. It fascinated me, that someone could just go away like that, and be replaced.

So I started to think a lot about you, about who you were, about what you were like. I asked your parents a lot of questions! Talk to them about it, they'll laugh. It kind of obsessed me – it still does.

Lately I've been getting these strange spots in my vision, flashes of things, temporary feelings in parts of my body. I can't be sure, but I think this means you're coming back. That I'm going away, and you're coming back. It terrified me. It still terrifies me.

I mean, think. Before that, I had no way of knowing if I was going to grow old and see your parents (can I call them ours?) die peacefully, maybe make a family with Trevor, or someone like him (a boy has a right to shop around.) I thought maybe this is permanent. Well, I don't think so now. It's been getting more frequent, more powerful, these flashes and pins and needles and everything.

I'm dying, then. It's not a painful way to go. It disturbs me, but I can live with it for now. Because… because this is what I was meant for. To take your place for a while. To breathe your breath for a while. To hold your hands for you – I was meant for it all.

I think I love you. I don't know you, but I know about you. I know you were good enough for Mom and Dad (it's what I call them, sorry if it's weird for you); good enough for Trevor. I just want you to be happy and okay.

So that's it. Be safe. Say hi to everyone for me…

Sincerely,

Chaplain

This was a letter I found in one of my readings, I thought it was very interesting, moving. It probably doesn´t make much sense on its own but I felt like I had to have it in a way, ofc, all the credit goes to the writer of the story which is why I´m also posting the link below. I think the story was very interesting and the idea behind it was new, perhaps it´s been done but I feel that this one is done in a simple, nice way.

Story: I was meant to hold you