DL-cover

My sweet sweet friend made something that I really love. I really wanted to post it here, I´m glad she let me. It´s her idea of a cover for DL if it were to be published.
I´m very glad that you took the time to make this one, Saku

what is it?

what is it about me?
bipolar reactions that I´ll never understand
like this poem of the medieval times
not once the desired outcome is what I get
my promise to myself, was it feasible?
no matter what I say, the memory still calls my heart
am I pulling you down?
your warning´s all that I see, ignore it my gut says
my mind and heart are at war
are yours too?
what is it about me?
believe me, I will never understand
like the quote about love and loving, what you want and what I want
how does it feel? the song said, one that I sang for you all alone
not nice, that´s how but I heard your advice
practical, straightforward and harsh, painful in all its purpose
always in the middle, huh? there but not quite
let me drown, pull me up
you´re always in me, never here
I´m a ghost just like you, just like you
what is it about you?

Double Life: cover?

Ok, so I was thinking about what I´d like to have in DL if it was a book,  and well... this is what I came out with ...NOt was good as I wanted but .... well, just an idea

Double Life: Running up that hill

This song is the one I´ve been listening for DL since after what happened with Alexander all the way to the end... but perhaps specially in thevery last post ---I thought I had posted this song in here

Double Life: Hide and Seek

A/N: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh this is over! it´s so weird that despite having four different oportunities to let go of this story (1.when I first saw the ending in my head, 2. when I wrote the ending in my notebook, 3. when I typed the ending into my laptop and 4. right now) everytime it feels like the first time... wow, I guess, I´ll say good bye Nic and Josh you two were great, you feel real to me, I wish there was a way that I could publish this story because I really like it.

There´s a few side-stories, ff, about this one so there´ll b a bit more DL after this and ofc the epilogue that for the looks of it will b a bit long idk

oh!! Josh´s handwriting in this post is literally a Josh handwriting, it´s the handwriting of one of  my fav authors, Josh Sundquist. Btw, I didnt know about Josh Sundquist when I named my other main character Josh, that was a coincidence, a good one

I nervous... 

*****

"Hello, Josh!" A happy voice greeted him, a lady behind her

"Hello, Camille, how are you?" he was sat on a bench under a tree near the entrance of the ballet school the little girl went to

"Good, how....?"

"Mii, you forgot your sweater!" A vice said, he looked up, the woman looked as surprised to see him as he knew he seemed, she walked to them "Mii, you´ll be late" she prompted the girl to go

"Bye, Josh" Camille said, the lady looked at the woman who said "it´s ok" and they both left, leaving Josh and the woman

"Joshua Arlington i had never expected to see you here" the woman spoke with surprise but in a friendly tone

"Same to you, Mrs. Strasberg" he said only barely politely, the woman chuckled

"I highly doubt that this is a coincidence... Were you going to ask Camille about..?"

"I thought of it, yes"

"How do you even know this -Nat started but interrupted herself with a laugh- Nichole brought you here, didn’t she? She showed you this place, right?" she asked, he said nothing

"Geez! You two do know how to keep secrets!" she exclaimed "right under my nose!"

"She didn’t go back to Burgeoys" Josh said

"No" the woman sighed

"Is she...?"

"I don’t know" she said he raised both his eyebrows in a quick motion, she shook her head and sat next him; he slid away

"You two haven’t talked? -She asked, he said nothing- well, I guess you´re here for that... You know I don’t like you as you don’t like me but she showed you this place, it was you who probably brought her here when I failed to do it, for that I thank you and to show my gratitude, I´ll tell you that she won’t come. I don’t know where she is but I do know she´s not in the country. She speaks to Camille every day, I can ask her to give her a message"

"Not in the country" Josh repeated incredulous

"You can ask Camille" Nat offered. He stood up "Do you want me to tell her you´d like to speak to her?" she offered, he turned to see her, brow furrowed

"I want to change" she shrugged “should I, then? The message?"

"I wouldn’t mind" he finally said and walked away

"Wait!" Nat called out, he stopped, and she came to him "you left school without permission didn’t you?"

"None of your business" he said she laughed quietly

"Her phrases got stuck on you, huh? But didn’t she tell you the woods were dangerous? Because there´s no way you came out the front door, with the time it is, you´ll have to walk in the dark ´cause you won’t get a cab to drive you to the entrance. There are snakes there, you know, she has an amazing sight but it´s creepy there at night -she said he shrugged- I´m trying to be good here, cooperate" she rolled her eyes

"I don’t know what you want me to tell you"

"Take my car" she handed him the keys, he took a step back

"No way" he said she rolled her eyes

"I promise her I wouldn’t harm you... she doesn’t know I saw you but I think letting you go like this sis not keeping my promise. Take my car, leave it on the trail where I..." Nat cleared her throat

"Where you kidnapped me" he said, she sighed

"Yea... I´ll send someone to pick it up tomorrow"

After some thought he did take it, he knew she was right, it´d be really dark in the woods when he returned. All the way he felt paranoiac, though, that Nat would do something. He was on edge until he finally jumped the stone wall. He´d left the keys where she´d instructed, he got to his room after dinner

"Where were you?" Aaron asked

"Swimming with sharks" he said opening his desk drawer and taking out a chocolate bar

"Right" Aaron said with chuckle, Josh plopped on his bed chewing hi chocolate "since when do you like chocolate?" Aaron inquired, Josh shrugged "give me some" he asked, Josh threw him the one he was eating

"This one´s eaten!"

"Want it or not?"

***************

I´m sorry about everything

Happy birthday, Nichole

Josh typed as he entered the auditorium where all Burgeoys seniors were being called to get their High school diploma

"Joshua!" he heard and angry whisper from one of the teachers, he looked to her, she angrily pointed to his phone, he sighed and hit the send button just as her name would´ve been called.

Chiming bells sounded as Nichole got closer to her destination, she took the phone out of her pocket, she considered ignoring it like she'd done with those couple of "can I talk to you?" texts that  she’d gotten in that first month after Alexander and Karl´s death. She sighed and opened the text. She closed her eyes and looked back to the woods on the hill at her back. The school on the top was hidden by the tall trees but she knew somewhere there was a boy somewhat linked to her by tragedy, a boy of deep green eyes and honest thoughts that she wished had never crossed her path. She turned again and walked ahead towards the graveyard she´d been walking to, the trees had gotten gibber, the grave; the stone that marked it was pretty much hidden now.

"Hello, Ashley" she said and was startled by the sight of a cupcake on top of it, she lift it, there was a post it on the side of it.

"FOR THE BIRDS. IT´S THEIR BDAY TOO" the note said in Josh´s round capital letters. Nichole shook her head but the smile that she tried to supress had made its way on her face

"Did he tell you he´s graduating today, Ash?" she put the cupcake back and turned again towards the place where Burgeoys was.

"Congratualtions, Joshua" she said above a whipser as swiftly waked away from the graveyard.

The end 

DoubleLife: Forgotten

 A/N: DL´s over today! I hope you dont hate me because ofthe ending ha!

*****

"What is it, Mii?" Nichole asked to her little sister who was sitting on the bed of her bedroom

"Nothing" the little girl looked down with a frown

"Do you miss father?" Nic asked throwing an arm around the little girl; she´d liked spending the week and a half with her sister

"Yes" the little girl murmured

"I´m sure he misses you too" she said, Mii nodded "is there something else baby?" she inquired, the little girl was silent for a while "you can tell me anything"

"Daddy used to say that"

"Well, yes, he is your dad, you could trust him"

"No, he said that I could tell you everything"

"Really? ... Well, I´d like it if you told me what´s wrong to help you make it better"

"I want to stay with you" the little girl threw her arms around her older sister

"aw, baby, you know ,we still have a couple more days to bet together and then I´ll ask your mom if you can stay a couple more days before going to school Is that alright?" she said the girl nodded but looked somewhat sadder

"Mmm you miss school, don’t you?" she smiled to Camille

"A little only"

"Do you miss your friends?"

"Only a little"

"Then?"

"I want to stay with you..." the little girl sobbed

"Mii, dear... oh, you miss ballet school, don’t you?"

"Yeah" the little girl admitted

"That´s ok, you are going back to school on Monday, three more days only"

"But then you´ll leave"

"Well... I can’t stay at your house -the little girl sobbed more- but I´ll visit you"

"I´ll miss you"

"I’ll call you every day, how’s that? And you can call me whenever you want, I´ll leave my number to Celia so when you want to talk to me you can call me"

"But daddy always said you were busy"

"I won’t be busy for you"

"Daddy said you had a lot to do in your school"

"But not anymore. I promise I´ll answer your call and I will say good night to you every night"

"Pinky promise?" the little girl extended her pinky, Nic chuckled

"Yes" she promised and hugged her sister

*************************

"Did your mother tell you that your friend Nichole is our business partner now, Josh?" Erick said during the family dinner, it was the weekend after the first week they had gone back to Burgeoys. The had taken a week off from school after their grandfather´s funeral

"Yeah" he said. Maggie had told him the Monday they had gone back to school

"Is she back? What does she say?" Maggie asked

"She´s not back"

"Did you see Nic at the meetings dad?" Aaron asked

"No, she had someone to represent her, a Mr. Gibson, very professional; I think she chose well, she´s too young to deal with such company"

"Yeah, she should stay in school... -Maggie said thoughtful- probably that´s why she hasn’t return to school"

"Yeah" Josh said

"I would´ve never imagined she was related to Mr. Duchene!" Aaron said "Ashley says it was such a surprise for them that he left her everything..."

They kept talking but Josh didn’t listen, he kept thinking on the man Alexander had been to, on the man Karl had been to Nichole and on the part he had taken in her life without him knowing. He also saw in his mind the cold eyes when she gave him the journal; she surely hated him and his family or maybe just him...

The Monday after that weekend, Nichole didn’t come back. A month later he found out her room had been given to other students. Aaron asked a couple of times if he´d heard of her but he never had.

The next month after that, on the day he´d met her, the day he´d first gotten to Burgeoys he decided he had to speak to her, to thank her maybe and apologize on behalf of Alexander and of himself. He´d known that he wanted to but that list at the end of the journal scared him. He kept hearing her voice whenever he thought of the journal, it had been a relief to take it away from his room once Aaron move in there, at first because he didn’t want Aaron to find it and then because it had been along with her drawings, a constant presence, the names, her voice telling him he didn’t know who she was or telling him she was a monster.

Aaron had often joked that he´d become like his girlfriend after that first month he spent more time on his own, in Burgeoys greenery and in the Art Club room though he´d wanted to quick and he´d been scared of finding Nat hidden in the trees with her silver gun ready to put him on that list of names. No one had said it but he knew his parents had done everything possible to move Aaron to his room because of those habit changes but he was grateful because that first month the nightmares had been relentless and some rain made it worst and he didn’t want anyone to witness his night terrors and slight panic attacks.

Double Life: Fool

A/N: oh my!! I think there´s only like two more posts for this one to end T_T besides the epilogue thingy that I still need to type into Word but ...with my record that might take years...

anyway! double post!! n as always tons of mistakes there...well, Im a bad writer, you know that already

ah, this part was one that I wanted to change but this one character was stubborn, he didnt care to explain his reasons, he doesnt care if he´s the second most hated character, he kinda likes that...

*******

"Where are you going?" Camille sat up on the bed, her hair messed from being on her pillow, she´d woken up when Nichole sat on the bed to tie her sneakers

"Mii, did I wake you up?"

"No -she said with a pout- but you´re leaving"

"But I´ll be back"

"Really?" the little girl said with incredulity

"Yes -she smiled- and now that you´re up you´re having breakfast with me" she touched the tip of her little sister´s nose with the tip of her index finger

"Are you really coming back?" the little girl asked as Nichole, Natasha, Ashley, Jess and their mom left

"Yes, Mii, I told you, I´m staying the two weeks here with you, if you stay in here, of course"

"I´ll stay" the little girl said decisively

"Camille, it´s getting late, let us go" Camille´s mom said in an exasperated tone "be a good girl with Celia. No candies, ok?"

 "Yes mom" the girl looked down

"Bye, baby" Nic bent to say on Mii´s ear and put a tiny lollipop in her little hand, the kid giggled

*********

Nichole, this is Mr. Galvin, Karl´s lawyer" Nat introduced a middle aged man in an expensive suit to Nichole

"She´s Nichole Cristales" Nat motioned to Nic; there was recognition in the man´s eyes

"Mrs. Cristales. Good to meet you" he said, Nic nodded, "Ash, Jess, Ms. Duchene" he greeted the others, they kissed his cheek in greeting

"Hello, Tom -Ms. Duchene said- it´s so sad to see you in such a tragic moment"

"yes, my condolences to all of you -he smiled politely- Karl left a video for all of you to see, so, we´re watching that first and then we´ll take it from there" he said and pushed a button in the remote control in his hand, a projector show Karl´s office in Crystals house with him in his des, in the video there was silence for a moment. Ash, Jess and their mom started to sob

I never wished for any of you to see this video so soon -Karl started- but perhaps- he turned over a cup of coffee in his desk- it´s for the best. I lament that I´m not going to see my daughters grow -his wife sobbed more- I´ll miss my baby a lot. I have left another video that my lawyer will provide for when she´s older -he tapped his fingers on his desk and then leaned back on his chair, subtly his demeanor changed his yes changed, both Nichole and Nat knew that face- down to business -he said then, in that voice filled with authority that he had- To Ashley and Jessica Perry, my wife´s daughters, I leave your education, all the rest of your school and five years of college will be given to you, if you girls don’t go to college, well... -he shrugged- you wasted what I had left for you. Besides that, only the car that you share is yours, don’t expect any vacations, allowances, money for parties or shopping trips from me, not anymore" he said, the girls immediately gasped, stopped sobbing and looked at each other and then at their mother that with gesture asked them to remain calm

"Natasha -he continued- you´ve been with me and Miriam since the beginning and you´re a master mind but you´ll have nothing from me -he said and Nat chuckled shaking her head- you´ve received enough as if it -of course, Nat mouthed- but -he said and his eyes seemed to soften- I do ask that you take care, keep an eyes on my girls, will you?"

"Of course" Nat said to the video

"Wife -he said and his demeanor went back to that in business state- we had a great time together, didn’t we? -his wife nodded as she sobbed some more- You made Camille possible -he smiled- and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heard and because of that I want you to have a comfortable living, you get to keep the first apartment I bought for you, your car, no driver, and one hundred thousand dollars a year" he paused, she gasped and stood up

"That is outrageous! -She exclaimed looking at tom- I was his wife! I´m entitled to all that he had!"

"I´m sure that you won’t like it -the video continued- don’t make a scene, we had a pre-nup, it clearly stated that you had to remain faithful something you haven’t done. Tom will hand you an envelope with pictures of you and at least two other men. Did you think I didn’t know?"

The lawyer pushed a yellow envelope to her; she only looked at it with a place face and sat. Nat covered her mouth to stifle a laugh

"I´m no longer paying for your lover´s vacations darling -the video continued- they´ll have to work- the man exhaled and relaxed in his chair, a tiny smile on his face- Camille -his smile was completely visible now- my baby gets half of everything I own except Crystals house, her tutor is to manage it all until she turns twenty"

Ms. Duchene lifted her head, color returning to her

"Her tutor and guardian is my eldest daughter -he cleared his throat, three gasps from the women were heard- my niece, Nichole Cristales who is to inherit the other half of my belongings, investments and properties as well as Crystals house. -H e pause for a long moment- Nichole, I know I have no right of asking anything but I ask you to take care of Camille, I want you to keep her safe and happy I want you to give her everything that I won’t be able to give her, I want you to be there for her like what I didn’t do for you. I won’t ask you to do it for me, I don’t deserve it but I ask you to do it for your little sister and for your mother. You’re smart, I know you won’t let them down" he smiled.

Ms. Duchene had stood up, her face red

"My will is final. I am 100% sure of what I´ve said and that is all I have to say. Nichole, my lawyer will give you an account of all that is yours and Camille´s minus my widow and her children´s gifts, to you and only you he can disclose information unless you decide otherwise. You and only you Nicky, as always are the only one that I can trust. You and only you, have my all" in the video he stared at the camera and then it went black.

"You are not getting my daughter!" Ms. Duchene shouted at Nichole "and you are not getting what belongs to me! I´ll fight this will. Tom! She isn’t eve Karl’s daughter and Camille´s mine, he can’t decide, dead or not who can have my kid!"

"Ms. Duchene -the lawyer said trying to calm her down- you gave up your parental rights, remember, legally, Karl Duchene had all parental rights over Camille and now he has the right to leave her custody to his heiress"

"But that's not possible! I had the child!"

"Yes, but you also gave her up"

"Well, I change my mind, there´s something I can"

"No, I´m sorry, your signature can’t be removed now"

"Shut up! You´re my lawyer, you´re supposed to help me not give her ideas!"

"I´m sorry but now I´m Mrs. Cristales lawyer, that´s how Karl arranged it"

"Then, I´m calling Marylyn!"

"Sherry -Nat said- all of them are with Nichole now... I doubt t you could afford them now, you know they´re..."

"You too, Natty? -She gasped -You- she pointed an accusing finger to Nichole who remained in her seat motionless and in silence- what did you do to him? You´ve always been meddling in my life and..."

"I have a deal for you" Nichole interrupted Sherry

"I want no deal with you!" she shouted

"Be quiet and listen now!" Nichole commanded the wife sat, she heard his husband´s words and felt his presence in the girl and that made her stunned enough for Nic to continue “I don’t want to take Camille from you, you’re her mother no matter who you are and she loves you. She already lost a parent, she won’t lose the other, so she´s staying with you, you can choose any house you want to live in, I will see that you have your precious lifestyle as long as Camille is safe and happy. I agree with father though, your lovers should work if they want to have luxury vacations with you. I won’t tell you to stay alone for her but under no circumstance she should see a parade of men in her home or bad influences, that´s one of my conditions, the other is that I´ll get to see her, and spend time with her whenever I want" Nic finished

"She´s mine and what he left to you should be Camille´s only" Sherry said but it was less forceful

"Ashley and Jessica can keep their lifestyle too and I´ll see that they get their money wither they go to college or not, they can dilapidate it immediately if they want" Nic bargained

"Really?" the two girls said with interest, Nic nodded "our vacations abroad too?"

"Yes, and your allowance, shopping trips too... under a budget of course"

"How much?" Ashley asked

"Whatever you spent on your last trip once every month"

"I´m satisfied" Jess said when Ash looked at her

"I´m happy with that mom- Ash said- It´s a good deal"

"Girls! -the woman scolded but satisfaction was written in her eyes too- this is not how it is supposed to be but I don’t want Mii to be seeing family fights after Karl´s death, so I´ll agree to it for her"

"One more thing -Nic added- someone will be around to make sure all of you are keeping the deal, that you are keeping Mii from bad influences, from sadness and danger"

"You´ll live with us?" Jess asked wrinkling her nose

"NO, Natasha will be checking that you keep the deal, she´ll also provide the money to you. Do we have a deal?"

"Mrs. Cristales, I advise you make a legal document of your deal" the lawyer interjected

"Yes, I think it’s a good idea" she agreed

"Ok, then, in two days, -he said to the wife- you come down here to sign it"

"Can you take it home, Tom" Sherri asked

"Miss?” he looked at Nic, who nodded

"Sure, Sherry, we´ll take it to you. It was nice to see you" he smiled, she scoffed

"Nat, where´s the car?" she said once she took her purse. Nat roller her eyes but replied

"It´s waiting for you to take you back to Crystals house"

"I need to go to our home in the city to get some clothes... for Camille" she added

"The driver will take you

"Good" she left the room with their daughters behind her

"She thinks you made me their maid!" Nat complained "I´ll wait for you outside" she said to Nic after a moment of silence. Once she was out Tom, the lawyer started to give Nichole a detailed account of everything that Karl owned. He talked of house and businesses and taxes paid. Nichole asked questions about it all. They talked for a couple of house and then she got out of the office and the building, Nat had followed her

"Weren’t you going to wait for me?"

"Drive"

*****************

"If I could get rid of you, I would" Nic said, she´d instructed Nat to stop near a park "buy you’re the only loose end of this story... what would you do to a loose end like that?"

"Get rid of it -Nat said in a whisper- but you’re not me, you’re better"

"I don’t know about that but I do know that Karl trusted you and so far it seemed you never gave him motives to get rid of you or he would´ve done it. I´ve learned from you in this whole mess that you should keep certain people close..."

"The enemy -Nat murmured- Nicky I´m not your enemy"

"We´ll see about that. I might be a fool but you´re the only one that knows about Camille being like me and you did keep Karl´s dirty and clean business going. NO more dirty business but I am not old enough to handle any business or people and I don’t want to either. You claim that you’re loyal to me; this is when you prove it. You keep my sister safe and happy and comfortable and with her money intact and prove your loyalty ... but you know I´ll pay you too... so..."

"You don’t need to. I want to do this for you...."

"You´ll get your check but I want to know everything and not like you did with Karl, everything because if I even suspect..."

"I know, I know, you´ll know everything, you sound so much like Karl sometimes -she said, Nic sighed closing her eyes- I´ll report everything to you weekly or monthly or even daily if you want"

"Weekly but I want to know immediately if anything big happens"

"You will"

"You better"

"Thank you"

"I´m a fool" Nic murmured as they left the park