Through my Eyes: Between Us

A/N: I keep making up all kinds of excuses to not feel so ...lazy, I guess, and not edit stuff... I just typed this one and whatever part that got changed happened as I copied it from my notebook to Word...

I wanted to say something else but I´ve forgotten atm ...mmmm

***

“Where did you graduate?” I asked Nichole. It was just the two of us in her apartment. Marisa was running late, she was with a group for some project and they’ve been held up for longer than expected. I had been invited to another movie night; it was about a couple of weeks after the last one. I was on the couch in front of the television; Nichole was behind her drawing table, leaned over it, I had turned half way to ask my question. She looked up and raised her eyebrows in question

“You didn’t graduate from Burgeoys; you must have graduated from somewhere to get into college” I explained, I had wondered about normal unimportant things like this a long time ago, or so it felt, and it had come back to me in the virtual silence we´d shared as I waited. I wondered if she´d just printed a diploma or get herself a new student record or something

“I took a test” she said as her eyes went back to be fixed upon her table

“So, no graduation and no diploma”

“Yes and yes”

“Eh?” I adjusted on the couch to face her; I saw her kept making strokes with some kind of chalk on what I guessed was paper on the table

“Yes to the graduation and yes to the diploma”

“What school..?”

“The one I went to take the test” I thought I saw the faintest one shoulder shrug on her

“What school was it?” I asked the question that had been interrupted; curious to know that she hadn’t immediately gone to the backpacking part of her time away; a part of me told me about the nag that caused me.

“A public small school” she said still focused on her task, changing the chalk she was using. I looked back to the T.V considering; trying to imagine what kind of place it had been and why and when this had taken place. It didn’t really seem to matter to her but she´d done it and by then she´d been free to do whatever she wanted so she must´ve wanted it just not from our fancy school

“Why did you say the other day you didn’t get to apologize?” I turned back again to see her after a while; she didn’t look up at me but shook her head

“Marissa will come home at any minute; not here” her calm voice said as I was about to press the matter

“Ok” I accepted her words. The truth was that in these talks one of us ended shouting or running away

“She doesn’t know anything about you, does she?” I narrowed my eyes at Nichole; I was almost sure she could see me even if she was supposedly focused on her work

“What she needs to know”

“That means your name and the age in your ID only?” I raised my eyebrows; not even her name was her real name, not even what everybody though was her age was her real age…

“Does she know everything about you?” this time she looked up at me for a second as she changed the chalk stick again. I sighed…I knew what she was referring to “Do we know everything about her?” Nichole said in her soft voice almost as an afterthought, almost as if to say it was ok I had reservations towards her; or so I made myself believe but I doubted Marissa had secrets like ours

“We know she was born in Milan, that she´s a painter, started as an amateur…about her family that she´s the youngest child and only daughter” I listed a few things; Nic nodded “Do you know her family?” I asked

“I´ve seen Anton”

“Never met him?” I raised my eyebrows; she pursed her lips a fraction, considering her answer, I knew.

“Not exactly”

“How´s that?” in my mind you either met people or didn’t; she looked at me with what seemed to be humor

“He didn’t like me”

“How you know if you never met him?”

“When Marissa came to find me at the place we were departing for our first trip; he came along with her…he said I was… -she narrowed her eyes a little- stealing her sister away; I didn’t completely understand him; he was speaking really fast and Marissa didn’t want to tell me the rest”

“Oh…-I could almost see the man shouting at her in quick Italian; making gestures like Marissa does sometimes when she´s upset- then I guess you did meet him”

“If that is meeting someone, yes” she looked down at her work again and for a moment if almost felt like the time we spent together before. I found it strange how it seemed that even after one of us had ended up being upset when we last talked the next time it was like we were almost friends somehow but not really; there was a wall between us; I could feel it there, invisible but solid, a double wall.

“Does she know about Camille?” I asked after a little while and she took her time

“I need to focus on my work” she finally replied without inflections. It was an evasion; I scoffed

“Please, you can do that with closed eyes” irritation leaked in the words; she raised both eyebrows looking straight at me

“I cannot work with my eyes close” she tilted her head a little in what I thought was humor

“You know what I meant… You´ve worked as you listen to me before… as you listen and reply –I emphasized the word- I´ve seen you”

“This one´s not for Mike” she said and I almost laughed. She couldn’t pretend she´d been sloppy at how she made her work for our arts instructor. I had seen her; I was sure

“No, but I´m sure you´re still you” I said confident; she looked up at me without moving her head up, only with her eyes and then focused back on her work

“I think… -I pondered out loud- that she does know about Camille but hasn’t met her, why?”

“Why would I introduce Mii to Marissa?”

“Why not? Mii is important for you; Mari seems to be the closest person to you since… -I was going to say me but that…- anybody” I finished; she only shrugged and then I thought of something…they had always been so careful when it came to Camille

“I mean you let your psycho… -mother? No, that didn´t sound right and Nichole wouldn’t take it kindly- guardian around her, she´s like the most dangerous person that can be around your sister, don’t you think?” I finished sure that what I said was true, she nodded slowly making a motion with her arm as if she was erasing something “then why?” I insisted

“Not here” it was barely a whisper with a hint of pleading. I sighed; ran my hand through my hair

“The good people, no, let´s say, the harmless ones are the ones you keep away” I mumbled turning back and drinking from my glass of water

“She´s a necessity” I heard Nichole´s reluctant voice

“What do you mean?” I turned back again; she was sat up with eyes closed

“Camille… -she started still with eyes closed but then stopped, opened her eyes that had unlike what I had imagined a fierce look in them, leaned forward with a serious expression- this is between us” she told me; I knew my eyes grew twice their size

“Of course; you know I´d never say anything, I haven´t …”

“I know” her usual monotone came back and she seemed to relax although she hadn’t exactly looked tense or rigid before, she went back to her work “Mii and I are sisters” she said

“I know” I said as I laughed

“No, not half-sisters, sisters. She´s a lot like me” she grimaced. That was crazy yet it made sense; the younger girl was like a small version of Nichole except she was happy

“But she´s… -Nichole´s mother had died years before Camille even existed…but then…Strassberg was in a way Nic´s mom…I felt a frown forming on my face- how´s that possible?”

“Nat stole things from Alex…-she stopped abruptly- from the crew –she corrected herself, looked at me,  I nodded, I remembered reading that- I thought it had been papers, information or even money but it was something more valuable…it was Camille”

“What? But she´s like …what? Six or seven years younger than you”

“Eight. And she wasn’t exactly Camille… fertilized eggs” there was some reluctance in her voice and something in her partially hidden eyes told me she might´ve been regretting telling me this

“Wow –I exclaimed shocked as I tried not to think who was behind that crew- but how…?”

“You should know better than me how in vitro works” I could see a raised eyebrow and hear the slight teasing in her voice

“So Strassberg´s Camille mom too?” I frowned and heard the disgust in my voice

“Sheryl gave birth to Camille”

“That´s incredible” I blinked, not the being born like she did, that was standard but the length that Karl had taken to have another child was … incredible

“If you consider us –she motioned a chalk-like stick between she and I –it´s not as weird” I could tell that she didn’t want even the idea of her little sister being ‘weird´to be thought but it was true, there was something far more strange and incredible in us…death

“Does she…?” I looked at her hand

“She was never an experiment like me, not exactly –she said, I felt sad. Of course, I had been the cause of what happened to her hands- she´s just a girl, an extraordinary girl” she said barely above a whisper

“I´m sorry” I whispered back. It must’ve been hard for Nichole. Her little sister was just like her but Mii had a family, safely, love while Nic had been sent away, beaten and forced to commit crimes

“I´m not. She´s got to be happy and safe” Nichole said in her usual devoid of emotion tone but I knew, I was sure, she meant it, she adored that girl and that she didn’t think of resenting the kid´s good luck said a lot. I could´ve gotten up and hug her but if I attempted that she might move away of break some of my bones so I just smiled

“She does look happy even with the psycho there… but why is she a necessity?”

“Camille´s… extraordinary…I cannot send her to regular doctors for example”

“But if she´s like you, she wouldn’t get sick” I said at once

“No –I thought I heard a smile in her tone but none was visible on her face- but she can still get hurt and she does…like other kids she gets health checks”

“Did you get those?”

“Yeah…” she dragged the word

“Why? You said you didn’t get sick?”

She nodded “You´re a doctor, wouldn’t you want to check a person who´s different?”

“I guess…” I said not knowing what´d be the right answer, I didn’t know how different they were and if feeling curious to learn it would place me in the same category as the psycho and the mad scientist

“Mii needs someone that actually makes her eat her veggies and not over exercise when she´s hurt and Sheryl just can´t do that” she rolled her eyes; I smiled. She cared so much for the girl but it was so unsettling that Strasberg was the one who got to be the authority figure, the business woman, somehow the mother. She didn’t deserve any of that and Nic, everybody trusted her, that hurt

“Who makes you eat your veggies and not over exercise when you´re hurt?” I joked instead of voicing my thoughts. She shook her head fighting a smile

“So Strasberg´s kind of related to Mii, too?” maybe that´s why she was trusted although that felt wrong

“Nope, only I have the psycho´s genes. Mii´s all Karl and Miriam´s… I guess Camille´s not exactly like me after all…”

“Oh, I´m sorry. I didn’t mean…” I started, she shrugged

“If you take away the fact that she´s a psycho and all that…she´s quite brilliant, organized, she´s got a high IQ, she´s quite healthy and possesses a photographic memory… I don´t know why she was told her genes were not good” she mused

“Maybe because of the psycho part?” I scoffed. Did she admire the woman? Did she feel affection for the woman? Nichole only shrugged uninterested; that sparked some anger that I pushed away as I thought of a reason why Strasberg would´ve been told that her genes were not good…my grandpa had led all that, from his behavior there and if I thought well, in everything else, he really liked control, maybe he´d liked controlling people as well, obviously he´d like that I sighed.

“Photographic memory, really?” I distracted myself on this as I furrowed my eyebrows “Do you…?” if she had that, it made sense why she´d been the best student in school and the detail in her drawings and… I stopped my reasoning as she shook her head; I raised my eyebrows. If they had wanted to make a super human that would´ve been something to include

“Not, not like Nat´s… just sort of a good memory” she sounded hesitant as if it made her embarrassed which was weird but then she´d never bragged about her abilities, she usually hid them away so I dropped it

“Does Mii know?” I spoke after a while; her eyebrows furrowed a little but she slowly shook her head “Will you tell her?” I thought this was important. She nodded slowly

“Eventually” she sighed

“What do you guys tell her now?”

“To her it´s normal, natural to be good at ballet and at school” she touched her neck but seemed to realize it and made it like she´d been massaging her neck area

“Jumping from a three story building like you is natural?” I raised my eyebrows; she had to know she was different

“Mii doesn’t do that; she doesn’t know it´s possible –she said it like it was obvious- I do not think she´s…. exactly like me but she knows she´s special, not the extent of it but even if she wasn’t…made like that she´d still be extraordinaire” there was an edge of defensiveness in her vice, it made me smile how protective she got and how talkative she was when it was about Camille

“Of course –I agreed- she´s you in happy version” I wondered for a second if she´d get mad because she stared at me for a second and then she was fighting a smile and she was good at it, if I hadn’t known that her face expressions were so subtle I wouldn’t have noticed

“She´s happy” she concluded and I could see it made her happy

“And a good dancer” I added

“Yes, she´s amazing –her half-smile appeared freely- she´s gotten so much better since you last saw her”

“I bet, she seemed to like ballet” I said remembering how we´d sneaked out of Burgeoys and how we´d barely avoided meeting Strasberg as we were at the recital

“She enjoys it… I think she´ll be a dancer in the future” she was looking at her drawing and I could hear the smile in her tone. It was nice to listen to her talking about the future with hope; she´d never done that. Camille really was her only happiness. “Or so she says” Nichole shrugged

“You´ll both have Art related careers” I smiled

“At other times she says she´ll be a vet” she told me. I chuckled; I remembered Aaron wanted to be a vet too

“She likes animals?” I was in the middle of asking when the door opened

“Ahg! Josh, Nini, I´m so sorry for being late! It was hell” Mari complained and sat next to me. She kissed me lightly then turned on her side to see from me to Nic and back “What are we talking about?” I wasn’t sure if the whole conversation was in the between us part but Nichole lifted a large piece of paper before I said anything, it was a ballerina, it was Camille

“Another ballerina –Mari smiled- you were talking of your baby sister and not doing your project” Marissa rolled her eyes. Nichole shrugged and I concluded that Marissa, unlike what I thought, knew of Camille

“That´s Nini´s sister, Camille –Mari told me- before I knew the of her I thought this one –Mari pointed to Nic- was heartless but she clearly loves the little girls, talks to her every night, isn’t that cute? –Mari asked no one in particular as Nichole went back to focusing on her drawing table- I guess, she´s like you on that –Mari told me, I furrowed my eyebrows- you both adore your family” Mari beamed at me and I smiled back

“I guess” I said

“Have you ever met her?” Mari asked me

“He met her” Nichole replied for me

“Aw, Nini, really? I wanna meet your love too” Mari pouted a little

“I won’t bring my sister to our dorm. She´s busy”

“With what? She’s a kid!”

“School, ballet lessons, piano lessons and her own friends” Nichole replied dismissively

“What happened to kids being kids?” Marissa frowned; I chuckled; Nic shrugged

“You should beg for mercy for her; I looked up for that school she goes to, a prison, lessons all day –she made a gagging sound- Laura went there, it´s tough… spare her”

“Camille´s smart; she´s getting a good education”

“Sure, I get it but come on!  -Mari continued-  she´s gotta be a kid… like did you…? Ok, wait, what did you do when you were a kid? Did you go to that school?”

“Carina, my sister´s fine –Nichole said in her soft voice- and I´m not a kid anymore so it´s fine” Nichole was patient with Marissa but like with me she didn’t seem willing to answer at least with me there

“Tell me, Nini or I´ll ask Josh” she pouted; Nic raised an eyebrow

“He must know something” Mari said

“Am I that interesting that you want to make your boyfriend talk about me? You´re weird carina” she said with a raised eyebrow and a teasing tone that made Mari blushed slightly

“Nini! –she sighed dramatically- my point stands though; children need time to be free like… ok, Josh, don´t tell me you had that kind of busy childhood too?” Mari frowned

“I enjoyed my music lessons” I started chuckling at her expression

“They were worth it –she pecked me on the lips- but that was it, right? Tell me you were normal” she made a sad face and I opened my mouth to talk but my expression gave me away so she didn’t let me talk “No! geez! You people… -Mari threw up her hands- tell me what else you did?” she asked me

“Just a few extra lessons…”

“…and they are…?”

I sighed “Guitar and piano lessons… stuff like karate…a bunch of other stuff”

“No wonder you´re so smart and talented” Mari said softly

“I had to take math and physics tutoring…” I said maybe in an attempt to comfort her

“I just flunk like a normal kid” she frowned but then laughed

“What did you do? –I asked- what was your childhood like?”

“I ran around, played with other kids, laid on my belly as I watched cartoons, watched the clouds to find shapes, made Anton to give me piggy rides… didn’t do homework until it was absolutely necessary and just what was necessary –she laughed a little- just normal stuff, had fun” she winked

“I watched the clouds too” I said remembering Aaron and I doing it after some of our lessons, it was usually us and Paisley, the dog always followed him even if it was supposed to be mine. Marissa smiled brightly at me

“It´s your turn Nini, what was your childhood like?”

“I´m going out” Nichole walked towards the door

“What? Why? No! it´s movie night, ragazza!” Marissa protested; Nichole shrugged opening the door “No! you must have a good reason”

“Russel” Nic winked and smirked

“He´s cute. Sorry –Mari said my way- but you have a date with Josh and me”

“I´m sure you two won´t mind alone time. You´re welcome” Nichole inclined her head slightly

“Well…” Marissa looked at me; I shrugged

“See, all settled. Bye people” Nichole got out

“Bye” I said

“But you didn’t tell us!” Mari said as the door closed. I was sure Nichole heard it and I was almost sure she was just escaping from answering about her childhood

“Well… -Mari turned to me grinning- seems like we have the place to ourselves”

“Yeah…” I took a strand of her long black shiny hair

“What do you wanna do?” she moved closer to me

“Mmnh –we kissed- whatever you want”

“Normal stuff, please –she teased- of normal young people” she poked her tongue out at me; I chuckled

“What do you think I´d want to do?”

“With that busy childhood you had you ought to become weird”

“Or drop all that and turn wild” I joked

“Oooh –she threw her arms around my neck- I seriously like that”

“Yeah?” I was glad she got, we got distracted; I thought for a moment Marissa would ask me if I knew what made our mutual friend so busy during her childhood…she did have a sad one.