light, precise and pure

I cant believe I´ve left this just like that, abandonned... I´ve had this for quite sometime but for one reason or another I never published it. No matter what I dont think it´s fair for me or the tale to be forgotten. This part is to be read after (click there) Light, precise and pure, part I . Please, if you feel like reading this go to the first part first haha

This one comes with music! -it seemed appropriate or something like that

** II **
"HE is love. God is love" her mother used to say. "But not all the way" Ly would add on her thoughts. "He doesnt put up with this kind of love, there´s a pattern to follow, an order, no other" that had been the conclussion her mother had made of her speech. Ly´s mother a woman number one in religion, number one in being torn by those rules. They had been talking hypotetically, of course, though she knew it wouldnt have made any difference if she had just said things straight. Her parents were proud of her but that didnt mean they pay any attention to her, on the contrary, she was a stranger to them. Confused. Forbidden. Sinful. Those were the words the mother used to describe the feelings in Ly´s heart.

"My angel, will you be able to save me this time?" she thought for herself. Light. Precise. Pure. Those had been the ropes that had pulled her from death long time ago. Ly had known at that time that she loved Angie. She also had ignored the feeling, unable to name it. Now, once more she needed to be saved. This time she had to ask for it, unlike the first time.

She had never needed anybody. Not even in her worst moments she had asked anything. She was strong, she had to be or else she thought "what gain will I have if not?". Despite her pride, her angel, Angie, had given her everything she hadnt asked for, everything she needed but didnt know. She had managed to give a purpose to her life, she made her look life was worth to live.


Ly just didnt know how to ask for help or ask for something at all. How she was going to ask Angie to correspond her feelings? Would Angie still be there for her? Ly was afraid that asking for Angie´s heart would became a non-returning spot. She was afraid that everything would fall apart. Still, she was certain Angie wouldnt deny her arms for a hug. "one more lesson to learn, huh, Angie? one more..."

Angie and Ly were perfectly compatible but amazingly different. To Angie it was the easiest thing in the world to convince Ly of everything she wanted. Countless times she had convinced Ly to do as she pleased, but Ly didnt remember a single time where she had asked Angie to do something unless she was absolutely sure Angie would do it. Still Angie always managed to surprise her. Ly had often thought of her like a flower dancing with the wind.

Despite everything, her suffering was caused by that lack of certainty, by her inability to guess Angie´s response to her feelings. Maybe it was just like the other day, when she had her head on Angies chest therefore she had been unable to see Angie´s eyes and her thoughts in them. "Carpe Diem!" she thought "I have to let her go a little to be able to read in her eyes"
~~~~~~~~~~

"You´re so quiet today, Ly" said the boy that walked next to her while reaching for her hand.
"eh? where you saying something?" she moved her hand away pretending to check on her hair while combing it with her fingers.
The boy was aware of the rejection he had just recieved from her. She knew he noticed it. They kept on walking. It was almost sunset. Both of them had had a class together. Ly hadnt paid attention to the lecture. She had been thinking about Angie, about what she was going to do, about the possible answers Angie could give her after confessing.

The time whas a problem. It was going to define everything. "If this becomes a turning point and everything changes and this gets her away from me, like a feather to the wind - she thought- I want to keep her close as much as I can just like we are now... but since I know I´m way too impatient and she´s so unpredictable it is possible that I´m already wasting  precious time that she and I could have together" Time, how problematic it is. Everlasting, untamable, unstoppable.


Angie was shinning, like a vision. A delirium. The sun at her back seemed to be there for her. The sunlight made her beautiful brown eyes to look even prettier, warm; her hair, moved by the breeze, took a golden shade. They smiled. The three of them smiled, but now Ly only existed for Angie. She rushed to her. They hugged and stayed a while like that.

The boy was stunned there getting no attention from the girls that were already talking. Ly was smiling brighter than he had ever seen her. They sat and chat a little, the three of them, however every time Angie was talking, Ly seemed to hear nothing but her voice.

"...what do you think about it?" the boy asked. Ly turned to him. Her cheecks blushed a little, her eyes opened wide. She had been taken by surprise. She hadnt been paying attention to the boy´s words, at all. Angie started to laugh, she had noticed the little interest Ly had given to the boy. Ly only looked to the ground a little embarrased but she also laughed a little.

"I´m sorry. I´m sorry that I got distracted. What were you saying?" she had to put a lot of effort to focus on the guy´s words this time. She answered the best that she could but as soon as the boy left his words were lost for her.

Now Ly and Angie were alone. They had been talking now for a little while since the boy had left. Angie started to laugh, out of no where. Ly was at a lost.
"you´re so mean! you didnt listen to one word he said!" Angie laughed making Ly´s face red.
"it´s not that...it´s just that I was a little distracted" "by you", she added in her mind, "when I see you, everything else ceases to exist" She flushed by her own thoughts. Her eyes were fixed on the ground.
"and what are you thinking about, Lyyyy?" Angie said in a teasingly tone. Sometimes she could be so intuitive. "nothing" was the answer that came first to Ly´s mind, but she realized this was the perfect moment to bring out the subject that had her all distracted."what other opportunity will I have where everything comes out so naturally?" she asked herselft.

She had to interrupt Angie that was about to say something. Sometimes, like that day, she forgave Ly´s silences.
"mmmm I- I was thinking ummmm I think mmm, no, mmm I was looking at you, that´s why I wasnt mmm  that´s why I was distracted"
She didnt saw Angie´s face while talking, they were seated next to each other, their shoulders next to each other´s. She didnt turn her head to face Angie but she could feel Angie´s gaze on her face. Ly´s hand started to tremble. Angie smiled.

"who wouldnt be distracted by me?"  she said playfully "someone so pretty like me..." she said pretending to be vain, exagerating it, actually. This time, Ly turned her head to see Angie. If she didnt face her everything would be just a joke, just a game. She couldnt allow her mouth not to express the intensity of her feelings. So, she completely turned her body and saw Angie straight to the eye.
"it is true, you´re really beautiful. Much more under the sunset. I like it" she was able to said it without hesitation. She smiled. Both did it. "but mmm you´re beautiful not only with this dim light but with any light. I am completely sure that you´re beautiful in the darkest night and the brightest day too. You´re heart and soul much more"  Ly smiled again, while placing her trembling, cold hand on Angie´s knee.

"Th-thank you, I guess... that sounds weird" said Angie drawing her brows together a little, confussion staining her eyes. Ly half-smiled and took a deep breath before answering.

"yes it sounds weird....but it is true. Actually it doesnt sound weird, it is...No, not really, you know? it´s not so weird, it is pretty common" her voice was a murmur but she said the words clearly. "I like everything you are" she smiled again. Her throught was dry. She didnt know what else to say to convey all her feelings into words. There was a moment of silent in wich both girls looked to the ground.

"I-I don´t get it" at that moment Ly felt the tense atmosphere with Angie´s posture change. The sun became cold and the air heavy to breath.

"this is the first time..." Ly said speaking softly and slowly "...that in my mind I have this thoughts. I had never felt like saying anything like what I just said. I dont know how it has happened or why, but I dont think I need a reason to love you. I just feel it. I like you so much to the point that I feel like I´ve lost myself. I think about you all the time... I dream about you..." her words started to come out fast one after another "...when I see you my heart skips a beat, just now my hands are shaking and they´re cold as if they were made out of ice but my cheecks on the contrary, feel as if I was burning" she stopped and talked again after sighing "this is the first time that I do this, that I feel this"

It seemed to her that time stopped and everything but the two of them disappeared. She could almost see herself as if she were looking from above. Angie´s expression was unreadable.

Tears.

That was Angie´s response. Salty, warm, confused tears coming down her pretty eyes. "what have I done?" Ly thought when she saw her angel´s reaction. Without thinking she got closer to Angie and hugged her whispering to her ear "I´m sorry, I´m sorry, please forgive me...I- I dont want anything, you dont have to do anything, I just thought..." she stopped "I just thought that you´d like to know it" she mumbled in her thoughts "I´m sorry"

Despite that she was hugging Angie to confort her, though she didnt understand why she let her do it,  it seemed to Ly  that the one being conforted was herself. Slowly, politely and now calm, Angie moved away from the embrace. She watched Ly for a moment. She seemed worried, but Ly also knew that she was not looking like her normal self now, even more with that reddisht tone that crying leaves behind.

"you dont want anything, eh? then....?" Angie always knew how to go right through her. She always found the way to disarmed her, leave her out of balance, with no control. Ly closed her eyes. A pained expression took over her features for a second. She wanted to answer honestly. Looking to her eyes. I was only fair to do so.

"..that I dont want anything means that you dont have to force yourself to do anything, you have no responsibility towards me. It is obvious that I do want something from you but I´ll understand if it is not available for me"

"Isnt it against honor, duty and tradition, miss heir?" Angie lifted one of her eyebrows
"I dont care about that, that´s not important to me. You..." she said in a sigh, before feeling a hand leading her own to Angie´s chest. She could feel the beat of that heart that was a copy of what her own sounded like.

"what does this heart tells you?" Angie asked. Their eyes met. Ly´s showed confussion. Angie´s seemed to ask for something "what´s in you heart? will you say I´ll love you forever? will you say the same that everyone says? is that what you think you´re feeling? tell me, tell me, what´s over there? what´s here? what´s t-this...th-that?" Angie had never spoken like that, she had never seemed so desperate and tormented like when she uttered all those questions. Ly was in shock and she didnt have answers for any of Angie´s questions... Shocked...just shocked.

The sun had died beyond the trees, artificial lights were they only company. The cold night breeze seemed to make a statement when it blew against them messing Angie´s hair, which seemed to turn to life with the wind. The breeze was like a cold caress that contrasted like white and black with the warthm on Angie´s chest.

Memories.

Ly remembered.
"Light. Precise. Pure. " she finally said putting Angie´s hand on her chest, over her heart. There was a long pause, a long silence.

"Light... precice, pure?" Angie echoed smiling while the words were sinking into her soul. She was smiling brightly. Ly felt how her angel was saving her only with her smile only with her sight.

"light, precise, pure" both whispered in their thoughts while embracing each other.

wandering 12 * Falling Down

"Im the one calling you to make sure you are ok" that part of her dream or delussion, whatever it was, had lingered in Anna´s memory. I guess I was truly sick, she thought, I was trully sick since I was listening voices instead of just my thoughts.
"you are sick indeed, you are always hearing me" Scire said. It seemed like she was trying not to laugh. Anna rolled her eyes.
"sicker than usual, then?.... I never knew you could tell such tales, usually you´re just contradicting me"
"I didnt tell you any tale"
Both of them kept quiet, Anna was about to cross a street. She was quite careful when crossing streets. She was very scared of cars, her hand closed in a fist everytime, perhaps if she had someone by her side she´d take their hand...but no hand was there to hold her and reassure her. She had have an accident when little, both her mother and her. She had ended under the car with a broken leg. The pain was a reminder of it in cold days.

"Scire I dont want to eat this anymore" she murmured at luch.
"Then eat something else" Scire said matter-of-factly
"No, you dont get it. I dont want to eat. I want to leave. I feel like laying down to never get up"
"We should´ve stayed home then"
"home, right, didnt you see how parents seen to think we´re faking it. I rather be out here than over there. You should know this"
"dont take it on me" At this point Anna made an exasperated sound and said no more, pass away the cafeteria and went to the garden, right through the pine tree. There she lay, feeling really cold. The fever was comming back. She took a pill out of the blister and drank it.

A moment later she opened her eyes and saw a ceiling, she felt herself laying on a stretcher. Her eyelids felt heavy. She blinked a couple of times. She saw water on the ceiling, her head felt heavy.
"The ceiling is made of water" she thought when she saw the waves in it. "No, that´s impossible, the ceiling cant be made of water, that doesnt make any sense" Scire whispered because she, too, saw as if water was floating over them. "We must be dreaming" she said softly
"Do you see what´s on the walls?" Anna half-smiled
"what?"
"red, red spatters...they´ve been painted, they´ve been tried to cover up but you can still see the pale red there. Blood" As Anna described it, Scire saw it too.
"That´s pink, it cant be blood, why would that be there?" Their heart started to pound.
"how would I know, Scire, but you can clearly see, it´s been painted white... ah, where am I?"
"I feel tired, Anna, we are tired"
"I dont want to close my eyes"
"are you afraid of closing your eyes?" they both heard the wind asking. Not knowing why Anna nodded and closed her fist taking the rim of the cover she had. She wasnt scared of closing her eyes but she couldnt manage a coherent thought or a way to explain what she was feeling or seeing. Her thoughts were rushed to her mind, they overlapped and collapsed into one another. Memories were being re-lived by her mind and it all seem to cause her laughter but she couldnt manage a smile.
"There´s smoke" she said after a while
"where?" Scire asked
"look, on top of the wall, there´s white smoke, as if there was a cigarrette there, if you look down there, close to the pink stains there´s some more smoke, purplish and pinkish, it looks like cotton candy. It keeps comming out of the wall. Why?" she heard herself laugh.
"Try to sleep" said the wind again and she thought she saw his eyes. Light eyes, clear eyes, blue like the sky "Close your eyes, Anna" the wind prompted her.
"why do you want me to sleep so badly?" she asked and blinked forcing her eyes to stay open watching the dance of colored smoke infront of her eyes. As the time passed she felt herself on a black carpet that melted and let her fall down, down, down to a shadow. She heard voices around her, farther; she was unable to understand what they were saying. She kept falling and falling through the slimy shadow.
Her eyes, ears and thoughts were oblivious to the world now. The wind kept talking.

***
written on the go... most likely to have many mistakes ...too lazy atm to correct them

soul-less

Once again is about you.
Once again is about me.
I am not that strong.
I´m about to brake.

My heart´s heavy,
it´s gone from ice to stone
to fragil crystal.

I close my eyes but it does not go away,
it´s all the same, pain does not go away
Im about to brake into a a body without soul....

Un paréntesis inusual

****
Debo esta genial historia a mi querida amiga Cecy. Gracias C por compartirla conmigo y dejarme publicarla.

Es una historia cargada de emociones y lindas figuras que me tuvo pegada a cada letra. Tal como su autora esta salpicada de buenos sentimientos y un sentido de lo que está bien que da envidia -de la buena, claro. 

****
Caminando por los días conocemos caminos que de una u otra forma nos conducen a lo que deseamos, a esos sueños que hemos plasmado en nuestros pensamientos desde que éramos unos niños….cada etapa construye un peldaño, paginas formando los capítulos de una gran historia.

Dibujando nuestras experiencias encontramos espacios, pausas que en ocasiones se ligan a nuestros sueños…mientras que otras quedan como empezaron; como un paréntesis en medio de los días….

Con una broma, así comenzó, con juegos y sonrisas que divertían los días…nunca me percaté de su existencia física mas sí de su espíritu, el cual sin lugar a dudas admiraba, le consideraba una figura diferente, simplemente eso…ni mi mente ni mi tiempo podrían agrupar algo más…
Sin embargo parecía q poco a poco su presencia notaba la mía, y que contrario a lo que pensaba y quería, a mi espíritu eso no le era indiferente…poco a poco el verle causaba cierta alegría, cierta emoción, un poco absurda en realidad ¿Qué pasaba?, su mirada parecía que veía algún artefacto diáfano, su sonrisa natural y sus palabras cada vez aumentando a medida de alargar ciertos argumentos para conversar.

Era divertido y a la vez grato compartir un tiempo a su lado, pero mi mente le albergaba cada día un poco más, cada detalle se volvía más importante de lo que debía ser, era algo inconsciente, y no es alarde pero parecía que era mutuo...

Digno de risa quizá no lo sé pero en un momento parecía que no podía sacarlo de mi mente, mis ideas le pensaban más y más y parecía que le pasaba igual, pensando en sus palabras o en algún recuerdo dirigido a lo mismo me encontraba y llegaba un saludo de su parte, a veces con preguntas para iniciar conversación, a veces con detalles que no dejaban de llamar mi atención no solo porque eran para mí sino por…porque fuera como fuera no tenía que ser así…No debía ser una presencia más que se cruzaba en la escritura de mi libro, sin embargo parecía querer volverse un protagonista de él, cuando sabía que tenía un papel estelar en otro.
Así pasaron varios días, entre alagos y sonrisas mutuas, entre momentos compartidos, atenciones y actitudes que a ambos sorprendían, parecía que despertaba en mí algo que había muerto hace mucho, algo que pensé no volvería a conocer…una emoción nerviosa que producía alegría y deseo de conocer más.

Parecía que nuestra ésfera tenía algo, algo como un imán no sé que más parecido a ello podría ser pero queríamos estar cerca. Un abrazo, eso pediste….con un poco de temor, recuerdo, cruce mi brazo de tu cuello y el otro de tu espalda, rodeaste mi cintura con los tuyos, y no sé si era yo o eras tu pero el tiempo se detuvo, poco suele suceder eso pero en ese momento sucedió; mi mente pensaba que pasa?, porqué me abraza asi? Porqué siento algo diferente? Ni siquiera tengo un sentimiento que es esto?..... que pasa, porque no me suelta? Porque parece aferrarse de una forma como si…no esto no está bien-----sin embargo tampoco quería soltarte…vi tu rostro y percibí una mirada diferente, no era yo definitivamente estaba preparada para que mis emociones no trascendieran a un espacio donde no tenían lugar.. pero sin duda ese momento era distinto, t quedaste a mi lado por mucho tiempo, conversando y riendo de mis cosas y las tuyas rodeando mi cintura con tanta ternura y cariño, me diste un beso en mi frente, me abrazaste con tanta fuerza que no sabía si pensar que era cinismo o que tus emociones estaban confundidas; no podía pensar algo distinto y menos a mi favor, eso era imposible.

Mientras me abrazabas percibí que poco a poco te acercabas a mi rostro, no podía ser lo q pensaba…sin embargo me equivoqué porque sí intentabas besar mis labios….más se confundían mis ideas y con una sonrisa tímida vi tus ojos y te abracé, y a pesar que fuiste persistente no permití que hicieras algo de lo que después íbamos a arrepentirnos, al menos eso creí en ese momento que también tenías conciencia para arrepentirte (risas)..

Llamaste, esa noche llamaste, te escuchabas contento y me agradó escucharte.

Dijiste que mis abrazos eran únicos, que eran especiales, no dejaste de solicitarlos cada día….era una locura que me causaba gracia.

Te encontré, una semana después, estabas sólo en el mismo lugar donde me abrázate por primera vez, era inevitable no acercarme, cada día era evidente que nuestras presencias se atraían, deseaban estar cerca, hablar, escucharse, sentirse cerca y abrazarse..
Me senté a tu lado, cruzaste tu brazo hasta mi hombro y yo me apoye en el tuyo, que confortable era!...que tranquilo parecía olvidarse por un momento de todo…. Y que solo fueramos tu y yo.
Te abracé y me levante, sin embargo al hacerlo rodeé tu cuello con mi brazo y tomé tu mano con la mía, fue un gesto espontáneo, nada era parte de un plan o algo así, te solté y caminé hacia mi lugar mientras que tu te levantaste y me pediste que te abrazara una vez más……
Llegaste a mi lado, me hacías cosquillas, a veces te comportabas como un niño y era divertido ver tus locuras y ser parte de ellas, intenté devolverlas y corriste y cuando llegué a ti tomaste mis manos y te rodeaste de ellas, que lindo fue.

Mis pies parecían ya no estar sobre la tierra, pero hay que ser determinante en lo que se quiere en esta vida y no entregar los sentimientos y la emociones a la voluntad propia, sino a la que el ser supremo desea, y a pesar que todo parecía volverse una ilusión llena de detalles y algo diferente a lo que quizá estábamos acostumbrados…simplemente era un paréntesis inusual, un encuentro casual que no era voluntad de la vida ni del destino que tomara mas importancia de la que se merecía, y coloqué mis pies así como mis ideas y emociones en su lugar.

Lejanía, tu presencia la sentía y demandaba lo contrario, tus hechos delataban otra personalidad de tu parte, no la figura que de una u otra forma mi mente idealizó en un instante, como podías dirigirte a mí y tratar de acercarte más, querías escribir estrofas donde tus palabras no encajaban, -en un cuento de hadas no caben frases de terror, o en una película hecha para reír, tampoco caben imágenes para llorar- no podías escribir tu género junto al mío, no eran iguales.
Parecía que te inquietaba mi ausencia, hasta parecía desesperarte, -quizá eso me divertía- cada vez escribías textos adjudicándome más calificativos de lo normal, más interés que el usual; la frecuencia aumentaba cada día.

Juntos una tarde, te sentaste a mi lado, me abrazaste, y recuerdo haber pensado que podía ser la última vez que lo hiciera así, te abracé y me aferré a ti como nunca, pensé en que ese momento era mío y que iba a apreciarlo porque éramos los dos nada más y tendría que ser definitivamente la última vez..
Tierno, cariñoso, especial, expresivo, persistente, divertido, interesante, inteligente, creativo, detallista, y diferente…… uh! Apariencia o verdad, falsedad o realidad, quién sabe, en una situación distinta a lo mejor nunca hubieras notado mi presencia, nunca confié en las personas, todas traicionan cuando les conviene, agradeciste por esa tarde y desde ese día no contesté más a tus mensajes –creo que solo un domingo pero nada que no debía-.

Dos días antes de terminar un capítulo de tus escritos aun seguías escribiéndome cosas que no consideraba apropiadas…eso me hacía ver quien eras y desconfiar más de todas las personas, sabía que cuando regresaras de tu gira para empezar tu nuevo capítulo serías distinto, pero vaya sorpresa…. Parecía que no.

El alboroto de tus palabras guardaba la vulnerabilidad de tus emociones, la inmadurez de tus pensamientos, los comentarios que rodaban eran de tu inseguridad e indecisión, fuera como fuera éste espacio se convirtió en una enseñanza para mí, y a pesar de todo no fuiste un personaje principal en mi obra!, tienes un personaje secundario o terciario o quizá de esos dónde sólo es la multitud que ocupa un espacio para que las situaciones no se tornen vacías en medio de los fragmentos, sin duda un paréntesis que se cerró y que antecede a una larga y bella historia real!.

Double life: Self study

Nic didnt appear for the first period class. Josh was already planning in going to the infirmary to see if she was there due to the jump from the second floor that she had taken. He was getting up, already with the excuse in mind to tell the next teacher -since he was taking his time to get to the classroom- so that he could go to the infirmary. The door opened and there was Nic, her eyes glued to a book, he thought that she was definitely going to fall since she wasn't looking where she was walking but skilfully she walked between the desk rows without taking her eyes off of the book. She sat and kept reading.

“hey you!” Josh said.
“hello” she said still not lifting her eyes from the book.
Maybe she doesn't want to talk to me, he thought, yet he still talked to her once more.
“I was worried that you´d gotten hurt after jumping like that... I know now that the rules forbid girls in the boy´s rooms but, come on! you didn't have to jump off like that, you could have hurt yourself” She didn't answer to that, he got a little annoyed and said “is that why you have that bandage? are you always jumping off of windows?” She turned around to see him right to the eye. It was a very intense look that she had, it was almost as if she could drill a hole in his head. Josh blinked and fought the urge to lower his gaze.
“Give me my Math notebook, please”
“hey, don't get mad, I didn't mean to...”
“mh, just give me my notebook” she interrupted him. He handed her the notebook.
“can I have it again today? you seem quite distracted but your notes are very detailed I don't think I´d find anyone with such notes”
“is that how you ask for favors?” she said in her monotone voice while lifting one of her eyebrows
“I...”

The door opened while he was going to answer “saved by the door” he thought. It was the principal announcing the teacher was not coming and since they had the next two periods with him and they were before brake they had to go to the library to a self-study period. Everybody started to gather their things.

“ppffffttt are you kidding me? -Josh said- self study? who´d do that?” The principal was long gone when he spoke. He realized when he got to the library of the school that everybody was there and they were at least pretending to study. Nic was walking towards one of the stands. He went there.

“so will you, please, lend me your notes again?” She handed him her notebook. This means she´s not mad at me, Josh thought “how come everybody is here, it´s not like the principal will know they didn't come, there´s not even a teacher here to watch them”
“didn't you said that this was a strict school? if you know it, they must know it too, don't you think?” Nic said while looking at a book back-cover
“well, yeah... but no one´s here to watch if they study or not... or if they´re here”
“in the entrance there is this thing similar to those things that they use to pay with credit cards... you have to pass your school ID there since we´re all signed for self-study today and in your way out you´ll have to do it again. If you don't check in...they´ll know you didn't come”
“what?” his eyes were wide
“you´d better do it now, before you get written down for coming late” Josh ran to the library entrance. Nic went to the farthest part of the library, the third floor, hardly anyone went to that floor mainly because it only had individual tables and you couldn't talk there as in the floors below that had group tables.

When he came back to the place they had talked and he didn't find her there he decided to look for a place where he could copy her notes and actually understand them, after all it was math and he wasn't a genius, more like average. Math is hard for almost everybody. He took a chair in one of the long tables filled with students, they were quite behaved for what he had seen but even so they were quite loud, he could barely concentrate. He had enough when he realized the girls in front of him were staring at him, and then giggling. He smiled at first, they were good looking, he thought for himself but this was not time to be checking out girls, he had to study for that test and maybe for Aaron´s sake too, who knows if I had to explain this to him later, he thought . Aaron was very capable for math much more than Josh but he liked to procrastinate and his talent never got the chance to be nurture because of his lazy owner...in the end Josh had to explain it all to Aaron. It´s so unfair that you don't have to make any effort to understand this stuff and yet you do nothing, Josh used to complain when Aaron got better grades than him. “I'm sorry that you are a dummy” his twin said and playfully punched his arm.
It was too much distraction. He took his things and went to explore looking for a place with some peace. He got to the third floor and sat on one of the tables. At the end f the alley formed by two long cabinets full of books he saw a couple kissing. Seems like no one bothers you over here, he thought and started to write Nic´s notes on his own notebook. Her notes were neat, clean even though her hand writing wasn't so perfect, it seemed to curl in every possible curve, it was small but still easy to read. In some pages there were some drawings: moons, stars and some flowers as well, other than that it was a clean notebook. After a while he heard voices speaking loudlier than usual, he payed attention to them.
“you made me fall purposely!” Josh heard a familiar voice.
“it was an accident, however; I apologize...” another familiar voice said. He went to see. The voices came from two bookcases away. As he suspected, it was Aaron, his twin, and Nic. Aaron nose was bleeding. He was mad. She was seated on the floor. Rushing to them he talked to his twin.
“Aaron, what happened?”
“this stupid girl made me fall” he said motioning to Nichole.
“I didn't made you, you did that on your own” Nic said while she took her book again “you should go to the infirmary... you´re staining your uniform”
“Shut up, you little...”
“Aaron!” Josh stopped him “I´ll take you to the infirmary... “ they started to walk away.
“Do you know where is it?” Nic half smiled at the resemblance of the boys and the contrast in their characters. She got to her feet and walked pass them “follow me”

She was walking ahead of them by some steps, she walked fast and gracefully. “Stop staring at me” she said. Both boys startled since she had not even turned. They looked at each other. “Plus -she said nonchalantly- you should lift up your head to help stop the bleeding, else you might faint”. He did faint, gladly they were already at the infirmary. He had a broken nose.

“You broke my brother´s nose” Josh accused her after the school´s doctor gave the diagnosis.
“Seems like the accusatory tone comes in the family...”
“Well, you should apologize” Josh said a bit more calmed.
“I did, even though it wasn't my fault... you shouldn't run in the library...specially after girls”
“Was he chasing you?” Josh asked with his eyes wider. She laughed.
“No, he was after Michelle, I guess she had come after him but as she looked for him she saw me ...she lead him there though I think her intentions were not to brake his nose and lets hope she didn't mean for me to step on me <>” She rolled her eyes and turned to leave.
“Wait... I didnt know...”
“mh, exactly” she turned again and walked away, he ran after her.
“wait” she stopped and faced him “why are you always leaving like that?” she didnt say a thing for a moment.
“You should stay with your brother” she said after and kept walking.
“But my stuff and your notes are on the library and apparently Aaron´s too” She just slightly turned and lifted an eyebrow then left.
Josh watched her leave. “what a strange girl, he thought, but she´s right, I should stay with Aaron,after all I don't think they´ll throw away our stuff.... I´ll ask some note from the nurse...”

prove them wrong

He is just amazing!

Today, the principal of the school tell a student to forget of his dream of being a professional skater,she said not to lie to himself, she said not to think he´ll ever make any good of that. She said forget it because it is pretty much impossible. I felt bad. I didnt like her telling him that. It´s very unlikely to become professional in those sports but Idont think the way she said it was the best. I wish for him to actually become a professional in that. I know college and studies and a "serious" carreer is safer and somehow easier and more acceptable but still, why to shatter his dreams like that? she should´ve told him to try both things just in case.... the weirdest part is that while I was helping this other kid, in the afternoon, he said he wants to be a musician. I think he´s quite talented for that. What else do you want to be, I said, he had this homework where he had to compare his future profession to the most popular carreers in the job market... he wants to be a musician... I didnt wanted to tell him that´s impossible, maybe he can be the next great musician though I did told him that he needs to have a back-up, something to do in case he cant be a musician... you never know, as grandpa says you gotta learn as much a you can, it doesnt mean that´s what you are going to do for a living but it might help you to get where you want to get.... Anyway, I hope those two kids can prove the whole society wrong, I hope they prove they can... and probably this affected me more because I heard once those words comming from my own father´s mouth and I proved him wrong and that´s what I want for them... to prove others and themselve that they can do it if they set their minds on it.

Double Life: Breaking In

It was lunch time. The cafeteria was full. Aaron was in one of the tables with his new friends. He was even friendlier than Josh. He decided to go and eat somewhere else. He was still mad at Aaron for leaving him behind though there were no consequences.

The afternoon was free for him, so he decided to walk a bit to know the school and stop getting lost. There was a building different than the rest. There were murals, paintings and some things that seemed to be sculptures. He went in, there was the sound of music coming from the top floor. On the second floor he saw a shadow, he stopped to see, there was Nichole trying to lift a window pane.

When he got closer she was half-way in already.
“Are you fond of breaking the rules?” the girl didn’t say a thing only went in as if she hadn’t heard a thing. For some reason Josh went inside too, he closed the window after him. “So, why are you breaking in a classroom?” he asked.
“why are you breaking in a classroom?” she echoed him while taking some paint brushes from a tall wooden cabinet.
“I got lost” he said and smirked
“right, right, that´s getting old”
“does it hurt?” he asked looking at the bandages on her right hand. The corner of her mouth moved up a little, maybe it was a smile “right, that´s silly”
“There are some guitars in the cabinet” She took some paint with the tip of one of the brushes.
“I ...is it OK to take them? shouldn't we ask a teacher for it?”
“why are you so worried about that?” she said nonchalantly
“don't want to get kicked out of here too” he said taking out an acoustic guitar
“oh, so no one else wants you?... I think it´s cool that you are trying to change...”
“yeah...well... no one else wants Aaron Arlington to be precise and...I feel I should support my brother...”
“even if it means to be exiled from your family?” Josh wondered why her voice was so lacking of emotion while her eyes, though fixed on the paint she was painting, were so filled with it.
“not that I have one, you know... Aaron is my family, being exiled of my family would mean to be apart from him”
“wow” she said “I like that song” she added. Josh had started to play the guitar a while ago.
“so, we wont get into trouble right?” he said after a while. For some reason it felt good to be there with her in that empty room
“as long as they don´t find out you were here it´ll be fine” she said teasingly
“they´ll find out, don't you think they wont see that you have painted something?”
“yeah but they wont notice you playing the guitar unless you brake it” her monotone voice came back.
“you don't mind getting into trouble?”
“not really -she laughed when she saw his face- stop freaking out it´s not like they´d kick me out of here”
“but I have heard this is a very strict place, one thing and you´re out, isn´t that right?” She laughed
“you´re funny”
“is that funny? aren't you jut too carefree?” he was really concern. She laughed again
“come here, take a look at this” she said motioning for him to see the painting she was doing
“wow” he didn't know what else to say, it was a good painting but the theme wasn't what he had expected. She had painted a face, a head and from it a plant came out. It was scary. “what does it mean?”
“Ideas. Now if you really don't want anybody to see you here you should put that in it´s place -she pointed the guitar in his hand- and get out” he hurried to put the instrument away while she put the brushes in their place.

Josh and Nic left the building while he asked questions about the school.
“ah, by the way where´s this address?” Josh handed her a piece of paper.

They walked for a bit and then they finally got to the boy´s dorm, it was a big building with a fancy lobby and no one in the stand. Josh´s room was on the second floor at the end of the hall. They walked into the room, it had two beds at the end, a big window and two desks.
“this is nice” he said
“it is”
“Do you think I have a nice room-mate?”
“it seems you don't have one, this place seems too empty for someone else to live here”

Her phone rang, she answered it but didn't say a thing, just listened, her eyes made it seem like it was bad news she was getting since they became like ice. She hanged up at the same time they heard a man knocking on the door announcing he was the dorm´s leader.

“Gotta go” she said and walked the opposite direction of the door towards the window and very fluidly she jumped out of it. Josh ran towards the window but she was nowhere to be seen.

“enjoying the view?” the man asked. He seemed to be the kind of man that can be nice when you obey but can be very bad when you disobey.

“ah, yeah” Josh said still with wide eyes.

The man gave him a map of the school and other instructions. He also told him the rules of the place. No girls in the rooms was one of them.