Acceptance

A bird with broken wings.

It will never fly again. 

It weeps. 

It learned to lock the door of its golden cage. 

It turns its back to the window. 

It does not look up to the sky anymore. 

Sing again, little bird.

Dream again, little bird. 

Acceptance.  

A fish in the wide cool ocean. 

It will never fly. 

It goes on swimming. 

It blows bubbles all around. 

It dreams fish dreams. 

It dares to explore the seas of the world. 

Go on your merry way, little fish.

Swim free, little fish. 

Acceptance? 

Must be a dream

My feet hit the pavement making a sound that in my ears means I'm trying to go faster even as my eyes admire the fine day, sunny and fresh with a clear blue sky, the picture of serenity.

As I walk I realize I'm finally where I want to be. Three more steps will take me to the massive wooden doors that I can't wait to go through, my eyes are impatient to see her.

I grin at the sight of her in the white pristine dress that hugs her figure and falls down softly all the way to the floor.

She smiles back as she waits for me. She is wearing a dress, that's my victory; I'll say yes, that's hers... I can't walk fast enough to say I do to the rest of my life.

I have to get new and thicker curtains, I groan internally as the sun invades my room and tears me up from the soft embrace of my dreams. I turn around, on my side, wanting to go back to sleep, seeking to get more of the warmth I feel next to me but my mind is awake already and my eyes don't want to stay close anymore, not when they caught her sight.

The morning sun is kissing her face making her glow, her hair is making and abstract painting on the pillow, her delicate hands are resting under her rosy cheek.

"God, she's beautiful" I think as my mind goes back to the day she wore her white pristine dress for me, just for me.
I move away on of the strands of hair that sticks to her face, my fingers brush her skin and she opens her eyes, blinks a little. Her fluttering eyelashes sweep my heart away. Her brown eyes, almost black in this light, stare back at me as her mouth stretches to greet me with a smile.

"This must be happiness" I think as I reach for her hand trying to find my voice. Dreams do come true.

posted from Bloggeroid

Feminine

He wakes up in the middle of the night,

the too many drinks he had chew his insides mercilessly.

He comes back to his bed, it feels cold,

it always is when you're alone.

He sits on the edge of the bed, head

hung, a clear view of his empty belly.

He reaches and places a hand over it,

wishing it could be home for a life.

He curses his name again and again.

Hands too big, too much hair, body all wrong.

If only he could add an S to the way

he's called, three letters instead of two.

He mourns for what wasn't given to him,

for what he longs.

It's despair walking in his shoes, not the ones he wants.

Girl, woman, girlfriend, bride, wife,

mom, grandma, sweet melody he'll never listen.

Empty belly, empty

heart.

****

Not only I wasn´t able to post this before but also I´ve been wondering if it´s...if it could be offensive, of course it´s not my intention, not at all

Porcelain Doll

Unique, different, undefined, special: my love. So beautiful in whatever he chooses to wear; in whatever he chooses to be...so elegant and perfect.

Time slips by... always there, always unnoticed.

He tries and tries, it's not that my love doesn't support him; it's that he just can't stand his existence anymore. I know as I look at him across the table, pale, no make-up, matted hair that once shone in waves, white nightie, too thin to be healthy.

His eyes are tired of tears, tired of lack of sleep, tired of his now gray days, too much fighting, too much trying. The world is too heavy on his shoulders. I'm not with him but even in my sleep I can tell he's sitting at the dining table in the dark, listening to the ticking clock marking too long minutes in the middle of the night.

Tick-tock tick-tock. The pendulum clock was banished of the house but we can still listen to its echo, marking, cutting the air and our skin.

I go to him, sit on my place across from him. There is nothing to say. I wish I knew how to make him better. From the seat next to him he takes something and places it on the table. I gasp in horror.

"Please don't" unshed tears fill my eyes

"Please, let me go" a whispered plea; big colored eyes showing me his pain. I shake my head, reaching for the gun that now points at his temple

"No, no, don't do this..." I talk. I don't know what I'm saying; all I know is that I have to make my beautiful stay. I say it all, I plead, I beg, I promise...

There's a gloom around him from then on, as if the coldest of winters settled eternally on his soul. He sits by the picture window and looks outside with a loss stare, withering away. Can't be left alone, he doesn't sleep anymore, he doesn't eat anymore, he doesn't smile anymore.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six.... you never realize when the countdown is about to be over.

Just a second later and at the same time a long time after that night in the dining room, I'm in my room, trying to sleep, my mind on him who refused to go to bed. My mind knows, my soul knows and even if my eyes didn't see it through the walls I can tell the exact moment that he pulled the trigger just as his care-taker came in the room. My scream and the ripping sound awake me and I run to him. I didn't see it happen but the part of me that is in him did and it showed me.

And I feel his pain, not only through our minds but through his moans of pain, bad aim, not enough strength. He's on the floor; I can't get to him fast enough, his caretaker glued in place.

The first thing I see is his thick scarlet blood staining the floor and the side of his face ripped away. He's shaking, too much pain. His white chiffon nightie is pristine; he looks like a porcelain doll that now is broken by her own doing.

I carefully pull him to me as I urge the caretaker to call the emergency number but my beloved and I know that it's too late. NO! My mind screams even as it feels his pain and his life escaping away from that hideous hole on the side of his head

"No, no, no, no, no -I rock back and forth with him half on my lap as if that will stop the unavoidable- no, no, my love, my love, don't leave me, no, no, no, my love, love, don't go..." My tears run free and there's sadness and regret in his eyes, not because his wrong doing but because he feels it's killing me too, the part of me that is in him is screaming in pain. Why? Why did you do this? Love, why? It cries as my audible voice keeps imploring him to stay with me even as I know it's in vain.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, his mind, his eyes speak to mine. I didn't think it'd hurt you as bad. I didn't think...

"No, no, no love, my love, please, stay, no, no, no, oh, please, no..." My words melt into the next

Why does time doesn´t stop even as life stops even if you breathe and move? Why is it so cruel and takes you back and forward in the blink of an eye?

I wake up crying, reliving those nights. The echo of my voice and his haunted eyes are always filling my dreams. He sleeps his eternal sleep in his white chiffon nightie, his favorite, looking like a porcelain doll. I still beg him to stay.

****
written dec/22/2014.
A/N: not sure why or where this one came from but I had to write it, like a day or two after I hastily wrote it on my phone right after I woke up saying that line of "no, no, no..." I saw that picture and it felt kinda like a sign. Perhaps it´s not the best thing to post as the first post of a new year but... it´s what I have.

I have to say my brain did this on its own, like the whole thing as I slept.... You might say that it´s not wonder that it´s so bad haha

Speaking hearts

"Good night, I love you." A message sent through air and waves. She meant it, she felt it.
"Right.... -on the other side of the box, she rolled her eyes- just a bunch of words..." she sighed, she didn´t trust the three words even if she also felt it...

Their hearts just didn´t speak the same language.

Manly

It is so weird that I wake up in the morning feeling like I've actually slept seven hours but that's how I woke up this morning when my alarm clock pull me out of my warm sleep. I have to change the tone of my alarm, I thought, it was a song I liked but I had started to hate it since it was the one that stole my dreams away.

I sat up, yawned and rubbed my eyes as I moved out from under the blanket. Blindly I looked for my sleepers with my feet lifting them quickly when they touched the cold floor. I stood up and pulled my pajama pants up, for some reason they always hung down my hips when I wake up.

Without turning the lights on, I went to the bathroom and automatically showered, my eyes were open but without seeing the light blue walls or really focusing in anything else. My hands washed my skin as I did every day for the past twenty two years. My father had always said that I showered wrong, I didn't care. He said you were to start from your head down and not from your feet up like I did. I huffed as I randomly thought about it, already cleaned and completely awake. One thing missing: to brush my teeth.

I keep my toothpaste and toothbrush inside a white cabinet with a mirror on its door over the sink. I put the blue paste on my toothbrush, I made a mental note to buy another, I'll soon need a new one. For some reason right before I start cleaning my teeth I always look at myself on the mirror.

After my shower mist had covered the mirror, I cleaned it with my hand and saw my reflection. I saw my eyes first, deep dark brown, the color of the kind of coffee that could keep you awake all night, my short eye lashes... My round face didn't look as round, instead it had angles, my jaw had changed, a shadow covered it. I touched my cheek

"I need to shave" my mind said to me knowing something I didn't. I blinked and focused on my face. I was so accustomed to see my face that I had assumed it was the same and had dismissed the new shape, the strong jaw line and squared forehead, the darker eyebrows, the short hair that I had just combed back with my fingers....even the fact that I had to bend down to properly look at my face on the mirror

I refocused my eyes, noticing my neck wasn't as thin as before and now it had something... "Adam's

apple" my brain informed me. Ok, I said appraising the slightly raised skin over the bone. And I moved my eyes lower, where my frail shoulders and lean arms had been I had broad shoulders and the arms that come with the body I had woken up in.

I looked at myself again, taking in my face, neck and naked shoulders. I looked a lot like my father but leaner. I looked like my brother but younger. I kinda looked like my father's brother but without curls. The man had always been handsome.

I realized this was me. I had gone to bed as a girl and had woken up as a man. I felt pleased, not because I had a new body but because like the other one, it was my body and I felt comfortable in it. Maybe my mind had changed a little, too, I liked the way I looked, I liked it a lot. With a laugh that didn't have my former higher pitch I went out of the bathroom. This was me.

Rare Fish

Writing prompt February 23rd 2014. “Your protagonist love interest has three annoying habits. What are they?

This is what I did for this writing prompt, I used my DL characters in this. I´m not so sure about that tittle but I couldnt really think of anything else hhahaha 
Yay for finishing this one, I finished it yesterday and that´s good since  I thought I wouldn´t finnish it. As always don´t expect editing, lack of mistakes...etc
I love it when I get to write little stories like this where the feeling of it fits in a few pages (it´s only about 1,400 words) ofc I like my longer stuff but this feels nice too

***

“So he managed to convince you, huh?" Nichole heard Josh´s twin´s voice as soon as she came out of the water. She´d heard Aaron come in the deserted pool room a little bit ago. She raised an eebrow in question but she knew what he had meant. It had been a little less than a month since she and Josh had agreed to, as Josh had worded it "give themselves a chance".

"You and my brother" Aaron said as clarification as he sat on the edge of the pool. Again, Nichole just raised her eyebrows, he narrowed his eyes in a nearly identical way in which Josh did. "Of course -Nic thought- they´re identical twins, they do many things the same way" this made her chuckle and shake her head. "They do not do things the same way" she told herself in amusement. Now that she´d let herself like him, the idea of him made her smile, it wasn´t good. Aaron took her smile as a good sign, he smiled at her with playfulness dancing in his eyes.

"So, you and Josh are finally admiting that you´re dating?" he asked as he´d done so many times before

"Not now -she smirked- he must be doing homework now and I´m swimming, more like trying to swim, an annoying kid is not letting me" she shrugged lightly

"You´re speaking to me, full sentences and smiling. I´d say he´s given you a great mood" Aaron teased

"You´d be in a great mood too if you had a hottie at your disposition" she smirked, he blinked and she laughed "I´m shallow, boy, not good for your sweet other half" there was a mischievous expression on her face when she threw herself back, swimming on her back; she saw him shaking his head.

"I´d consider that a deffect, you know"

"What?" she kept swimming beyong the second half of the pool

"You leave people hanging, it´s like you love to see others unbalanced with those sassy comments" he said

"Wonderful, huh?" she said fighting a laugh

"Josh thinks so, for him, even that annoying habit of yours is cute" Aaron said a little reluctant and this was overwhelming for Nichole, she felt color spreading on her cheeks faster than what she could control so she let herself go down, down, down the pool until her back touched the ground and Aaron´s voice could be avoided somewhat.

"You are scaring me" Aaron raised his voice, she stayed down "I´ll go down there to get you now" there was worry in his vice. She heard him jump and she moved, swimming away to come out several feet away from him

"You would´ve killed him with that!" Aaron said angryly, Nic tilted her head to a side

"I know but he wouldn't have come to the pool to tell me what my flaws are" she said in her quiet voice

"That´s only because he doesnt see them"

"He does, or at least he should" she ammended

"Do you see his flaws?" Aaron asked locking gazes with hers

"You´re like a whole another person when your brother´s sake´s involved" Nic commented with a slight tilt of her head, he shrugged

"You didnt answer"

"I know"

"Are you going to?" He insisted, she sighed

"I told Josh that one advantage of us together would be that you´d finally stop annoying me with questions like these ones... Seems like I was completely wrong about that" she faked a frown. in truth it was quite amusing and endearing how protective the other boy was. Aaron snorted.

"Dont tell me he doesnt ask you questions"

"He does, a lot, a million, one after the other -she smiled her half smile, it was unavoidable- it´s annoying" she finished, her tone didnt show annoyance at all

"J mentioned that smile..." Aaron said in a conspiratory tone. Nichole breathed in deeply

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Dont you wanna know what he says of you to others?" Aaron grinned

"No. He´d tell me if he wanted me to know"

"Wow! that´s something I´ve never heard from a girl"

"I´m not like any other girl you´ve ever met" she winked

"Proud much?"

"Very" her eyebrow went up as she spoke the word

"Do you think he´d want to know what you say of him?" Aaron asked after they took a lap

"Josh respects my privacy but if he really wanted to know he´d give me the customary million questions"

"Mybe he knows you get annoyed by that"

"I do get annoyed but....at the same time I dont get annoyed" she admitted

"How´s that?" Aaron sat on the edge of the pool again

"Only he gets to have that exception, yours are annoying as hell" she rolled her eyes, he chuckled

"So, J´s annoying but cute" he teased

"Hot" she smirked

"What other annoyingly hot things are there?"

"Why do you care?"

"In case that you two break up" he smirked

"Right, as if you could be anything mine"

"I´m your bro now" he poked his tongue out

"And you act the part" she wrinked her nose

"Gotta be a good bro" he winked, she rolled her eyes and went back to swimming a couple of laps thinking about Aaron´s twin

"He´s stubborn as no one else" she´d stopped at the other end of the pool

"That´s his other deffect?" Aaron was now floating on his back

"Yes and no"

"Huh? how does that work?"

"Josh calls it to be persistent. I think it´s annoying but this persistence of his must have been what has made him overcome the obstacles in his life and I know he´s got those since he was very young. I can only imagine the effort he must had to put after his accident... He had to be stubborn to keep up with everybody and he certainly needs it to keep up with me -she laughed quietly- it´s annoying but admirable" she concluded feeling proud of him.

"J´s not even here and you´re speaking so much, i had never heard you speak your thoughts that feeling" Aaron stood up with a grin that annoyed Nic but he was right which was half scary half relieving for her.

"This way I get to save him at least a few hundred questions" she shrugged

"You´re saying I´ll gossip about this to him?"

"That´s exactly what I'm saying"

"I won´t!" he stood straight, she just glanced t him and went back to swimming on her back, thinking. At some point she stopped moving and closed her eyes and let herself sink until her back touched the floor of the pool. Nichole stayed down with eyes closed listening to the sound of the water waves that Aaron caused as he swam. It was calming for her t be there with barely any sound... Too bad I need to get out and breathe she thought asshe swam under water towards the ladder of the pool.

"Why do you like to sink under water?" Aaron asked with a mix of annoyance and worry

"It´s calming" she shrugged guessing Aaron felt negative towards certain things when it came to water

"I know -Aaron cleared his throat- that you know about him and.... water" the win had gone serious like when she visited them at their house. she nodded guessing this is what he´d been building up, what he really wanted to say.

"Is that one of his flaws for you?" he looked straight into her eyes

"No" her reply was one of the most honests things she´d ever said

"It´s a serious stuff, he might not get over it any time soon" Aaron stated

"I know"

"It might stop you from certain things..."

"I dont see how that is a problem, we´re not fish" she shrugged, Aaron fought a smile

"Are you completely sure that you dont mind about that?"

"Do you?" she asked with a raised eyebrow

"Of course not!" Aaron said as if that was ridiculous

"That´s how I see it" she said as she got out of the pool

"He´s right, you´re a cool girl" Aaron raised his voice as little as Nichole walked out of the changing room towards the exit

"That's his other flaw" Nic said not turning back

"What is it?" Aaron said confused

"He likes me, that´s a terrible annoying flaw" she rolled her eyes but her smile contradicted her words. Aaron laughed

"I agree with that. You are crazy, Nichole" Aaron said as she got out of the place.

My Someplace is here (DL/TME side story)

A/N: Ash is still here! hahahaha he´ll always be around in a way lol ok, I liked seeing him in this one... I was not going to post this but yesterday I had lost the pages in which I had written it so I decided to post it  

Saku, don´t hate my girls in this one lol lol 

Ah! There is a song mentioned. The song

mmmmmm this was just a little bit I felt like writing so it probably has many mistakes.... hahaha ofc

****

I loved this image, as soon as I saw it, I knew it was perfect for this one but in a way it makes me think of my dear friend Saku´s story, the roses, I think haha 

“I have my questions ready!” Marissa smiled once she finished going through the images of Ashley that Nichole had drawn and painted back when she was in high school

“Shoot”

“How old were you two?” Mari grinned, it was two questions in one and it’d tell her how long ago she’d made the drawings

“In this one –Nic pointed to a drawing of Ash sitting against a tree- I was 14 and he was 16”

“Wow! He liked little girls and you older men!” Mari giggled; Nic rolled her eyes

“What’s the best memory you have of him? -Mari asked and then before she spoke- Wow! That good? Look at your smile!” she exclaimed

“I can’t see myself without a mirror, you know” Nic said composing herself; so many memories had come to her mind. The other girl waited.

“I don’t know… -Nichole started after a minute- dancing at the sound of his grandma´s old vinyl records or when he taught me to bake or maybe the times when we watched the night sky from his backyard” she stopped herself

“Awwwww –Mari cooed- sounds like you had a sweet, sweet time with him and by the way, he taught you well” she winked. Marissa wanted to ask more details about those memories but she had one more question left, only one. -Will you tell me how he asked you out?”

“I asked him out” Nic smirked

“Really?!”

“No”

“Aww you said I could ask three questions”

“And you asked them, I never said I´d answer them”

“Nini!! You´re a trickster! Evil!” Mari pouted

“I am a monster –Nic smiled a bright smile- nice to meet you”

“Was it bad? Was it weird? Did you really ask him?”

“Aw, shut up –Nic rolled her eyes- he asked me out, like this” she showed her a painting in which Ashley was leaning on his elbows on a table, his chin resting on both his hands. A cap backwards on his head, a blue t-shirt with the words “This is ME” in bold letters and many bracelets on his wrists, there were beaded ones, braided ones, leather ones, plastic ones…He had a smile on his mouth and the slightest hint of a blush on his cheeks, expectation in his bright eyes. In front of him there were several cupcakes in a line, four with the shape of red roses as frosting, the next two with blue frosting and candy sprinkles on top, the last cupcake of the line was a white one. Marissa looked up Nichole for an explanation.

“Ash invited me to his house on a Saturday afternoon… when I arrived there was music playing, the old kind of music –a tiny smiled appeared on Nic´s mouth- his grandma liked that music and he´d gotten a liking for it. I thought she was there but she had gone to his aunt’s but I didn’t make much of the music…”

“What song was it, do you know?” Mari asked excited, Nic´s smile disappeared “ok, ok, continue, I won´t interrupt again”

“He opened the door for me, said he had something for me, I assumed it was food, the house smelled like fresh baked bread, I was right –she had a satisfied smile on her face- he took me to the kitchen and on the kitchen island I saw the cupcakes, he asked me to turn around and close my eyes –Nic laughed quietly as she shook her head- he was so crazy but I decided to indulge him, after a few minutes he asked me to open my eyes and when I did, he was like that” Nichole pointed at the drawing.

“See, I didn’t draw the whole thing but what´s missing here are the letters on top of each cupcake –Nichole pointed at the first rose cupcake- D, A –she had pointed at the next cupcake, spelling letters- T and E –was the last rose cupcake, she continued with the blued one- M and E- and finally she pointed to the white one- this one had a heart shape on top” she said with a soft smile gracing her lips.

“Awwwww that’s the cutest thing ever! –Marissa squealed- What happened next?”

“I stared” Nichole said as she remembered

“They taste good, made them myself” Ashley still with his chin on his hands said

“I´m sure” a younger Nichole said in her memory as she reached for the one with the heart shape. “I took a bite and he smiled” Nichole told Marissa

“Just so you know –Ashley had stood up to his full height now- the small letters say that if you take a bite of one you are agreeing” he had a little smirk, the younger Nichole shook her head.

“I´ll eat them all –she had a smirk of her own- even the small letters and you won’t have a proof that they ever existed”

“When I told him that, he walked to the other side of the kitchen island where I was, he stood close behind me and gave me this –Nichole pulled out her cat pendant from her shirt- then he came to stand in front of me, took my hand and said ‘be my girlfriend, kitten’ and I just took another bite of the cupcake” a little laugh escaped Nichole´s mouth

“That is so sweet, Nini! You should tell me more stories!” Mari said as Nic caressed the cat pendant between her fingers. Ash had been great, had known her without her even saying a word and yet he didn’t really know her at all. She sighed.

“How about this one? How did you get it?  -Marissa touched the other pendant hanging from the same silver chain- if it’s in the same chain it must be important” Marissa eyed the other pendant curiously, Nichole shook her head as she pulled the pendant from Mari’s fingers and hid it back inside her shirt

“You´ve run out of questions” Nichole told her as she calmly walked away to the door right behind her, her room, and once there she locked the door, opened her window, looked down and once she was sure no one was around, jumped out of it. In her mind the lyrics of the song she’d heard the day Ashley Cooper had given her that pendant.

“Everybody finds somebody someplace

There's no telling where love may appear

Something in my heart keeps saying

My someplace is here…”

Wings (Hell Circles side story)

A/N: I was in hell when I wrote this one.

***

As I walked towards my destination I could hear Eon´s clear voice singing a chant. It was almost as if his voice weaved in the air with powerful silver threads. I winced inwardly, it was a little known fact but an angel chant was something powerful, it hurt demons. Eon´s as a fallen angel wasn´t as powerful as it could´ve been if he wasn’t one but it could still hurt a lower demon and cause some mild headache to me, despite this, his voice was beautiful and I loved to listen to it so I continued walking towards Eon´s room.

When I opened the door, he stopped his chant, he looked up to me and smiled, I had to focus in keeping my mouth from hanging open.  He´d never seemed happy to see me, not that I was fooling myself thinking he was happy to see me now, but he´d never smiled at me. He hadn’t even stopped his chanting whenever I entered, until today.

“It was a beautiful chant” I commented as I sat on the chair close to his bed. He nodded slightly, the ghost of his prior smile still visible, lightning his eyes “what did it say?” I decided to ask since he seemed in such good mood. He hesitated. “You don’t have to answer that, it was just curiosity” I said dismissively. He breathed in a couple of deep breaths.

“I was thanking” he said, his eyes half closed and a light tint colored his cheeks as if embarrassed about something

“You are grateful about something” I said unable to hide my surprise, he looked up at me and something flickered in his eyes

“Even down here, The Lord, has favored me” he said humbly as if undeserving. I raised my eyebrows wondering. That didn’t happen; we were abandoned down here, happily abandoned… as if this could ever get close to happiness.

“A favor…?”

“Yes, a miracle” he looked like one of those angel icons from old churches, slightly sad and thoughtful.

“A miracle, Eon?” I could hear the surprise in my voice, that was impossible, we were in hell, he was in a prince of darkness castle, no miracles got done down here, never. Prayers weren’t said and if they were, any of them passed the ceiling. Our curse was to be forgotten and punished in this darkness.

“Yes –he smiled- look” his smile became broader as if he wasn’t able to contain himself. I stared. In the blink of an eye, a pair of white wings sprung from his back. “My wings grew back and they got strong, they… I think they could work” he turned around and flexed them once as if to prove his point. I was amazed; I had seen the residual limb of where his wings had been torn off his shell. Cruel thing, if you ask me. He had not only felt the pain of his human shell, something similar to getting your arms ripped off of your body by being pulled out but also the pain in his real angelic form, some kind of emotional pain, but twice or thrice that amount but now, he was happy, a tempered happiness that filled the room like warm sun touching your skin when you´re cold. I smiled a sideway smile.

“Wings…” I said like an echo, he turned around, his expression fell a little

“Well –he started- I… don´t know if I they could really… if I could…” fly was the unsaid word

“His word will be completed in you” I said almost believing it´d happen, almost touching faith, it avoided my tainted self. He stared at me, first with wide eyes of surprise and then with a pleasant smile, his green eyes bored in mine, those eyes made my knees weak but I stood. I was not used to weakness.

“Hungry?” I raised an eyebrow as I walked toward him; he took a step back, closer to the mirror on the further wall of the room. I could see the wanting in his eyes; it had been a couple of days since the last time he´d fed. I smirked as I extended my hand to him. He shook his head ever so slightly and I dropped my hand. He walked passed me, around me, as he flexed his shoulders up making his wings disappear, two long slits were torn in his shirt. Midway he stopped and turned around to face me.

“Do you…?” he started but stopped shaking his head a little

“Yes?” I prompted. It had been a struggle to make him talk to me, so I cherished every word. What a joke of a demon I am, cherishing words. I might be bored… yeah…

“Never mind…” he shied away

“What is it? Ask anything” I smirked as I extended both my arms and looked at him from head to toe, he stared for a moment, he never did as I said, so I thought he was not going to say anything

“Do you have wings?” he asked softly as I took slowly paced in front of him. I stopped to show him my smirk. I had an idea; it was the type that made him take a step back

“I do” I replied, he was silent, I got rid of my jacket and shirt

“What are you doing?” his voice harsh, with an edge of alarm in it

“I´m showing them to you –I winked- which is a high privilege, I don’t show those to anybody”

“Why?” he ignored my arrogant statement, his eyes bored on mine, I sighed, I hated this type of showing myself but then the angel had what I wanted, was what I wanted…

“They make me look like a crow” I mumbled as I willed my wings out, Eon´s breath caught in his throat

“Magnificent” he whispered, to me it was loud as if he´d shout the words; it was like a ripple of water against me. I had never liked my wings, they were black like every other demon´s but instead of that charcoal black they all had, mine resembled those of a crow, some shine that made them look blue depending on the light. Through the centuries, Yotta, Nitio and Luce had teased me since forever for the strange color in them, only because they were either my equal or my superior in rank, the rest, whoever dared to even mention it had been vanished to the deepest darkest places of hell. I disliked my wings and never spread them out nor showed them but now for Eon I did and was rewarded with a look of awe from his green eyes.

“Can I…?” he reached out a hand as if to touch one of them but quickly recoiled

“Go on, I don’t mind” I said as disinterested as I could. I was a good liar so I think I looked disinterested. Eon took a step forward, not looking at my face but as if fascinated in the way his hand reached to the top of my left wing, he brushed his open palm over the edge of it.

He was touching me, a part of me that was way more private than any other part of me, shivers ran down my spine and I forced myself to close my eyes, I knew he´d hate the look on my face if he saw my eyes. When his hand reached the tip of my wing he took the black feathers between two of his fingers and caressed the length of it, a jolt of energy went through me. I was a lust demon so that really didn’t help matters; I forced myself to change to my original form, less likely that it showed the burning in me. Eon let go of my wing and circled around me, his fingertips lightly brushing the back of my wing until he got to my back where he put both his palms flat on my shoulder blades, from where my wings protrude, my knees buckled, I stopped it. He was killing me and draining the self-control I wasn’t at all glad to keep yet I was willing to do my best to keep to so that I could have him touching me and he did. His fingers threated between my feathers going to the inside, under them, to the soft ones below. I groaned, unable to stop myself. At this, he pulled his hand out making me open my eyes wide

“Did I hurt you?” his hand rested on my shoulder very softly. I cleared my throat

“No.  Tickles” I lied, I heard a tiny chuckle

“Tickles… I´ll stop then”

“It´s alright, caught me by surprise there” I downplayed it. We were silent for a while, I looked over my shoulder. “I´ll fold them now” I said, he nodded and I carefully fold them, before I could turn around, once again I felt his hands on me, on my folded wings

“They´re huge” he said in barely a whisper

“It´s not the only huge thing I´ve got” I wanted to say but kept it to myself, “So, hungry?” I said instead and turned around, knowing my self-control wouldn’t hold any longer. All I wanted was to grab him and pin him under me… I had to stop that train of thought; I walked towards the bed, the whole two steps, sat and lay there, wings under me. One of them only barely spread, my arms at my sides, my eyes closed. After a while I felt the bed dipping at my side. I wanted to smirk but I controlled my features.

“A white feather” he leaned over my side, his stomach on mine, and his hand on my semi-extended wing “I didn’t know demons…”

“I´m the only one with that… it´s just one on the inside, easy to hide” I moved my wing slightly, hiding the white feather, he threaded his fingers between the feathers and lightly moved them, made it so the single white feather was visible

“Looks good” he moved to see me, until then he seemed to realize how close to my face he was and I couldn’t help but to tempt him to do what I knew we both wanted, ok, what I wanted, since for him it was actually a need. A need, I particularly liked that.

Slowly through my slightly parted lips I let out some energy, from there and only from there, his eyes threatened to close but they remained open, slowly as if pulled he came closer and closer, the closer he was, the harder was for me to control all myself, so the energy flow grew but that only seemed to pull him even closer until the gap between us disappeared. He was eager, I couldn’t complain. His soft lips urged my mouth to open and I did, more than glad to oblige. After a moment, he separated from me for a second only to grab my face with both hands and tilt it to a side, he explored my mouth and I lost it, my wings spread and wrapped themselves around Eon´s body….

I did keep my arms on my sides but my wings covered him complete, it was as good as touching him with my hands. For a moment I thought he´d moved away but instead he only deepened the kiss which almost caused me to turn us around and get away with what I wanted but I stopped when I heard a low moan coming from him. It made me realize I had lost control of the hold in my energy and instead of coming only from my mouth it exuded through my body, through my feathers and he was being a glutton, one of the seven sins, I liked it, made me smirk, trust me to make a fallen angel more tainted.

Eon went limp. I got momentarily scared but he was still breathing, flushed but breathing, I chuckled and turned him over so that he was on his back. “Rest well, Eon” I stole a kiss of his slightly open mouth and left the room with an idiotic grin in my face and my wings still out.

mint and smoke (ff)

A/N: I´ll post this one before I lose my nerve! hahaha This is a slash-y fanfiction of two of my fav boys from one of my dear friend´s story: Dom and Pat. It´s really like a scene more than a real ff. It´s a bit scary because I dont know if I did them well but here it is. It sort of makes me happy because it´s the first thing I publish after a long long time!!
Have a laugh at this Saku!!!
****

“You´ll pay for that so you better start explaining!” narrowed brown eyes stared at me with that familiar piercing gaze

“Yeah?” I raised an eyebrow, not recoiling an inch, that piercing gaze that was being directed to me had no effect on me. No. it did have a huge effect just not fear, no, those brown eyes could never make me fear. I held Dominic´s gaze as a barely imperceptible smile formed in my lips. whoopps too late, he noticed it.

The lean boy right next to me narrowed his yes even more as he jumped on me. Wresting, playfully fighting, it was only the two of us, late at night. We´d been playing some racing video game and I had cheated out of boredom making my best friend lose the game right when he was about to win.

I laughed as I wrestled with Dominic, he´s smaller but strong. I’m sure that despite our size differences if this wasn’t playing we´d be pretty much even. Dom´s inner strength makes up for whatever size or strength difference we might have, but playful or not, I had to win and I know he feels the same way.

I managed to pin Dominic under me, my legs on either side of his hips, my forearms pressing his shoulders and my hands around his wrists, because he was strong I had to use all my body and in a second I noticed how close we were, I noticed my best friend´s messy hair, his brown eyes that reminded me of some kind of drink we´d had together, a drink that´d scorched our tongues and throats but that would make us take another drink and another, such were those eyes.

A glint of one of Dom´s many piercings brought me back to reality. Dominic´s eyebrow had gone up ever so slightly questioning, his eyes moved a little, studying my face. I did the same until I noticed he was wearing a smirk as he looked at my mouth which was slightly opened and who knows for how long it had been that way.

“So, how do you like to have me pinned under you?” he said as the side of his lips curled up. It was like the wind had been knocked out of me. I needed air. I needed a cigarette, badly. I will forever wonder how he manages to be the one in control even when he´s not the one in control.

“Seems like you like it just fine from up here” I said not backing away. I could be lightheaded but I wouldn’t buckle, though in a way I did because without noticing I had lowered myself onto him. Our noses practically touching, our chests did touch every time I breathed. Dominic raised both eyebrows, like a “what now?” or a “do you dare to…?” and I dared.

I leaned all the way down at the same time that I let free on of his hands. I took his mouth in mine, savoring his smirk, minding much the hot shape of his lips that drives girls and guys equally crazy. This was no soft kiss; this was a hard kiss where I took my chance to finally explore his mouth.

Finally.

such a hard pix to find >_<

We´d kissed before, on dares, on drunken nights after a party, on the insistence of the girls but never like this. He´d never had any scruples invading my mouth when those times happened, my mouth or anybody´s mouth for that matter, the guy likes kissing hard and good and he never left unsatisfied but I had never kissed him, not like this. I had always been able to feel his snaky tongue and taste afterwards but this time I wanted my taste to linger in him, smoke and mints in his mouth, I wanted to turn his lips red with mine and so I went for it, unapologetic, he didn’t complain, he kissed me back, playfully at first like all those other times and then he was with me, only with me like when we talk about everything and nothing.

I felt him free his other hand from mine; it went to my neck, his rough fingertips brushing the bones in my back. I pulled him closer to me and touched under his jacket, under his sweater.

“Enjoying yourself?” his breath tickled in my ea. I felt him smile against me as clearly as the cool metal bars and rings in his face contrasted with my hot skin

“You´re not bad, man” I chuckled because I sound less cool than what I had expected. We had managed to sit up, his body on my lap. I pulled him again to me and by the look in his eyes I could tell he was having a great time with my insistence, the jerk loved it.

It was a kiss that left me out of breath, my chest rising quick, he let go a little and kissed me one more time. I took his lip between my teeth and he tasted me, he chuckled, ruffled my hair as I was still trying to catch my breath.

“You should consider quit smoking –he said with a serious expression. I raised an eyebrow slightly annoyed, his expression melted into a relaxed, a playful one- you´re out of breath too quick. Can’t keep up” he smirked as he adjusted my discarded gray beanie back on my head. I watched him with a blank expression as I blew the smoke of my recently lit cigarette in his face. He popped a mint in his mouth; it was my time to smirk…

The Wolf and the Moon

There was a time when the moon could walk on earth in the shape of a beautiful woman. But she could only be among human with a condition: as a woman, no man shall touch her . If that were to happen, both -the moon and the men- will die. She kept the condition as a bow, as a promise.

Once, the moon was walking around when she heard the most beatifull song her ear had ever heard. The song came from a singing at the sky, aimless. He was singing like she was not there. The moon knew she could not get closer. Every day the moon came and heard the same song and see the same man. Once, dragged deep into the man´s song, the moon got spotted by him. She ran away.

Aware of his new friend, the man sang louder just to be heard. Every day, both the man and the moon enjoyed each other without even looking their faces, without even talking.  The man singing and the moon’s presence was all they could have.

On a  rainy day, as always, the moon waited for the man, hidden in the same spot, but he never came. The moon worried. She realized his mortal heart was not like hers. She had fallen in love. The next day,  she waited, but the man never came.

The moon had nothing of her beloved man but the the memory of his song. She made up her mind and decided to travel looking for the one that owned her heart. She traveled singing the  song at the plaza of every town she went in, hoping the man would hear it. Every time: singing, hoping, praying to be heard by the man she loved. Her faith was running out, her hope was perishing. The man would not appear anymore, she had to give up.

In her way back, the moon decided to visit the place where she found love. “I was waiting for you " said the man sat on the same place they met "this time I want to hear you" continued the man. Like there was no tomorrow, the moon sang. Singing just for him. Then they talked like old friends until the sunrise ... There was something wrong, love blinded the moon and for that at sunrise the moon and the men would die. 

What could be done? That was a forbidden love. The moon refused to leave the man. Filled with anger, she escaped with the man. The sun was given the order to track them down. They avoided the sun as far as they could, but one day the sun caught the moon. At that very same moment, the moon and the man made a promise: the man should sing every night to his beloved moon and the moon will dance at his song. The moon sacrificed her immortal body to turn the man into a Wolf. Her soul escaped to the sky.

Until this day, the sun keeps chasing the moon and every night the man sings at his beloved moon while she dances changing her shape. The sun will never catch the moon. The love of the moon and the man will never perish.

Written by: J.U (Pandaboy)

*****

A/N: It seems that lately I´ve been publishing old, finished stuff, this one came to my mind.

I can be very -more so than usually- when I´m bored and five or maybe six years ago when this story was written, I use to bug whoever I was chatting with to "tell me an interesting story" this one was given to me one of those times by some guy... I liked it. I had to stalk a friend´s FB page to find his name, he was never really my friend but I guess we could´ve been, he told good stories. Five or six years ago I asked him if I could publish this story here, he said I could so I´m finally doing it. I wonder if I should let him know... though I´m leaning for not doing so since when we last spoke we ended in less than friendly terms... Also I just wrote the first letter of his name and last name since I´m not sure if he would´ve wanted his name all over the internet but I don´t mind writing the nickname I used for him hahaha

From My Senses

"Thank you for being you"

Your words were hot knife going through butter. I liked those words. I didn’t like your shoes. I loved the color of the sky layered over your pearl-like skin. You sat somewhat apart and then looked for excuses to squeeze yourself in the little space left at my right. You apologized for your smell; you had walked to school under the sun. I just shook my head “no”, yours is the best one I´ve ever smelled.

It was hot yet I was shivering by being next to you. I didn’t feel close enough even if we were only a couple centimeters away. I talked and talked to the rest of ears. I turned to see you and my mind went blank. I could only see your rosy, blushed cheeks. I wonder if blood rushed to mine as I watched you.

Why the sound of our voice becomes a whisper when talking to the other? Being next to me had some effect in you? You were so unfocused. Where were you? I asked. What were you looking at? I teased you this time.

Ah, love, I´ve missed you. I wonder if I will ever stop loving you. Being with you is wishing time to stop. Being with you is coming out of my body and levitating towards you. Being next to you is forgetting how to think. Being with you is wishing to see with my skin and touch with my ears.

So little, we say so little and I feel so much. I only stole glances of you right next to me, but I saw everything on you. I saw that you changed your glasses. I saw you had a green rubber band on your hair. I saw you changed your converse shoes for other type of sneakers. I saw that your hair is longer and I saw that your hands are as lovely as they´ve always been. Your nails are shorter than they use to be. I heard each one of your words. I heard you being a little embarrassed. I noticed you changed your perfume. I felt you are as warm as ever. I noticed you were unfocused, almost babbling, almost mumbling, and almost stuttering.

You said goodbye more than once but didn´t move to go. I was very aware of our shapes after saying and hugging goodbye for the third time. We were hugging so tightly, like a magnet. Electricity and who knows what other nature powers working their magic. You didn´t leave until I turned my back to say hi to someone else. You were gone when I turned back. I missed you since the first goodbye. We´ve missed each other, I concluded.

Later, I spent time re-living the afternoon. I noticed I had ignored some people. I saw something in her eyes. I saw her looking at us. Does she feel deep inside something for you? For a fraction of a second I could see something in her eyes. It felt tense for a second. I know you see her. You´ve talked a lot about her, but does she see you?

She was included in your trip. You told me about it. I saw the pictures. You said you wanted me in your trip but knew you were going to be glued to me. You said you preferred to keep that idea on your mind. It´s like you can´t avert your attention from me if I´m around, that´s what your words told me. I would´ve loved to have you glued to me.

I don´t know if I´m happy. I am happy but somewhere inside it hurts that so many emotions are going through me, yet they are nothing, they’ll never fully reach you. Thank you for thanking me for being me. You always manage to be the one with the nicer compliments in such economy of words.

****

-Original tittle: Visit

-Written on May 4^th 2012

-Another one found under the "Seven Days" label. I wish I could´ve done it better... A more diluted version of what it is hahaha 

Transparent

This is the story of a girl who lived in a crystal house right on the edge of a cliff. She had a marvelous view of the blue sky and the purple mountains far away, the grass was green covered with tiny wild flowers…. Her home transparent, it was all empty and colorless, a bubble only for her.

The sunlight woke her up with soft light that as minutes and hours went by made her recoil to a corner, curled, the sun hurt her eyes magnified by the glass yet in the afternoon hours she spent hours gazing at the tiny flowers that grew just outside the glass, no door to get out, no window to climb out… only her eyes to go out… The day kept going by, the moon and the stars promised a better tomorrow but sometimes clouds covered it all and darkness swallowed her with her crystal house. In the middle of it all she curled, hugged herself trying to find a shelter from the darkness outside.

One day, she´d had enough; she paced and paced since the sunrise to the sunshine. “What will I do? I am getting out today” she decided over and over. Her house was no frail place, she pushed the glass and nothing happened, she tried to lure the birds, the rabbits, the deer… anyone that could help her… they could not listen, so in the end, she braced herself… “I´ll break it with my own hands if I have to” she said to herself and she went for it.

One blow, it hurt but nothing happened, “one more time” she commanded herself and she hit with all her strength… it almost felt like the glass had cracked but when she saw, what had changed had been her. Her fist, her hand was now transparent glass. She moved her new transparent fingers as she felt her heart beating fast… the sun made the hand glow… tiny little rainbows came out… little lights dancing everywhere.

“Maybe now that I´m glass too, I´ll break it” she tried again, harder this time. The glass made a cracking sound and as it did so her arm, shoulder, neck, chest and everything else in her did… she wasn´t breaking though, she´d started to turn glass, slow motion yet so fast. She looked away as if trying to escape turning into glass but it was too late… she was glass now, hard, transparent glass… her eyes were the last to change, the last thing she ever saw was the inside of her crystal cage… it seemed she was running inside when all she wanted was to run outside…

The night came, darker than ever… her house was transparent…. The sun rose, brighter than ever… her house was transparent, no one saw it; she was as transparent as her crystal house.

****

A/N

"Tell me an interesting story" I don´t know how many times I´ve said that... somehow this one came up to be like that but not really, the moment I said "I´ll make you one instead" it started to happen in my mind, so clear and quick... by the time I offered to make the story instead of asking it, it was already done and as I already know, writing does calm me down, makes me feel better... I'm glad this little one happened, it was a surprise that I even got to think of it. I´ve been asked to tell stories before and I´ve always said no to that and for the one person that didn´t want it, it happened... My brain works in funny ways.