Fear

-----another babbling---one more complain---- another "no need to b read"
God! what´s going on??!! One thing after another, it feels like I´m being pushed down and it never stops... when I try to get up, another weight is put over me and it´s worst. When will it end? when will I see the light?

First I got sick and no one knows what I have, then it turns out I won´t get better ´cause that´s deep inside me... ok, it´s hard and I´ve cried so much but by now I was just starting to accept it... then I got robbed, thieves got in my house, the house that´s taking me so much effort to keep! -not that I had many valuable stuff there but still, come on!! who does that?! and now, the worst of all, my most beloved person, she´s sick, doctors think it might be very bad. I just told her not to get scared because it´s not for sure, because we dont know for sure but I'm so scared by the possibility. I wonder if the Creator takes pleasure in seen us suffer like this, in seeing us scared like this... I don´t want to be disgraceful or provoke him or whatever but I can´t help it, it doesn´t seem to get better only the opposite. I want to believe everything will be ok, I want to believe with all my heart but it´s so hard. I wish there was something I could do. I feel so small when things like this happen. I feel so defenseless, so useless... I can´t live like this and I just couldn´t live without her. She´s way too important, just the possibility of losing her brings tears to my eyes. God we need you.