Watching Carmen: The Second Look

I don´t even know how or when it all happened, time has never mattered to me, why would someone count something that never ends? I was just watching and playing like I have been since forever. I sing every day, I watch in awe like a child would watch something for the first time... I've seen pretty much everything many times, but I never cease to be mesmerized by the perfection of it all, one thing is moved, one thing is changed and the whole mechanism changes or even crashes, it´s fascinating but it can be very sad, my heart breaks every time I see people hurting each other or hurting the wonderful place they are given to live... I choose to enjoy what is still wonderful, the smile of a newborn, the joy that every single one of the living things exude when they breath but that they forget, they forget pretty easily, their eyes don´t see much, their memories forget too soon... I could be sad all the time if I thought of it too much, many have gone lost at watching all their flaws and their suffering, I, however, am there to watch through the good and bad and joy and misery. I float around and between them and most of the times they don´t even notice, they´ve stopped believing in what they can´t measure but I walk with them.

I wasn´t on watch the day I saw Carmen for the first time and now I am in watch, a tiny baby has just been born, he has rosy cheeks and huge eyes and he is completely healthy, the joy of his family fills the room and I feel like dancing with the melodic tones that their happy spirits produce.

It´s been three days since the baby was born, Daniel, the human that has been assigned to me for the time being, I´ll be there for him even if he never notices that I´m there. Today he and his happy and sore mother are being released from the hospital, his father came, his mother dressed him in light blue and he was wrapped with a yellow blanket, he is scared, everything is new and it´s nothing like the warm home that his mother´s body was, so I get in the fibers of his yellow blanket with the drawing of a puppy on a corner that his grandma embroidered for him specially, I threat myself in the middle of the blanket to make him feel secure, to let him know he is loved and that everything will be ok, he does not comprehend any of those words but he understands and sees more than many adults because he feels and his little heart and soul are pure and he feels me and sees me and little by little his eyelids close and he falls asleep to go to a world where he dreams of the faces of his loving family, of the smiles he´s seen but that he doesn´t know what they are and he smiles himself as he watches this and his parents see him smiling in his sleep and they are filled with joy and all I want to do is sing and praise the Lord for his love is here with this little soul too.

The happy family gets out of the hospital, the father went for the car already with the baby chair in the back seat, the mom is nervous as she puts her small baby on the chair, she almost wishes that she could still have him inside her, her husband gently and carefully touches her back and she is reassured, she secures her baby and closes the door then gets in, I go to her to soothe her fears, his husband shows himself brave but he´s constantly watching the baby through the rear mirror and the baby feels it, he feels loved but a little lonely back there.

~Puede parecer atrevimiento pero es puro sentimiento~

~~It might seem impertinent but it´s all about feelings~~

We stop at a traffic light and there´s a park on the right side, the father says that he´ll bring his son there as soon as he grows a little more, the mom chuckles, the baby has just been born, their eyes gleam and they can see themselves in the park with their baby boy, I glance too and see the sun crossing the street. Carmen. We advance, the traffic light turned green, I follow Carmen with my eyes not comprehending why I'm watching her. I wanted to go to her for some reason, dance with the fabric of her floral-printed dress but I would never leave my watch but I still felt compelled to go to her and I did.

My vision is more powerful than the human's but I can compare the way I followed her with my eyes with the way human eyes are able to watch what´s on their sides, they watch people with the corner of their eyes, that´s how I followed her through the streets that day. She seems to be spinning like a ballerina but she is not, she just exudes that aura.