I just wrote you another poem. It´s been over a year, I think, since I wrote an entry in this particular label. A letter to you. Thoughts I cant tell you because no matter what I say, it doesn't reach you, it will not reach you, you don't want it, you don't need it and I do not give you the chance to deny me of you, yet you do it, of course, you do as you please, always.
I don't love you. I´m convinced of that. I´m not attracted to you, not anymore. I´m no longer compelled to find you, to please you, to be with you but I remember how it was to love you, it hurts still, the memory of the feeling of it hasn't healed specially when you just don't find words to talk to me anymore. I´m not interesting to you anymore and I don't really care, it´s fine, I don't mind but the part of me that remembers feels the pain,the stab of it.
It´s really complicated to have loved. I wonder what would you say about this, do you think that once you stop loving someone you no longer feel them? Do you no longer feel them?
I saw your picture today, longer hair, curving at the tips, rounder face, wider chest, sunburnt, clothes lines where the sun didn't touch your skin... I didn't recognize the one I liked there. It was your mind that made fall; the last thing I noticed was your body. I never see bodies, I hardly ever notice how sultry and appealing some could be, how I liked your lips and your eyes. I couldn't see them anymore. I didn't like you anymore but I remember, it is so strange, so very strange
it still hurts that you no longer feel like talking to me but it goes away faster and faster, anxiety doesn't eat at me anymore, only chews a little on the edges of my soul but it lets me go, pain doesn't sting as bad as it once did. Should I congratulate myself? should I thank you for making me almost immune to you?
***
Trying this Blogger app thing. I couldn't copy and paste the stuff from my notes so I decided to try with a draft.
This one is kinda old, about three to five months ago...
So, to post and see what happens!
No comments:
Post a Comment