wondering 10* Drenched

Anna had cried herself to sleep, her soul was darkened by sadness, rage and abandonment. She threw herself to sleep and she dreamed. In her dream she didnt feel a thing, not even fear. She felt she was free, she felt that it didnt mattered if there was nothing meaningful in her life, she felt there was nothing that could hurt her but when she opened her eyes the next morning she realized that it had been a dream and that she was imprisonedin the million of cells that made her body which was no blessing.

Loneliness was always present in Anna´s life. She had taken her lunch alone in one of the many cafeterias scattered around the campus. She really liked this one, it was in a corner and instead of walls it had a few metal bars well located that gave the sense of one of those modern buildings, on this bars there were green-leaves plants hanging. She liked to sit right next to those plants but not today because all the tables were taken. She had to sat on one of the tables in the middle, it was awful. "you always need someone, it´s very bad to be alone" she remembered her mom saying "Im wont deny that" she had said with a tinge of sadness. It made her notice how lonely she was, in the middle of the room eating alone with no one waiting for her, not there, not at home, nowhere. She kept her eyes fixed on her plate, what else could she do? "just keep breathing" Scire said. "sure, it´s a reflex after all" Anna said bitter.
"keep your heart beating" Scire spoke again
"absoultely, after all I cant control that one"

Existencialist questions, had said one of her teachers, we all had have our time with those but there´s a moment in which we get over them. "Bah!" said Anna to herself "Im sure that´s the moment in which you convince yourself that you have to keep breathing no matter how miserable your life is... I dont like that, what´s the meaning of that?" she never said that out-loud, she didnt want to gain the reputation of being a suicidal person, not infront of all those people that barely knew her. Re-thinking that class she found herself infront of her classroom again. It was too early so it was pretty much empty. She sat and a few minutes later the sun was shinning over her. It was so annoying, she moved, and then again. A couple of classmates arrived, a small talk that she couldnt remember anymore.They all went to the class and then the next class. It was ok, she was good at it because it kept her mind busy, it kept her away of the emptiness her life was.

The sky turned gray, the rain started to fall, it was a heavy rain, it even hurt a little when the drops hit her skin. She was drenched, she didnt have an umbrella. She didnt even bothered to run or to find for a place to cover... "who cares?" she thought "it´s cold just like me"
"I wonder if someone could give me a ride home...." she thought
"no body knows you Anna, do you think they´d do that for a complete stranger?"
"I know, it´s my fault after all... I dont make any effort for knowing them, I dont make any effort to open up myself but...I dont think it´s worth it, I mean, who´d care for a heart that´s not their own?"
"mh"
"maybe Im a hypocrit, right? yeah, I dont show how I really feel, no ones knows how many nights I´ve cried, they only see the shy girl who sits in the corner of the classroom"
"you dont have to be that hard on yourself, Anna...just ...." but Scire didnt have words to confort Anna who was walking slowly under the heavy rain.
"who cares about the real me, after all it´s all dark, empty and gray...what a person! ha" she laughed
"we should hurry up, Anna, I dont want us to get sick"
"shut up, Scire, let me enjoy the rain..."