Double Life: Tweedledum and Tweedledee

“Are you coming Nicky?” Aarons´ voice said and her blood boiled. She stood up, turned to him and managed to stop before slapping him
“I told you not to call me like that” she grabbed her bad and walked away.

She heard footsteps behind her; she had memorized those footsteps by then. She rubbed her forehead with exasperation as she tried to calm down. She knew it had been very impulsive to try to slap Aaron even though she had stopped, anything could´ve happened, bandage or not. The guy seemed to have a talent to make her mad but how she could slip like that when she’d done years of training to avoid acting on impulse, she wondered.

“I´m sorry” Aaron said catching up to her. ” I had forgotten you disliked being called like that”
“It´s ok” she looked ahead
“You ok?” Josh´s voice asked at her other side. She looked at him. His expression worried. The corner of her mouth lifted up a little
“I’m ok” she lightly brushed her now gloved hands on the back of his hand. He relaxed as he smiled.
They walked in silence. She walked a couple of steps ahead of the twins.
“Later, Josh” she said when they got to her building “Aaron” she nodded to him and turned to leave.
“I´m sorry” Aaron apologized again. She kept walking but raised a hand and waved as to acknowledge his apology and then she entered the building.

“Why doesn’t she like being called Nicky, it suits her” Aaron spoke first
“I don´t know” Josh shrugged.
“How come?  Aren’t you always with her?”
“So? It´s not like she talks much, besides why not to call her as she likes to be called?”
“yeah… I thought she was actually going to slap me… I bet you didn´t convince her to go to town with us”
“After you making her mad do you think she’d be going even if I had convinced her?”
“The point here is that you couldn´t convince her” Aaron smirked “So, it´s just us to town then, we´ll look for Brighton and the others there…”
“I´m not going” Josh said and Aaron stopped
“Why not?”
“Got other plans”
“What can you possibly do here that´s more fun than going out?” they had started to walk again
“Stuff”
Aaron´s eyes grew wider with realization “You´re staying with Nichole aren’t you?”
“Yeah” it was Josh´s turn to smirk
“You didn´t convince her to go to town but to stay with you” Aaron accused
“She didn´t want to go and I highly doubt she´d want to go with you there after making her mad” Josh wouldn´t say it but he was as curious as his twin to know why she´d gotten so mad.
“I´m staying too”
“You don´t even know what we´ll be doing”
Aaron raised his eyebrows “more reason to stay”
“You´re crazy” Josh shook his head amused
Instead of going back to his own building, Aaron went to Josh´s room with him.

“Can I use your TV?” Josh asked his roommate while his twin was in the restroom.
“Sure, You´re not going to town?” the boys asked incredulous, the whole school waited for the time to left the place
“Nah, I´ll just watch TV”
The boy looked at Josh as if he was crazy but shrugged and left. Josh changed and so did Aaron taking Josh´s clothes and throwing his uniform to the dirty cloth basket but missing. “You´d better pick that up” Josh ordered but Aaron ignored it.

An hour had passed. Josh was playing some video game in his laptop while Aaron was lying on his twin´s bed looking at the ceiling.
“This is so freaking boring. Didn’t you say you were going to stay with Nichole?”
“Yes. I didn´t say you were going to stay with her though”
“What? –Aaron rolled to his side to glare at his twin that was still very focused on his game- You´re ditching her to annoy me?”

Another half hour passed.
“Screw this! I´m leaving” Aaron said already opening the door “Nichole!”
Josh turned on his chair, his eyes wide, he´d never seen her enter his room from the door. She had also changed her uniform for a pair of black jeans, a gray t-shirt and a long sleeved shirt over. Josh noticed she was wearing her gloves and not just the bandage again.

“Can I come in?” she broke the silence. Aaron quickly moved and then closed the door.
“Where´s the TV?” She asked Josh who got up and opened the closet doors and then removed the cloth and blankets that covered the TV to put them on his roommate´s bed.
“I don´t know what movies you like but I brought a few” she opened her bag and there was the smell of pop-corn “my bag will be smelly now” she handed two bags of microwave pop-corn to him
“How did you?” Aaron started
“I went to the cafeteria” she rolled her eyes and Josh laughed. He took out some of his roommate´s movies and handed them to her. Aaron had felt like glued to the place he´d been but now was walking towards them. They both looked at him. He felt her stare pierced him.
“Can I stay?” he asked and his voice sounded smaller than usual. He coursed inwardly for that. Josh looked at Nichole. She shrugged and produced a can of soda that she handed to Josh, a bottle of tea that she opened for herself and another can that she tossed to Aaron. He was dumbfounded.
“You brought one for me” He looked at her. She shrugged while going through the CD¨s “You knew I´d be here?”
“Well, that was the plan” she handed Josh a movie for them to watch.
“What?” the twins asked at once.
“You wanted you, your twin and I to go to the movies in town –she pointed Aaron- and you –she pointed Josh- were trying to convince me to go to town with you both too… wasn´t watching a movie the plan? I´d figured the location wouldn´t matter” she shrugged again. The twins looked at her as if she had grown a third yes. “I know I´m easy on the eye and pretty to ogle but I think we were here to watch a movie not me” She looked at them and they looked away.

“Could you put this on the desk” she asked Aaron handing him two of his twin’s notebooks that she´d borrowed. Aaron had been sitting next to her while Josh was putting the movie. Josh came back and sat in his twin´s place. Aaron had to sit next to his brother since there was no space to the other side of her.
The movie started. It was a comedy, she liked comedies.
“How did you get up here?” Aaron asked
“The dorm supervisor´s gone to town and his substitute was asleep so I just walked in” she explained. The twins laughed.
After the first movie they watched an action movie, when it ended, Josh and Aaron put the TV back under the blankets and the clothes in the closet and then the three of them went to have an early dinner at around six.

“I thought there was not going to be dinner” one of the twins commented
“Yeah, since everybody is out” the other finished. Nic shook her head
“The teachers that stayed, the dorm supervisors, the rest of the staff and the students that stayed have to eat something” she said amused.
They stayed inside the cafeteria; it was almost empty besides some teachers and a few scattered students. When they finished each picked their trash and exited. It was dark already.
“I´ll walk you to your building” both boys said at the same time. The corners of her mouth shot up a little
“You´re funny boys. I´m fine though, an afternoon with tweedledum and tweedledee is enough for me” she joked and the twins narrowed their eyes at the same time in fake annoyance. She laughed and so did they. “Later, twins” she waved and walked away.

“It´s rude to stare” she said shaking her head but still looking ahead. Both boys averted their gaze quickly as they heard her chuckle.
“She´s got eyes on her back or something” Aaron said and they too walked to their own room.

*****Ha! as promissed! weee! three posts of Double Life in two days!!!
--btw why is it that when you look for "twins" in google, what you get is tons of pictures of the Olsen twins?? they were famous -note the "were" ´cause now they do nothing... --mini rant over--

Double Life: Company

“So, you were absent” he looked at her . He was so much like Josh yet so different, they looked exactly the same, minus for the mole, but they were different, she felt their stance was very different.

“mmhh” she hummed

“Did Josh passed you a cold last time you two were together” he asked after a while with malicious tone

“I thought I´d passed it to him” Nic replied not affected at all for Aaron´s comment.

“Whatt?? So you did more than what he said” it seemed that he talked more to himself than to her.

“Yeah, I told him not to but he wouldn´t listen” her voice was unaffected, as if she was just talking about the weather.

“What?” he said stopping altogether

 She was having a hard time not laughing

“But I guess he liked it a lot since he ended up talking it all”

“You… he… what??” his eyes were two times his usual size, she kept walking and he walked faster to catch up to her

“That’s why I took his when we left”

“Eh? wait you took his… what?” his eyes were wide and confused. She lifted her hand and shook a bottle of cold green tea in front of his face

“He took your tea” he said  looking away. She nodded and he sighed.

“what did you think?”  She asked innocently. She had have fun teasing him despite the fact that Aaron usually annoyed her

“Nothing” he murmured.

“So, movie night…” he said gaining his stance back “When´s the next?” She shrugged.. “ok, what if you come to the movies with me –she started to mentally roll her eyes- and Josh for the coming end of the month?” she was sure he only added Josh there for her to accept. He didn´t know better.

The last Friday and Saturday of every month the students were allowed to go out to the town, this was going to be in a week.

“I don’t think so” she said

“Why not? Don´t tell me you don´t like movies”

“Take Michelle, she´ll be happy to go with you and your brother”

He made a face. She stopped at the doors of the dorm building and bent down to tie her untied shoelace.

“Just leave my bag and books there” she pointed to her side “thank you, it was kind of you to help me” she smiled before he could say anything else or protest. He blinked, it was the first time he had seen her smile and even more, her smile to him.

Once he left she got up regretting that it hadn´t been Josh the one to offer to help because she had to bent to pretend she was tying her shoelace which had caused her stitches to stretch and hurt and she also had to bend to pick up her things. She sighed.

The week had gone uneventful and despite the slight pain that she had she was glad she had been wounded, that meant a whole three weeks of no calls from her father; if she was lucky it would be four. Natasha had told to her father to let her rest for four weeks or at least three. She should´ve said four –Nic thought- but that was better than a call every week, or more.

It was lunch while she was thinking this, surprisingly  Aaron hadn’t bothered her about going to town after that first time but she found suspicious that he kept offering to help her with her things every day since she returned unless Josh had offered first in which case both twins walked at either side of her. She didn’t like it at all.

“Are you going to drop your bag in your room?” Josh asked, that was what he asked before offering to help her. It was a bit earlier than usual though.

“Nope, I didn´t bring much today since the afternoon is free. It´s not heavy”

“I see. …” there was silence and she knew he wanted to say something else. ”Are you going to town today?” there it is, she thought

“No, I´ll just stay here”

“Nic, come with us, please” he smiled

“Us?” She raised an eyebrow. He had been hopping she didn´t notice that.

“Yeah,  Aaron and I”

She shook her head at the time she slightly wrinkled her nose.

“It will be fun”

“Right, remember last time we went there?” she sounded a little irked

“I highly doubt that will happen again…”

“You never know…”

“But it was fun… you know…before… that”.

She chuckled not amused --he was talking of the day he had gotten shot.

“How is it that you still see the bright side of it?”

“Don’t you think it was fun?”

 “I guess” she pondered about it.

“You see?  It´ll be fun this time too, so let´s go”

“I rather not go out with your brother and you…  All the kids from her will be there”

“Aaron will behave…”

She laughed at that.

“You sound like his mother now”

Josh blushed “Whatever… will you go?”

She remained silent. She knew that she could go away easily without saying a thing but he was right, she had have fun, something she hardly ever did except when being with Mii

“Don’t be scared-Josh said starling her though it wasn’t visible – it will be ok” he smiled. She looked at him intently. He had seen through her, she was indeed scared that the twins got hurt by being with her. She sighed

“I´m not going”

Josh´s face seemed somewhat sad. She frowned

“Movies”

Jos looked at her confused

“Your roommate has a TV right? We can watch movies”

Josh´s demeanor went back to his usual manner.

“I´ll bring some of mine”

Double Life: Surprises

The next day a pair of loud shoes woke Nichole up.

“Can´t you wear normal shoes, Nat?” she growled.

“These are normal shoes, Nichole. And yes, I´m glad to see you too”

Natasha put a bandage and a pair of long black silk gloves over Nichole´s bed. She sighed and sat up feeling a sharp pain and some dizziness. She started to take off her pajamas as Natasha put some pants and long sleeved shirt next to her. The bandage and the gloves were the first things she wore. Natasha motioned to help her but she made a stop sign with her hands.

“We don´t know if my whole skin has its ability back” Nic said when Natasha didn´t stop

“You´re awake now, your hands are the only ones deadly, well, your right hand only” Natasha replied confident.

“You can´t be one hundred percent sure” Nichole insisted causing Natasha to smile.

“Thanks for your concern –Natasha said as she helped Nic with her shirt- but I´m a hundred percent sure” Nichole´s eyes were questioning “You´re a good girl” Natasha touched the tip of Nic´s nose. Nic quickly moved away from her. Natasha hid a smile and Nichole glared as she stood.

They walked in silence out of the room and the rest of the way through the empty halls. This time the driver was waiting at the entrance of the dorms. The building supervisor got the permission and they drove off.

“Hey! I thought you wouldn´t come until Monday” Josh greeted her walking faster to get to her. Nichole didn´t remove her eyes from the window. He smiled shaking his head not offended at all.

“I like this view” she said and he heard the humor in her voice.

“I´ve noticed” he sat on the desk next to hers “So, how are you doing?”

She turned to see him as she produced a small white box that he hadn´t noticed. He was surprised. She was giving him a gift. He opened the box and saw a squared piece of cake.

“Mii was upset that she was taken away the day of your party and somehow she found out I was at the house and made her way to me. She brought cake. She sent you that one”

“Wow” was all that he managed to say remembering that day she had been very sad when he found her staring at the road, now it made sense.

“mmh” she turned back to look at the window.

“So, it helped you to get better to have Mii there?” he had noticed how happy she seemed to get when Camille was around, even now she looked happy. She huffed.

“On the contrary” she tried to sound irritated. Josh raised his eyebrows and she chuckled softly “she kept trying to get me out of bed by jumping on it”

“Didn´t you tell her it hurt you?”

“I went home because I had a cold” her tone serious

“oh, a bad cold…”

“I´m asthmatic” she said solemn, his eyes widened as she shook her head slightly. His mouth made an O shape as she half smiled. They were silent.

“Will you eat that or not?” she asked breaking the silence between them. She looked him straight to the eye.

“Yeah” he quickly took a piece of it with the small fork that was inside the box. He thought it was strange to eat cake so early in the morning but somehow it seemed important for her that he eat it.

During the break she stayed in her seat, he went out after asking her if she was coming. She was still there when he came back; he guessed she was still feeling pain, after all he remembered how painful it had been for him when he had been wounded.

At lunch time, as always, she grabbed her things and walked away from the crowds of students except that she walked slower than usual to the cafeteria line. Josh was only a person behind her on the line. She paid but took her time putting away the change the cafeteria lady gave her. When Josh paid she started to walk to the gardens, Josh followed. The sat on a table under a tree.

“Take some” she said taking a fry when she noticed Josh had been glancing at her fries. He was a little startled at the offering

“Take what you want from my plate” Josh offered finally taking a fry

“I don´t like pasta” she simply said.

“I wanted fries buy I really wanted pasta” he took another fry. She chuckled

“So what? You should´ve ordered both”

“Pasta and fries?”

“yeah… I´m eating fries and smashed potatoes” she pointed out

“mmhh you’re the only girl I know that would mix two sources of calories like that”

 “ psshhh I couldn´t care less about that” she rolled her eyes

“Well you do lots of exercise to compensate”

“Who says that?” she lifted an eyebrow. He furrowed his eyebrows a little. He hadn´t really seen her doing any w0rkout and she didn´t play sports, she stayed back in p.e but he was sure that to be able to jump out of a window of a two story building she had to be strong… and to easily climb up too and to walk on wall edges too. He saw her smirk a little and he wondered if he had made a face.

“Maybe I just have a very fast metabolism”

“Do you?”

“I swim” she said going back to eat her food.

“I´ve never seen you” he said remembering that there was a class in the indoor pool of the school that Aaron attended to

!” I took the art class instead” she provided guessing that he meant he hadn´t seen her in the swimming class.

“Then…”

“I got permission to go there in my spare time” she said nonchalantly but he could see her cheeks coloring a shade darker of pink. His eye brows shot up. ”wow, how nice of your family to get you that special permission” he said sincerely recalling what he knew of her father and his ways towards her. She scoffed.

“I had to pay for that” she said as if it was the most obvious thing

“What?” he gasped and before he could ask anything more a voice interrupted

“So, when´s the next movie night?” Aaron sat on the seat between Josh and Nichole.

“You´re not invited” Nichole answered and the corners of her mouth twitched a up a little. Aaron was silent for a little bit.

“Then I´m telling that you have a TV… and maybe some more”

She raised both her eyebrows “Go tell”  her voice calm.

“I wouldn´t do that to a friend” he said smiling charmingly. Her expression was bored.

“Did you take accurate notes?” she asked Josh completely ignoring Aaron

“Yeah, not once I got caught off guard”

“Great, ´cause I need them”

Aaron looked their exchange with curiosity “Have you been absent?” He asked to Nic but looked his brother. She grabbed Josh notebooks

“I´ll take this to my room” she informed Josh, they had the art class next. Ignoring Aaron Josh nodded

“I´ll help you” Aaron grabbed the notebooks. She glared. He hadn´t touched her but he was too close for her liking

“Aaron…” Josh started.

“It´s ok…”  She said despite herself. Josh was evidently taken aback. Aaron smirked and she wondered if she should´ve just gone but the bag with books was heavy and her wounds and bruises thought better weren’t exactly gone.  Walk with the books, Josh’s notebooks and her other things was too much for her to carry all the way to her room. She hated that it was Aaron who offered and that she needed help at all but Natasha had warned her and reminded her that it was worst to let herself be too strained and then faint leaving no way for her to control herself than to ask for a little help though she had suggested the dorm supervisor but she was a big no no on that.

Aaron grabbed her messenger bad leaving his own with Josh. She started to walk and Aaron was next to her still with a smirk on his face.

Fairy tales

Have you ever heard of a prince locked in a tower waiting to be saved?
Have you ever imagined a king needing a queen to be king?
Does it matter if the prince is not beautiful, delicate, virtous? or if he knows how to keep a house?
Does it matter when the king takes another wife? why does the queen never gets another husband chosen just because he´s handsome even though at the end a sorcerer?

The Phone Call

As  always the house was colder than the outside weather, it was an effect that it´s brick walls and the lack of windows, but one, made. It was silent as well, the perks of living on a mountain.
I was still on my pj´s despite it was past noon, I had been wandering in the kitchen for something to eat, no food had entered my mouth since dinner the day before. Suddenly I heard the phone ringing, surprised I slowly walked towards it. It never rang, no one really called us. I picked it.

"Hello?" I said unsure. I guessed it was probably some of those annoying phone-advertisings that the companies seems to have taken into like lately.
"Well, young lady, how come you didn´t come to school today?" a voice said with mockingly scolding tone. The voice had also recognized my voice but I hadn´t recognized to whom this voice belonged, obviously to one of my classmates but who?
"why didn´t you come?" the voice asked again in a normal tone and I recognized the voice. It was a... friend. I hadn´t decide if this person was my friend yet, I wasn´t use to friends so I couldn´t know for sure ... "are you sick?" the voice urged me to answer.
"ah, yeah...I´m sick..." I answered not elaborating and still shocked for the first call I´ve ever gotten.
"aw, I´m sorry. Will you be comming back to school tomorrow?" The voice asked not pressuring me to know what I had but sounding genuine. I didn´t know what to answer, I was not going to go back to school the next day but I didn´t want to be asked why.
"mmmmhh I´m not sure..." I struggled to say expecting the questioning that would surely follow.
"ah, that´s too bad" the voice sounded genuine again, dissappointed maybe that I wasn´t going to be there.
"yeah"
"well, get better soon ´cause we have a lot to do, I signed you with me for the group work we have for science class" the voice said keeping that happy tone that had been used throughout the conversation.
"sure" I replied not knowing what else to answer.
"ok, I have to go now, get better soon!"
"ok, thank you for calling" I said and hung up.

A phone call from a friend is such a normal thing, what friends do, they check up on each other. It was so weird that I got a phone call, so despite it being a very normal and common thing it was a very strange thing to me. I had left me at a loss but somehow I was glad that I had gotten a call. After that I didn´t think much of it, until the next day where I got a similar phone conversation with the same happy voice that had called me the day before...

"I´ll call you" the happy voice said. I was back at school. As promised that afternoon I had a phone conversation of anything in particular. I kept getting phone calls regularly. And when I was sick I got them too with the same greeting line "well, young lady, how come you didn´t come to school today?" but instead of struggling for words I´d chuckle.

After leaving higschool the phone calls were more and more appart but it was ok, I had been the first one to make the intervals between them longer since a year before graduating, in my mind that was the best remedy to certain feelings that got enhanced everytime I heard that happy voice through the phone. One day the phone calls stopped yet in birthdays, Christmast and New Year´s eve there was always a call. It was right and it was good, I was sure my voice now sounded as happy as the voice that was on the other side of the line.

One day I got a phone call, it was no birhtday, no Christmas and no New Year´s eve but I was much more used to get phone calls -not exactly the ones that call you to ask how you are though but phone calls, all the same- I was surprised that it was the happy voice. We conversed for so long, catching up with what we´d done and accomplished and lost during the time we hadn´t see eachother, it was so natural, as if no time had passed, two friends talking.

 "I´m getting married soon" the voice said and I laughed because that was the little joke I had heard for over six years.
"right and I´ll be your bride´s maid and you´ll make me wear an awful dress"
"it´s no joke this time" the voice said keeping the happy tone but being serious at the same time.
"oh,come on!" I said knowing that the happy voice loved to trick me like that.
"hey, no, this time I´m really not joking. Why don´t you believe me?" the voice inquired, maybe a little hurt that I hadn´t believed the statement.
"well, because you always joke about it and... don´t you think you´re too young for marriage?" I said still shocked and once again, like many years ago, at a loss for words.
"I´m old enough to marry -the voice said jokingly- and this time, I´m not joking about it" There was silence between us for about a minute.
"wow! then, congratulations" I managed to say feeling my eyelids heavy and my eyes somehow in pain trying to hold back a stream that was forming. Was I about to cry?

We kept talking about weddings, dates, if I was being invited or not. I congratulated again and worded my best wishes as well as happiness. When the phone call was ended, my eyes became a river. I was crying, not the kind of crying that is noisy and you gasp for air but a quiet sobbing, only the salty water comming down my eyes and some kind of pain somewhere in my chest. I couldn´t stop either. Was I crying because my dear friend was getting married? if all I had to be happy for the news, being one of the firsts to know. I was happy, I knew I truly was happy for it but I was crying and I knew those were not tears of happiness... Could it be, I asked myself that the long ago buried feelings were the ones stirring up my tears.... But after so many years I thought that was long gone and by this time I was sure I had feelings for someone else. Is that possible? to have feelings for two people at once? How could that be?

I was never able to figure out why I cried when I got the getting married news. I never figured if it was possible to have feelings for two people at once. I, however, did look into myself and found that though I would always held dear that person, the feelings I once had were no longer there, maybe the crying at that time was the last remain of them in me that had to be dispossed. There´s something that will never be dead though and that is the good memories of the phone calls letting me know that someone cared if I dissappeared, the feeling that someone missed me, even if at least a little. Though I don´t get many phone calls, just like before that first one, once in a while when I do get them -even if it´s mostly work related- I remember the words: "well, young lady, how come you didn´t come to school today?" and chuckle to myself.

*****
Just a little idea that´s been bugging me for quite some time. I´m not convinced by it, I know it´s lacking a lot but.... w/e
pd.2 this was annoying to read with so many mistakes ¬¬ that´s what I get for posting without editing at all...

Promises

I will love you more because of all the bad times that brought you to me,
for the times that have taken us to where we are now.
My eyes will hold you dearly, gleaming with love everytime I see you, even if you are finding me unpleasant.
The thought of you will apeace me
and a sight from you will refrain my fury, my words, my hands and all of me if that´s your will.

I will hunt down every witch, every monster, every nightmare of yours... I will drive away anything that wants to get near you for nothing and no one is worthy to lay hands of you, my treasure one.
I will enable your wings and blow soft breezes to help you fly high, I will even bring strong winds so that you find how strong you really are while I´m dying of concern for you because I´m dead without you.

I will love you even if I wasn´t made to love. I will cherish every one of your smiles, every breath you take and even your snide words.
Your tears will sent me in a rampage trying to find the guilty one deserving of being painfully banished. I pray that you never stop me on that.
I will love you every second of your life and beyond that for I´ve would´ve died if you hadn´t seen light.
I will love you because you are so easy to love, my precious one, and though you know that I´m not the best with words and to an extend neither with actions, I´ll be doing my best to let you know how much I need your love because you have all mine.
I´ll fail a lot and for that I cry out to heaven asking help but if I manage to keep a place in your heart I´ll be more than blessed.

I will love you, treasure, despite what you think is the worst of you. I will love you  even with what you think makes you inadecuate because to me you are a perfect miracle. I will love you until the last beat of my heart and beyond that.

Landscape

This "picture" has just been finished. My very talented mother made it from scratch. She made it using cross stitch... she´s very patient...

from the window

picture taken from my window. Thunders were heard.

A minute later of the first shot

during the same minute, the sky got this gray. The sky was crying.

The sky seemed to wanted to cry. This pictures were taken one after another, it got dark really quick but as quickly the rain passed.

A must read

Moonrise by Ruthlesse wow! this is a must read. It´s a supernatural/sci-fi story. It talks about aliens comming to earth and scientific research being mad all tinged with the human chaos that emotions bring. With two stories read by this same author in the course of a day and night, I must say, this person is talented. I hope whoever read this gives this story a try. I really liked it a lot.

Wonderland

Last night I came across this story named "Wonderland" this is the summary the author has made: Finally, he leaned in and kissed me, telling me before we moved on, "If you feel any kind of pain at all, or if my body heats up too much for you, just tell me to stop before it gets out of control. I mean it, Amber, no waiting until the last second, no matter what." After that I knew I had to read it and I did, the final line says something about "going home" I liked that, it reminded me of my friend´s story even if the story line is different but it has those fantasy elements and unexpected outcome. It feels like parts of it could be developed further but it´s short enough to keep you reading until the end but not with that effect of wanting to know it all at once. It´s a very entertaining story with its share of fantasy and sadness that portrays the life of orphans and how they met Amber, the main character. 


I wish the author would create a second part but I guess an open ending is good for I can image Amber and the other kids ended however I want them to end.


Here´s the link, I think this is a story worth reading. Wonderland by Ruthlesse

The knight that saves the princess

"La fait longtemps que tés partie dans ma mémoìre 
La princess vit en moi
Reviens, mon chevalier
Retiens, mom chevalier
....
Sortans léxtérieur, si tu veux, mon chevalier
Je t'aime, mom amour
Il ya mom utopie près de vous"


This is beautiful, I can listen to it in French, I´ve tried reading it and I know I´m not good at French but still... French... The meaning of this is kinda mushy and way too cheesy to be even translated though but I liked it, I like the context of it therefore I had to comment on it.


This quote is from a manga that I had stopped reading, it had become lots of building and no climax and then it sort of became confusing but today I was bored and read it -I also found out it´s over now. It felt rushed but the ending was cute -sort of- and the story that was told in the story was nice, it was about a knight who wanted to save and protect his princess (maybe I dreaded a bit the princes part but since the knight wasn´t your conventional knight it wasn´t that bad) but this princess was kinda bad, she caused trouble but what she wanted was to have his knight close to her even if it meant that she had to make trouble to have him close. The knight found another path, and I think that´s the main purpose of this, to find other paths, to see something else. The knight found a way to become a king and then the knight, as king was able to be with the princess. The quote above, I feel that´s what the princess says to the knight, the last line says "my paradise is with you" Ok, I must say I would hate to say things like that but I think I wouldn´t mind listening to that though I´d pretend I don´t like it (n that was TMI)

I think I´ll b drawing this during my week off

Ah, yeah the manga is Shitsurakuen and there are times in which I totally disliked it since it´s set in a school where girls are pretty much "things" and boys own them, it´s like a game -which sucks- until there´s this girl, Sora who gets to "play" the game, therefore she´s able to "own" girls which are like weapons to "use" on the game but what she wants is to set them free and ultimately set free her childhood friend -who´s the trouble-maker princess- but she had to make guys see her point of view... but that was the part that was awfully long and kind of boring but at the end there´s this guy and that´s where it became a bit confusing who tells the story of the knight and the princess and at the end, of course, Sora is the knight and the friend is the princess and of course they ended up together, they even married! married! so rushed but the quote made it worth it for me, except that they ended up drawing Sora too man-like in the end when she was not like that at the begining of the manga... Now, would I read it again? probably not all of it but the last chapter was pretty good and the manga was good to be read too.

Requests

Show me a sign to know that you exist
remind me how I am still alive
and not just surviving.

Please me with the gift of a little time from you
pour sounds into my ears
so that I peacefully rest.

Lend me your hand to know there´s someone there
see me with tender eyes
but never forget to whom you´re looking at.

Fear

-----another babbling---one more complain---- another "no need to b read"
God! what´s going on??!! One thing after another, it feels like I´m being pushed down and it never stops... when I try to get up, another weight is put over me and it´s worst. When will it end? when will I see the light?

First I got sick and no one knows what I have, then it turns out I won´t get better ´cause that´s deep inside me... ok, it´s hard and I´ve cried so much but by now I was just starting to accept it... then I got robbed, thieves got in my house, the house that´s taking me so much effort to keep! -not that I had many valuable stuff there but still, come on!! who does that?! and now, the worst of all, my most beloved person, she´s sick, doctors think it might be very bad. I just told her not to get scared because it´s not for sure, because we dont know for sure but I'm so scared by the possibility. I wonder if the Creator takes pleasure in seen us suffer like this, in seeing us scared like this... I don´t want to be disgraceful or provoke him or whatever but I can´t help it, it doesn´t seem to get better only the opposite. I want to believe everything will be ok, I want to believe with all my heart but it´s so hard. I wish there was something I could do. I feel so small when things like this happen. I feel so defenseless, so useless... I can´t live like this and I just couldn´t live without her. She´s way too important, just the possibility of losing her brings tears to my eyes. God we need you.

Double Life: Liar, liar

“where the heck have you been?” was the first thing Aaron said. Under a bed Josh thought.
“Why are you shouting? I´ve been around, just hanging…” Josh averted his eyes from his twin stare
“by yourself?” Aaron asked incredulous and Josh knew he´d been caught yet he shrugged not really knowing what to say and regretting not having thought things through. “you don´t hang out by yourself if we have a twin thing –he made quotation marks with his hands- is that we can´t stay by ourselves more than five minutes!”
Josh didn´t say a thing. “I´ve got your back, I know you´ve covered for me before but at least give me a heads up..”
“yeah, yeah..” Josh replied dismissively as they started to walk towards the dorms.
“So, where were you?” Aaron inquired. Josh didn´t answer “does certain long haired, cat-like moves kind of girl has to do something with your sudden urge to just ditch classes and ‘hang’” Aaron once again made quotation marks in the air smirking.

Josh said nothing but unconsciously shifted somehow uncomfortable. He wanted to avoid telling about Nic as she had requested but he hadn´t thought what he was going to say, Aaron knew him too much for him to just believe any excuse. Aaron laughed out loud. “I knew it” he seemed very amused. Josh felt his twin patting his back “Not even Leigh made you ditch a class and she was your girlfriend! And this girl doesn’t even mind you and you´re all over her!” Aaron laughed even more “tell me, what did you guys do? Did you kiss her or something?” Aaron wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Josh´s eyes widened a little knowing he´d be dead if that was the case but he couldn´t avoid his hand to flex, the hand that had been held by her. Why does it matter, he thought.
“nooo” Aaron shouted interpreting Josh´s silence in the wrong way “did you… nooo. Ah, man! And you said it was not like that!”
“it´s not like that, you gossiper. I haven´t said a thing!”
“well, you´re not denying anything either”
“your such a gossiper!”
“ok, tell me what did you do then? “ Aaron eyed his twin as if daring him to lie. Josh smirked confident.
“we watched a movie”
“which one?” Aaron quickly asked sensing a lie.
“Liar, liar with Jim Carrey” he thanked Nichole for the excuse, she was always so ahead of him.
“She´s got her own TV?” Aaron complained. He had believed the excuse. Josh laughed at how easy it had been while nodding.
“oh, man! I have to get my own TV too! I never get to see what I want in the common room”
“my roommate has one” Josh supplied
“wha-at?”
“yeah, he´s into sports and he never misses a game”
“we´ve got to change rooms! And you´ve got to take me to movie night with Nichole next time! I like that girl! She knows how to break the rules and apparently she never gets caught!”
“ah, so that´s it” Josh laughed quietly
“eh?” Aaron was at a loss
“you want her to teach you to break the rules so we can be expelled once again”
“hey! You´re the only one I see braking rules in here!” Aaron smirked “I only ask for a little fun”

The twins got to their separate ways once they were in front of the dorms. They had rooms in different buildings.


*****
Ok, this was a very short one but I felt it had to have its own post... it really didn´t fit with the prior one... but it couldn´t be made too long either... Hey this one of the few times that I make a double post :D

Double Life: sneaking

“when it gets dark, Natasha…”
“that´s your doctor, right?” he asked. She nodded
“She will arrive and try to make me better, while that happens you… -she sighed knowing in advance what he´d do- will either be gone or be hiding. She can´t know you´re here”
“But there are still a few hours till it gets dark. Cant she come earlier?”
“She could but this is to keep a low profile. She´d rather sneak in at night, after all the school has doctors…”
“But she can say she´s your own physician. I´ve heard they say your family gives larges contributions and that´s why teachers tell you nothing when you miss classes or don’t pay attention”

Nichole raised both eyebrows and Josh blushed realizing he what he had said. He felt that she could get angry. “I… I mean” he tried to make it better but nothing came out of his mouth.
“It´s true  -she said looking somehow amused- they give a lot of money to give me my own room and to let me skip classes but I still have to make  sure the teachers overlook that by being the one that pays more attention” She looked smug as she finished “It wouldn´t be so good to bring my own doctor every time something happens though… I bet the lovely classmates would hate me even more and they´d probably try to hurt me and we both know I wouldn´t be the one getting hurt”
“I guess… but maybe just this time… You really look sick” He was worried
“Geez, you really know how to make a girl feel pretty” she rolled her eyes attempting to lighten the mood. He shook his head. They stayed quiet for a long time while, only hearing Nic´s shallow breathing.
“if you´re really staying or will you be a nice boy and leave?”
“I´m staying” he said firmly as she fought a smile.
“ok, then I need you to go sit somewhere else. I feel I can´t stay awake anymore… If it gets dark.. well, go hide somewhere before Natasha comes in. Ah, grab some more candy bars if you want to” when she finished speaking she moved her hand away from his. He nodded, got up, took another candy bar and sat again on the desk chair.
“Can I put some music?” he asked opening the laptop on her desk
“yeah… stay there… do not…”
“Touch me, I know” he finished her sentence “good night, Nic” he said as he clicked the play button on the computer screen. She didn´t answer back and he didn´t look back at her either but during the couple of hours left untill the sunset he felt the urge to go to her side, to wake her up, to do something; she kept complaining in her sleep or maybe she was having a really bad dream. She sounded like sobbing at times. he fought the urge though and focused on the computer screen, at the videos he was watching. Once it got dark Josh turned off the computer and gave a glance to Nichole, she seemed calmer, her breathing was steadier. He wondered about the best place to hide, he thought of the closed first buy maybe Natasha was going to help Nic to get into other clothes, after all she was still wearing her uniform, then he thought about the bathroom but he remembered the first aid kit was there, it would be bad if he was found there, as he was wondering he heard the door being unlocked. His eyes were wide open but as the door was opened he threw himself on the floor and under the bed just as the sound of high heels entered the room. He was so glad that Nic´s bed was higher than regular beds.

“How is it that you want to sneak in and yet you come wearing stilettos?” he heard Nic said. She had been awake! He thought, that´s why she had stopped complaining in her sleep. He felt embarrassed now that he knew he had stopped to watch her for a moment. Heat rose to his cheeks.

“I can sneak my stilettos in but why to try to cover the sound for you? You´d have heard me anyways wouldn´t you?” the set of shoes moved to the closet and Josh was glad he didn´t hide there. “what did you get yourself in this time? Don´t tell me my nephew is no longer your driver?... ah don´t roll your eyes at me, I know what happened to your prior driver”
“Shut up and fix me” Nichole said coldly and rudder than Josh had ever heard her talk
“fine. Let´s take a look a the damage….” Fabric rustled against more fabric. Josh heard Nichole hissed and so did Natasha. After what felt a very long time, only hearing sounds of pain and smelling alcohol and other medicines Josh heard the women voice again.
“How would you get yourself shot? I thought you did stuff of getting in and out unnoticed… -Natasha groaned impatiently- talk Nichole, it might give me a better idea of why this wound is looking so bad even if it´s just a graze”
Josh winced in sympathy under the bed, he knew how ‘just a graze’ felt and it wasn´t no where near ‘just’ pain.
“I have no idea how but I´m almost sure they knew I was coming. I got in but just as I was going to get out by climbing some tree, two guys started fire I managed to jump over but one bullet hit me. I fell to the ground and they went after me with dogs. Can you imagine that?! Chased by dogs! I managed to hide, only a couple of dogs found me but only one was brave enough to attack me –hence the few scrapes you saw but poor him… you know… the others ran away so I guess they saved me I´m sure I would´ve been shot if I had been found. Of course your stupid nephew fled  and I had to spend that night out there up to Monday night when he came back….”
“Nic, you spent two days bleeding with no food or water?? On the ground??”
“and surrounded by dead animals and dead nature…”
“what?” Natasha sounded confused as was Josh.
“I fainted soon after the rush of being chased passed, it was around nine at night… it seems that fainting made my sikin to get….its ability back… when I woke up, the grass was withered and everything else too, including bugs, birds, rats and some other things that ended up dying. It was so disgusting…”
“wait. You are supposed to kill everything that comes in contact with your hands… assuming that all your skin had its ability back…this wounds can´t be infected. Did you feel anything different after getting wounded?”
“just the pain… what should I have felt?”
“I´m not sure… I think we´ll have to take you back to the house… no one will be able to take care of you here…”
Nichole was silent, she had also been pondering what had happened, it was very strange for her to be weaken like that for a scrape, even the stab had healed sooner and that was worse than this but she didn´t want to ask for Natasha´s thoughts right there, Josh had already heard much, in his case information could be deadly, he already knew too much about her.

“K, the girl has to be taken home, she´s not doing good. I have to take care of her… yeah, the sooner, the better… K, it´d be better tonight… yeah but she´s go a fever and…. –Natasha that had been discussing on the phone sighed- fine, tomorrow”

“I´m sorry Nichole but you´ll go back home until tomorrow morning… I can stay with you if you want” the woman sounded almost motherly.
“what for? There´s nothing more you can do now that you haven´t already done, is it?” Josh wondered why Nichole was so cold when talking to her doctor when the woman sounded as if she cared.
“fine, just have something to eat” the doctor said sounded as if she knew she wouldn´t win if she tried to convince Nichole. Josh stomach churned as he heard the word ‘eat’ he hadn´t eaten lunch or dinner.
“just leave it there… I´ll eat when hungry”
“you have to eat now”
“just leave it there” Nichole stressed the last word
“this is not a choice I´m giving you. I have to make sure”
There were some sounds like a zipper being opened, more smell of alcohol and a small whimper from Nichole followed by a sigh that Josh guessed had been Natasha´s. After a moment he heard the desk chair being pulled. Then the shoes, the only thing that he could see from his position, stopped moving. The woman had sat. A long time passed and then the chair was moved back to its place.
“I do think you should eat… I´ll come back for you in the morning” the woman said and unlike when she came in she silently left. Josh didn´t even heard the door. He stayed there expecting.

“you can come out now” Nic said softly after a long while. He squeezed himself out of under the bed and saw her, dusting off his clothes. She looked paler than usual. Her blue comforter was up to her shoulders but one of her hands was on top of it. She wasn´t wearing her gloves. A blanket was over where her legs were. She seemed sleepy. He blinked and opened and closed his mouth thinking what was the right thing to say.
“how are you feeling?” his voice came out too soft for his taste, her eyebrows shot up.
“floating in pain killers –she laughed humorlessly- just fine, Josh” she grinned lazily but again it was obvious it wasn´t a real sile. He looked at the nightstand, there were some food containers. His stomach twisted again, he was hungry.
“why wouldn´t you eat?” Josh asked walking to bring the desk chair.
“Not hungry…but you are. Your stomach´s been growling rather loudly. Have that” she glanced towards the food. He was glad his back was to her when she spoke. He blushed and cleared his throat to make himself distracted.
“that´s your food. I´ll have another candy bar”
“I need no food… Natasha gave me some right to my blood… I won´t be hungry or thirsty until probably tomorrow”
Josh felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, a text from his twin, he frowned.
“he  seems careless but he´s quite perceptive when it comes to you, right?” she said, her words had a strange tone as if they were being said as one single word.
“eh?”
“It´s Aaron, isn´t he? Your phone´s been vibrating for quite some time…”
“ah, yeah –his brows furrowed- he said they went to him since I wasn´t in class this afternoon. Then he said that he had to pretend he was me tonight since no one has seen me in my dorm. He´s there now”
“I told you to go but you didn´t listen” she saw him roll his eyes, that somehow amused her and a tiny smile was drawn to her face.
“it´s fine, for all they know Joshua is in his room now”
“so advantageous to have a double, ha?” her words were dragged, tired “have the food and go back before your twin gets in trouble “
Josh sighed knowing she was right. There was a slight possibility that his roommate could tell them apart though the kid seemed oblivious to anything other than sports.
“Are you sure you don´t want any ?” Josh offered the still warm food to a sleepy Nichole. She shook her head.
“Ask Aaron to come out and switch back places… don´t tell him I´m sick –Nichole asked and Josh lifted an eyebrow- tell him something else and if you can avoid telling him you were with me… better”
“why don´t you want him to to know I´ve been with you?” he shoved some chicken with vegetables to his mouth. He seemed very hungry but the food had a good taste.
“I´d be bad if people knew you missed classes for me plus what do you think they´d think of that? Not to mention you´ve been in my room the entire time somewhere you shouldn´t be at all… not that it’s not done anyways  but I don´t want to fall out of grace and lose my freedom of coming and going as I please without much to worry, you know…” she explained sounding a little more like herself
“Aaron wouldn´t tell” Josh defended his twin. She grinned a little.
“there´s always ears that hear” she said nonchalantly yet making a point “and also… I don´t want him pestering around me thinking that way he’d get to me” she wrinkled her nose as if the thought of more people in her life was bad. They stayed silent after that, it was a comfortable silence where Josh occupy himself in eating what Natasha had brought to Nichole. When he finished he put all the containers back in the lunch bag.
“feeling any better?” he inquired
“mmh” she mumbled more to let him know she was listening than to confirm that she was feeling better. She looked the same again and a couple of sweat beads had formed on her forehead.
“Do you need anything? –he hesitated- Is there anything that I can do for you?”
“you already did. Now go, you have to pay attention… -her words confused him- … and take accurate notes for me to copy when I get back”
He shook his head as he put the chair in its place. When he was leaving the room he hear her voice
“Liar, liar  with Jim Carrey” she said, he turned to see her, confused, his brows furrowed.
“what?” he asked but she seemed asleep already.
Josh texted Aaron and they met at the fountain where they had –or hadn´t- met the first day they came to Burgeoys school.

sweet sixteen! hahaha

Hey, Mira! as promised I´m congratulating you both days ok?

I wanted to do & post a pix of something we both have seen/read but sorry for not making it better but know that I´m not a computer genious -I barely manage it hahah so you´ll have to teach me ok?

I´m so glad that I met you and... I´m also glad for our 8pages long e-mails, those are really fun.

I wish you a very very happy birthday, joy, luck, succes and all that you want for today.

Virtual hugs and good vibes -again- did I tell you I like July ppl? haha I´m so glad you are one of them :)

ok, have a great year, keep being cute and sweet and nice ^^ Happy birthday Mira

Haunted Souls

Just when I think you care,

you prove me wrong by being you.

Your love meets its limit where your desires start,

they don´t even fight, desire always wins for you

of course, only your own.

Jus when I think I don´t care,

I prove myself wrong by feeling tears urging to come out.

My love died but its ghost is roamming the dark spaces of my soul

how do you kill a ghost? I guess, love is indeed eternal

of course, its nothing but a bleached version of what it was.

The chained ghost that naggs me from the inside

makes me feel compassion for it makes me remember

at some point you hid your demons so that I would think heaven was earth

but who can avoid demons? you ended up passing them on to me,

I fought some, some are living with me...

maybe we are,after all, monsters of the same kind

knowing earth is no heaven and that demons can´t be hidden for too long...

Your love ends where you desires start...

My love ends where my mind starts...

it dies... leaving ghosts....

minds filled with ghosts...

haunted souls...

*****
As I wrote this one, I was listening to this : Not Alone by Linking Park (please clic) I think it goes with the poem somehow. It makes a bit of a contrast or maybe a follow up of this...idk it justs feels right with this piece.