what is it?

what is it about me?
bipolar reactions that I´ll never understand
like this poem of the medieval times
not once the desired outcome is what I get
my promise to myself, was it feasible?
no matter what I say, the memory still calls my heart
am I pulling you down?
your warning´s all that I see, ignore it my gut says
my mind and heart are at war
are yours too?
what is it about me?
believe me, I will never understand
like the quote about love and loving, what you want and what I want
how does it feel? the song said, one that I sang for you all alone
not nice, that´s how but I heard your advice
practical, straightforward and harsh, painful in all its purpose
always in the middle, huh? there but not quite
let me drown, pull me up
you´re always in me, never here
I´m a ghost just like you, just like you
what is it about you?