Double Life: With Ease

I just loved this image -if it goes well w/this post or not... well... you can have your own opinion ´bout it. 

A/N: this is sort of bits of a day. uh, happy not-yet- birthday Saku ;)
************

His eyes were heavy with sleep. Josh opened his eyes and glanced to his alarm clock, it was almost five in the morning. He felt warm under the weight of blankets pulled all the way up to his nose. He looked for what had woken him up.

“Getting ready this early?” he said to his roommate who was sitting on his bed with his uniform on, his shirt wrinkled, obviously he´d been the reason for Josh waking up, he had just got in the room.

“Err… yeah…” he looked for his tie. Josh snickered and turned to the other side, as he did so, it hit him that Nichole had stayed the night; he quickly sat up looking around and to the side of his bed. The girl was gone.

“Are you ok, Josh?” his roommate asked with furrowed eyebrows, Josh turned to see him.

“Yeah…” he sighed and laid back down feeling his hand in a fist, he looked at it and found he was holding a piece of clothing, a dark knitted glove was in his hand, he extended the glove and tried to remember when he´d fallen asleep but he couldn´t pin-point the moment. He wondered when Nichole had gone away. Josh made a mental note to ask her about that and about the story he had clearly not heard. The rain kept hitting over Burgeoys, it was a soft rain that was nothing like the thunderstorm of the night before. Josh put the glove on the pillow beside his and closed his eyes, there was still time to sleep a little bit more before getting ready to do the finals.

**

“The place looks deserted” Josh commented as he and Nichole walked in the Students Common Room after their first test.

“Math is a scary subject, everybody´s busy going over that”

“Yeah…” Josh said as she turned on the T.V in front of them and started to flip channels until she got to an old silent cartoon show. She laughed quietly at it.

“Hey” Josh started when the show went to commercials

“Mmmh”

“I didn´t feel when you left last night” he said, she looked his way, her eyes were warm

“I know”

“I´m sorry”

“I’m not. I´m glad you got some good sleep” she smiled a little when she noticed a light blush coloring the boy´s cheeks

“I don´t remember the story you told me” he confessed, she stared at him and then chuckled

“You didn´t listen to it all, I´m not surprised you don´t remember, you were quickly asleep before I even got to the middle of it” she was still smiling with the side of her mouth

“I´m sorry”

“Don´t worry about it… Now, go over your math notes –she half smiled- want me to turn off the T.V.?”

“Ah, no, that´s ok, keep watching it” he said, she purser her lips a bit and turned it off, instead of it she took out her i-pod and resting her head on the back of the couch, she closed her eyes.

“Need any help?” she offered after a moment in silence. She could hear him going through the pages and using his eraser and how the back of his pencil was rubbed lightly against his forehead.

“Errr….” He hesitated

“Ha! I knew I´d find you here!”

“We should´ve gone somewhere else, Josh” Nichole said playfully with eyes closed

“You´re so mean, Nichole” Aaron said in the same playful manner as her “I need to see your notes, Josh, I´m missing a few classes and I have to copy them because our crazy teacher will grade our notebooks” he grumbled

“You´d make a good tutor” Aaron said an hour later, they´d been studying together.

“And you make a bad student” she gave him a smile, he looked up at her with narrowed eyes

“You have a beautiful smile” his eyes went back to normal as he observed her

“I know” she answered with the same studied smile she had given him

“You should smile more, you look less like you don´t want to be talked to” Aaron tilted his head to a side a little

“The more reason to not do it” she went back to her expressionless face. Aaron shook his head and went back to copying her notes.

***

“I have your schedules to present your projects –The art teacher started once everyone had gathered around his desk- once I give you your time you can go and finish working on them, either here or out –he looked at Nichole- I´m sure all of you are pretty much done –he looked at them all, some nodded some looked down- you can also show me what you got for suggestions just like we´ve been doing this lasts weeks –all the students nodded- ok, we´ll start earlier, at three o´clock, you´ll have thirty minutes to present both of your finished works. Any questions? –Mike looked at them all but no one asked a thing- ok, then, Joshua and Nichole, you´ll be first –they both nodded- Maya and Jonah…”

Nichole stood up, took her bag and drawing pad and headed out the room. Josh was behind her.

“I thought you´d stay in the art room today”

“And I thought you wouldn´t stare at me walking by now…”

“I was not…” he started, she looked over at him “how do you even know?!” he looked to a side but she gave him a genuine smile as he caught up to him.

“It was its purpose…” there was a hint of annoyance in her tone, his eyes were wide

“You walk like that to be seen?” he hesitated to ask

“If I wanted you to see me I wouldn´t have to walk like this”

“…” he opened his mouth to talk but he didn´t say a thing.

“I was taught to walk this way” she explain nonchalantly

“To be seen…?”

“Yeah, that´s what it was”

“Why would you want that?”

“I don´t but now I can´t help it”

“Who taught you anyway?” he furrowed his eyebrows

“The same person that taught me all other things”

“Why would your family want you to be seen like that?” he couldn´t comprehend why someone would do that

“I… sometimes –she exhaled a tiny sigh- is helpful to know all those things”

“When does walking that way was useful?”

“Many times… but –there was that tiny almost imperceptible sigh again- I´ve only liked it once…”

“When…?”

“A while ago, Josh… but now I am thinking on two things, one, I´ll just run away from you or, two, I´ll tell you that I have to be alone to finish my project about you, so, which one it´ll be?” she grinned and he chuckled

“I also have to finish doing tomorrow related things” his eyes were calm

“That was easy” she raised an eyebrow

“I´m not a difficult person”

“True, a bit annoying though” she smiled, he narrowed his eyes

“I am not. You said so yourself”  he crossed his arms with a smug expression, her smile grew a little

“Ok, later, Josh”

“Nichole, wait!” he called louder as she was walking away, she turned around, he walked towards her, his hand in the pocket of his blazer. “Here” he gave her black knitted glove

“Oh” she took it

“You left it in my room”

“I had to, you wouldn´t let go of me”

“I´m sorry” he looked down

“Don´t worry” she tugged at his tie “It´s ok” she lightly rubbed his arm “I had fun” and with that she walked away.

Untouched

You´re too fresh on my mind

and it´s been so long

just when I thought 

the feel of your embrace was a healed wound

it still burns as it did when your arms were around me

but the cold edges make me shiver in pain...

I bet I still fit inside your embrace

I know your arms are still perfect 

There´s no doubt that no matter how hard I try

everything´s placed right where you left it

real, exciting,scary and unique

only you could paint me that...

A day goes by and I convince myself it´s all gone

Another day and I know it´s still there

paralizing my heart, 

stopping my life

but my heart´s still beating

and I keep adding days....

It all changes but the space left by you.

You appear at the most random times

yet you´re always there

lingering around me, inside me

your warthm hasn´t left me

scars are open wide

they were never closed

how I miss you

you´re never there, 

not a single of your fingers ever touched me

how can someone get so deep in you without even touching you?

Hope is your color

Who you are?
And
Why do you stay?
Can´t you recognize a monster when you see it?
Light and darkness walking hand by hand
I´m afraid darkness will engulf you
Hope is your color
Peaceful stare melting ice
Going right through my lies
open heart shattering walls
Healing wounds, carving new
Are you really staying?
Do you know how I am?
The monster will eat you up
and feed me the pain of your eyes
guilt´s too heavy on my shoulder
Gods can´t lift it
How could an angel do it?

***
Ok, this was my first attempt at doing a poem for one of my characters. Nic volunteered haha this time it was like I saw through her eyes instead of just being there and telling the story as I always do. Ok, anyway, I don´t know if this is good or not but there´s one line that I really like about this one.

Neutrality

This is an essay made by a friend of mine. It´s for a class he has and is based in some sort of handouts. I think it´s pretty interesting, mainly because I had never really thought of this until last night that I read this and it made me think of a few things. Mainly on how sometimes we all just stay quiet to not  get in trouble or to not support one or the other but... is that the best? I´ve been thinking of a few situations in which maybe it´s not so good to just stay quiet.

What´s interesting, as well, is that the author of this essay says he doesn´t completely agree with what´s in it and I find that, in a way, to be a good thing because the examples are pretty powerful and convincing, so I think he did pretty good.

It was thought provocking, so I´m posting it. -also because I can, ha!

**

Neutrality by Matt D.

Neutrality, the basis of being neutral towards conflict or decision. What is neutrality and what does it mean to you? When we compare neutrality to equality, both terms seem to collide with one another. You cant be neutral and also solidify equality because it would mean “ignoring personal context” of each individual which defeats the purpose of equality. In order for neutrality to be seen as a positive than a negative, the decision will have to justify the ending result.

Leaders who have power, often hinder the public’s decision by manipulating them with lies. There capable of anticipating what people want to hear and deliver the message in a way that it makes sense to the common citizen. Society is “dominated by their immediate desires” often too ignorant to look beyond the obvious truth. Those who comprehend what's happening are purposely keeping quiet. To them, neutrality is a motto, but fail to see that “..neutrality is nothing more than official indifference. Indifference always benefits the aggressor, never the victim.”

When Hitler came to power, he spread antisemitism all across Germany, in means to genocide the Jewish population, along with a few other minority groups. Switzerland vigorously enriched their pockets with money, using the simple term “Neutrality” as their excuse to blockade Jewish from shelter and reinforcing Hitlers troops. Spain, Brazil, Turkey, Portugal and a few other countries used the same excuse, allowing the cremation, torture and dehumanization of millions of people.

In the book “Night By Elie Wiesel” the author describes the amusement of the common Germans when they throw pieces of bread into the wagon there traveling on as the devastated Jews would brawl to the death for a piece of bread. All turned a blind eye on the perversion of the Nazi party. Engulfed by the lies fed to them by Hitler, Germans view Jewish as filth, some of them stand up for the Jews but met their graves sooner than planned. Neutrality and submission became a must in order to survive during World war II. In conclusion, neutrality is driven by fear, when people are capable to stay neutral to abhorrent man made calamities, neutrality becomes nothing but a cowardly decision.

arrrrghhh

I´m so mad at myself -lately it seems I´m mad at myself a lot but that´s another topic- I rant day and night about me being sick and I forget my doc´s appt!!! damn!! it was an important appt!!! >_< how did I let this happen?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Double Life: Dream Catcher

It said "viona art" so I assume that´s the person who did this beautiful image.

A/N: the double for tonight´s double post. I wonder if it´s better to have two short parts or just one long one. This also has a song, the song´s like what Nic feels, I think, she doesn´t look like it right?

***

“I know you hate that I leave my bag and karate stuff on the floor but I´m so tired right now…” Josh threw his bags on the floor followed by his karate belt and the shoes he was wearing. He looked up to his roommate desk, his eyes catching a figure sitting on his bed, eyes looking at him, his eyes were wide.

“You can keep doing that” she motioned to his karate robe half way down his arms; he smiled nervously as he shook his head. He looked at his roommate bed again.

“Don´t worry, he´s with Lex for the night” she informed him, he smiled as she shook his head again, going to his closet to get a white cotton t-shirt. He sat on his bed, opposite to Nichole.

“How was the match?” she asked

“It was good, I had fun, and a lot of people were there”

“Did you win?” she asked, he shook his head with a small smile tugging at his lips “You don´t care about that, do you?”

“Winning is not all that matters” his green eyes seemed to smile

“I´m sorry I couldn´t go”

“That´s ok”

“I got two things for you to make it up for that”

“You do?” his eyes lit up, it was as if they spoke all his thoughts

“I do”

“What is it?” he asked when she didn´t say anything else.

“Since I didn´t get to see you fight, I´ll fight you –she winked- and I´ll let you win” she started with a serious tone but ended up chuckling, he laughed

“I would never fight you”

“Girls are weak?” she raised her eyebrows

“I know you are not weak, I´ve seen you but I just couldn´t think of hurting you”

“Such a good boy” she gave him a little smile

“What is the second thing?” he asked. She reached for her backpack on the floor, she opened it and gave him a container

“Is this a…”

“Yup, it´s a lamb”

“Where would you get this?” he picked one of the tiny marshmallows that made up the lamb

“I made it”

“You bake?”

“Is it that surprising?” she made a face

“Actually it is” he said and she laughed

“I know”

“What else can you do?”

“Just cupcakes and apple pie”

“I didn´t know you liked cooking” he took a bite of the cupcake “this is good”

“I don´t like it and thank you”

“Then?”

“A few years ago I realized following a recipe is not that hard and I did say it was to make it up to you” she said, he smiled.

“Have you eaten?” she raised an eyebrow at his question “You tend to miss meals”

“Are you keeping tabs on me?”

“If you are not taking care of you, then yes”

“Why?”

“What do you mean, why? Why not?”

“Ok, ok and yeah, I did have dinner tonight”

“What did you have?”

“Spaghetti”

“There was no spaghetti in the cafeteria tonight”

“I didn´t eat there, I ate out”

“ok” he said, she tilted her head. Wind started to blow harder.

“Here” she handed him a small box

“What´s this?”

“A dream catcher”

“You bought me this?”

“No, it was given to me by the friend I visited today. Maybe it´ll work for you”

“Are you sure you want to give me this?” he asked, rain had started to fall

“I wouldn´t be giving it to you if I wasn´t”

“Thank you” he reached for her hand

“Gotta go, Josh”

“You can stay” his voice was drowned by the drops hitting every surface

“I can’t. I´m not getting near Lex’s guy bed” she wrinkled her nose, he chuckled

“You can take mine, you seem tired”

“Oh, thank you, I put extra effort in getting ready to see you” she rolled her eyes

“I don´t mean it that way”

“If I stay, I won´t sleep at all”

“Ok –he sighed- just wait for the rain to pass”

“I´ll stay a while” but it won´t stop raining tonight she said to herself

“Ok” he got out of the bed towards his closet. A thunder was heard and then the lights went off. The only sound heard was the rain and the hard wind against the windows

“Only in the hallways there are emergency lights” she said taking out her flashlight, more thunders were heard “It´ll get colder, do you have extra blankets?” he nodded and bent to the drawer at the bottom of his closet.

“Come here –she patted the other side of the bed- I´ll tell you a story” she smiled but he didn´t see it. He got in the bed giving her the extra blanket, she covered her shoulders with it and then reached for the dream-catcher to hung it on his lamp

“What´s the story about?” he asked, she chuckled

“You gotta tell me how the match went, first” she had a smile on her voice. 

Double Life: Lamb and Wild Flowers

I think I like this one, I hope it makes sense because there´s a lot of flash backs. Also, this one comes with a song. Lola´s favorite -Lola is Ash´s grandma. 

This one´s a little bit short but it´ll b double post tonight -I hope

***

After a silent lunch on the orchard with Josh he went away to his last karate class, he seemed a little disappointed of her denial but he was not going to make her not go to see that dead friend of hers, he would´ve joined her but he knew she valued solitude as well. He knew that she wouldn´t do something that she didn´t want to. “Good luck” she smiled her half smile to him as he waved good bye.

Nichole walked in the forest following the river, as she went by she picked wild flowers and when she got to the place where she saw Ash for the first time she stopped, his presence untouched in her mind. She looked at the place and her eyes saw his smirk, and she half-smiled for his ghost. She stepped into the river; there was a line of rocks in the middle. Ash had crossed over it the first time he´d gone closer to her, after a long while of just a few words. He´d purposely taken slow steps, like she was doing now, he had stopped in each stone to watch her and she´d completely ignored his gaze, focusing on the book on her hands.

“That book must be really good” he´d commented once he crossed and was on the grass, she´d paid him no attention. He sat a few feet away, opposite to her, she spared him a look. “I couldn´t ignore you if not for an amazing good book…” he raised an eyebrow, the look in his eyes playful, she stared at him and he offered a smug smile. “No, not even then, I´d ignore you” he said tilting his head to a side.

“Does that line even work?” she asked, his expression was blank for a moment as if that wasn´t what he´d expected but then he laughed and his laugh was contagious, it made Nichole put her book over her smile and now as she was on the other side of the river she let her smile be seen by his memory.

She walked with a quick pace through the woods, once she reached the edge of it, she stood watching the scattered housed at the other side of the road. She crossed the street and walked down it to an abandoned garden, a thick layer of dust covered a wooden house. She hadn´t been there since Ash had died. She took half of the flowers of the bunch she´d picked and laid them on the back entrance of the small house. She´d never gone in the house through the main entrance, mostly because since Ash´s grandma died he hadn´t used that door either.

“Let´s dance, kitten” he´d made her put her arms on his shoulders

“No, Ash” she lightly pushed him by his shoulders but his arms were secured around her waist. Old music was playing loudly in the house. It was early in the evening.

“Come on, kitten, we´re celebrating” he started singing “You know what? You´re so lovely and oh, what you do to me. I´m like an ocean wave that´s bumped on the shore…”

“What are we celebrating?” she interrupted his singing, he seemed happy but not really

“Lola´s birthday” he kept singing the old song, she got close and hugged him feeling a lump on her throat, it had only been a couple of weeks since his grandma had passed away. He had hugged her back. She focused on the music and started to dance, Ash´s eyes went wide.

“You can dance, kitten” he said surprised

“Had dance lesson” –to make me a better monster, she kept that to herself. He chuckled

“Lola- his grandma- taught me how to-he said this as the vinyl record changed to a slower song- she loved Frank”

“I want to dance with you, Ash” Nichole said lying on top of the grass covered place where Ash had been buried.

“I miss you Ash” she whispered, a tear staining her cheeks.

“I missed you so much, kitten” Ash said. She’d gone away of Burgeoys for the end of the school year vacation. She said nothing. “I thought you might have gone over me” he continued. She´d gone to the woods, to the place they had met. It was the first day of classes again.

“Are you over me?” he´d asked, she´d stared and slowly shook her head no. his smile was bright. “I thought about you a lot…” he confessed confident, she stared at him. “Did you think of me at least once…?”

“Isn´t that a bit corny?” she raised an eyebrow, he laughed

“Very” he shrugged

“I did”

“You´re a mean kitten” he had a bright smile

“I am a wild cat, after all” she shrugged with a half-smile, he took walked closer to her, he took her gloved hands and kiss them both, his eyes fixed on her eyes.

“Your name suits you, Ashley” she half smiled and he narrowed his eyes, faking anger

“Unmanly?” he raised both his eyebrows

“Old fashioned” she winked

“I thought a lot about you, Ash” Nichole murmured to the earth that hugged Ashley´s remains.

“Do you like lambs?” she said as the Ashley of her memory said it too. She sat up and took a bag out of her backpack; she put a single cupcake with the form of a lamb made of tiny white marshmallows on top over the grass where he rested. He had taught her how to bake them in an attempt to cheer her up, he hadn´t known that a week like that Miriam had died. Nichole talked to Ashley´s ghost for a long while, until the sun set and even after that.