Double Life: Lost Little Girl

The wind was blowing hard, there was no moon adorning the sky and the clouds were covering the stars, the wind made the trees whistle, dust and leaves were thrown at every direction. The wind felt moist, it was going to rain.

On top of the thick stone wall of Burgeoys, the wind felt harder but strangely comforting for the girl in dark outfit. It had been almost two weeks since she´d had called Nat what she´d learned had left her at a loss and awoke for each of the following nights.

Nichole sighed thinking how little she knew, regretting never having asking questions, closing her eyes pretending everything was ok, bringing the monster out only when it was summoned and then she was content being just the student, the distracted girl that was not like the rest but that felt almost normal, she´d traded knowledge for that, for feeling almost like the rest and not like a monster.

She felt the buzz of her cellphone in her jean’s pocket. She huffed; there was a call for the monster.

“You´ll be picked up in an hour” the voice on the other side of the line said. I don´t want to go she wanted to say but she knew she had to, she´d said no at first but it didn´t go well, and then she was just tired and shut off her mind to be who she had to be… even if it came to pursue her in her dreams.

“Look at this picture, don’t forget this face” Tilly said as little Nichole sat on a bench and then she was left alone. Maybe an hour later little Nichole heard footsteps on the pavement; the sun was just starting to rise. She was cold, scared and alone. She felt tears welling on her eyes.

“Are you lost, sweetie?” a gentle voice said when the footsteps stopped. She looked up to see the one talking. It was the man on the picture. She said nothing but her tears started to fall “Don´t cry, I won´t hurt you” said the voice.  “I´ll hurt you” Nichole murmured as she went back to her room through the woods in the boarding school. “Tell me what happened” said the man, his voice carved in Nichole´s memory. The child version of herself didn´t answer, the man had knelt down to her level.

“Do you know where you live?” the man asked, she nodded

“Almond Street” she said in a small voice

“Ah, that´s close, I´ll take you there” he extended his hand. Nichole hid her small hands on the pockets of her sweater. “Come on, don´t be scared” said the man sitting down next to her, she quickly stood up. “Ok, do you know your mommy or daddy´s cellphone number?”  She shook her head. “I thought so, I´ll take you home” she nodded this time and he held out his hand again, she took a step back “We´ll just walk together, is that ok?” he asked kindly. She furrowed her eyebrows and extended one of her naked hands. The man smiled and right when he was about to take it she put both of her hands behind her back and started to run away, the man went after her.

A moment later she heard a voice calling her name. Tilly was approaching her, pretending she was looking for her, the man was behind.

“Nicky, darling!” the woman said faking concern “I was so scared that I had lost you!”

“Is she yours?” the man seemed relieved

“Yes, she wanted to come and run with me and suddenly she wasn´t there. Nicky, don´t do that to me ever again, ok” she lectured the girl with kind voice.

“Please, don’t be hard on her, she seemed very scared” the man asked, Tilly smiled her charming smile.

“Here, darling, wear your gloves, it´s really cold” she gave little Nichole a pair of light blue gloves

“Well, have a good day, ma’am and you too, Nicky” the man waved and kept jogging. Once they couldn´t see him anymore Tilly´s concerned expression faded.

“What´s wrong with you?” she growled “you lost your chance!” she grabbed Nichole by the shoulders and shook her

“I was scared” the little girl said in a small voice

“Scared? Scared of what? You only had to take his hand! You failed!” she shouted and slapped Nichole, tears started to fall from the girl´s eyes, her cheek felt like it was burning. “Stop crying” the woman hissed “unless you want a real reason to cry!” the girl blinked trying to stop her tears. Tilly started to walk back and the girl followed behind with her tears damping her sweater´s sleeves.

Nichole shook her head to push away the memory. She got in the black car. As always there was an envelope in the back seat. She opened it, there was a picture and an address and some other instructions for her.

As the car moved it started to rain, the rain drops drifted on the tinted glass, her thoughts drifted too back to when she couldn´t kill that first man.

“How could you kill your mother and you couldn´t touch that man?!” her father had shouted angry

“I don´t want to hurt people” her small voice said

“You don´t want to hurt people?! You are hurting me by not obeying! That man is a bad man and you could´ve helped me to get rid of him but you refused”

“He was kind” she was crying now. She´d killed her mother and now she was hurting her father

“He is bad! He hurt your mother!”

“Mom wouldn´t have wanted to hurt him” she said remembering her mother telling her that she shouldn´t use violence every time she drove her to her karate lessons. “This –Cristina used to say- is just so you can defend yourself if someone tries to hurt you but you never use it against others”

“We will never know that now” her father sighed and paced the room. “If you do this, you´ll help me to get rid of bad people. Don´t you want to help me?” his voice was calmed as he asked this. She nodded “Then, don´t question me” he left the room leaving her alone with her tears.