Through my eyes: If everyone loved...

A/N: Just a tiny one. There´s a song for this one. Here, in the video there are all these great people that have done things for others, that have helped many people with small things that have become huge...I think sometimes, giving your support and loving someone can be as great because you change, make better that one person´s world and I guess it´d be worth it even if you made better just one day of someone´s lives.

Ah! this is one of the posts that wasn't supposed to happen, I was not going to do it at all but Josh wouldn't let me continue without it. I took out a part in the beginning haha but I might use it for later or not. I wanted to make the last part longer, with dialog but I just couldnt see it so I left it like that.... 

Saku: here´s one of the posts in which one of the things that you said in your last comment happens hahaha

BTW...it seems like I have a few silent readers from Germany... hahaha just felt like mentioning them lol  

****

“Yeah?” my phone woke me up. The sun was properly out and up in the sky. It made patterns all over my room where it touched not only my curtain but the rest of my things; as I woke up I realized it was making me hot so I threw my blanket to a side.

“Where are you?” I hadn’t seen the caller ID but I knew the voice. I had been born knowing it. It was my twin.

“In my room” I said with sleepy voice that confirmed my words. I rubbed my eyes and glanced at my watch, it was one in the afternoon.

“I’m on my way back. I´ll stop by your place” Aaron informed me unnecessarily, I knew he´d come

“How close are you?”

“Half an hour away”

“Bring food” I said yawning and rolling to my side

“What do you want, sir?” he asked sarcastically

“Pepperoni pizza and a coke, get me ice-cream too” I added to annoy him

“Pffft. Right” I knew he was rolling his eyes

“See ‘ya”

**

“Did you go out last night?” Aaron was now in my room. We were both eating the hamburgers and fries that he brought

“Yeah” I chewed my hamburger

“How did you get home?” this part concerned him and he wasn’t subtle about it

“I drove” I shrugged, he observed me “Did mom like the flowers?” I asked as distraction, she´d said she liked them.

“You should´ve gone and see for yourself” he said not a reproach but he didn’t get why I didn’t want to be there, why I haven’t wanted to be there these years.

“It doesn’t feel right” I said. Of course it doesn’t feel right, every year, our family gets together to remember Alexander, to talk about how good man he was, what a  good father and grandfather he was and how bad it was that he died the way he died. I just couldn’t be there. I knew things that they didn’t. I couldn’t pretend he was the great man he appeared to be, he was not and I was not going to pretend everything was alright like he had done.

“Josh, it´s grandpa, he was always there for us, we should be together and…” he didn’t get it at all, he couldn’t. He found it disrespectful that I refused to be there and to go to Alexander´s grave. The first time he´d heard me call him by his name; he´d frowned and asked what was wrong with me. That made me call Alexander grandpa whenever it was necessary for me to refer to him when I was with my family.

“Aaron –I interrupted- none of you were there to see what I saw –this was true, in the official story thieves had killed him and Karl but there was way more to that, things that they better not know- being there with all of you just makes me think of that too much” I said, nothing I hadn’t said before and it was true; it made me feel like an outsider and a hypocrite, a liar because of Alexander. I just couldn’t stand that.

“You still think of it when you´re not with us…–Aaron replied, he was right but at least not being with them I didn’t have to feel like I was protecting Alexander´s secrets- at least if you were with us, we´d have your back” he said concerned, he was voicing my dad´s thoughts in almost his identical words. I fought a smile. The first year I had gone to this meeting but it had been unbearable, the next year I had gone out with friends and ended up calling Aaron, I had been too drunk to drive. No one had forgotten that and I knew they wouldn’t forget it since it was so unlike me but perhaps not really. A single event can change a person in matter of minutes.

“I’m fine. I didn’t have a single drink last night” I said truthfully with a grin

“Where did you go?”

“To my girlfriend´s… to some flower shop…” I listed as I grabbed a few fries from my box and then some from him, his were curly fries.

“You stayed at your girlfriend´s?” he didn’t buy it

“No –I took a sip of my coke gaining some time- I stayed with another girl –I shrugged- actually, with two girls” I said which was nothing but the truth but he pushed me lightly as he rolled his eyes

“Right” he said dryly, he thought that´s simply something I just wouldn’t do and it´s true. It was truth that I hadn’t stayed with two girls in the way that he imagined my words implied but it had been true, I had stayed with another girl, under normal circumstances I wouldn’t have done that, but the circumstances had been far from normal.

“Don’t believe it if you don’t want to” I grinned and shrugged, it was funny I was telling the truth and he thought I was lying.

“You staying with two girls behind your girlfriend’s back, hell would freeze… you don’t have the guts” he smirked

“Of course not –I agreed- I´m a saint” I chuckled “I did stay with some girls though, friends, it was raining” I grumbled

“Oh, man!” he winced on my behalf “You should´ve called me…”

“It was fine… wasn’t so bad” I lied but he caught it

 “If you were having a party you should´ve called me” he reproached making me shake my head, it´s good that he didn’t insist in the topic, in knowing where I was exactly. I felt so much love for him at that moment.

“You were busy. I´ll call you next time” I laughed

“You better!”

**

After Aaron left I called Marissa. I apologized for not answering her texts from this morning. She wanted to know what happened, was I sick? Could she come to help? What could she do for me? I let her know I was fine. That my grandpa had died on a day like the day before and that I had found him dead, that I tend to go on my own that day. Thankfully, she understood, I was feeling lucky. She asked if I was ok, again and I said I was and it was true, I had let go some of the anger I had and I had something like answers. I still had so many questions though. I should´ve said them all but of course the rain…

“Stupid rain” I muttered.