Double life: Empty

A/N: a small one and one that didn´t suffer many changes like the others -the recent ones.

I think I should warn you that this is the beginning of the end... 

I´ve done something different with the time in which the story is narrated in this one and in the coming ones, and I guess they´ll have some kind of focus either in one or other of the characters... we´ll see how that looks hahahaha 

ah, Saku, I haven´t addressed to your question about last post´s picture... I think it was about Nichole´s mind in that whole part, that trip, not only the post but the one before that one, it´s always hard for her to share stuff but then it was like letting go -like the birds too. To me that picture represented that.

****

Nichole sighed as she idly swung in the swing. She’d been in the park where Nat and Mii were supposed to meet her for a little over half hour. She´d thought they´d be there already, it was now, close to eleven in the morning.

Ten minutes went by, she stood up and paced the playground once and went back to the red swing. Another fifteen minutes went by; she made a call and was taken aback when no one picked up. She called again, this time it went straight to voice-mail. She kicked the ground. Five minutes later she got a text.

“I’m stuck. Be patient” Nat said in the text. Nichole closed her eyes and scrubbed a hand over her face.

 She took her drawing pad out of her messenger bag, as she did so, the black notebook of Mary Ann Ibsen fell to the ground, she´d been carrying it with her since she found it, she´d always been careful of putting it on a safe compartment of her bag but she´d gotten out of Burgeoys in a hurry.

A small picture fell off the notebook. It was her, angry, Nichole shoved the picture in the journal and the journal in the bag.

An hour later, she called Natasha again, she didn´t pick up. Nichole called again but there was no answer. A while later, her phone vibrated, she hurriedly picked it up

“Where are…?” she said

“Won´t be able to make it” Nat interrupted

“But you…”

“It’s not all up to me. We´ll reschedule for later. Gotta go” the woman ended the call, the girl fell like smashing the phone against a tree or like kicking someone, instead she looked up to the sky, closed her eyes and sighed with a pained expression on her face. In the distance she heard people approaching to the park, she stood up, put her things away and climbed up a tall tree on the furthest part of the park. She was sad and angry at herself for thinking Nat would follow through her promise. She was feeling frustrated enough to make tears come out of her closed eyes.

***

“Josh, can I talk to you for a moment?” said mike when the Art Club time was over. He stayed behind. The teacher waited for all the students to clear the room to start talking.

“Do you know if Nichole is ok?” he inquired at last. Josh furrowed his eyebrows

“Our teacher told us she was sick and that´s why she hadn´t been in classes” Josh explained, he wonder how Mike didn´t know that. He was almost sure the girl wasn´t sick but he also knew that she sometimes gave that excuse and missed classes

“I know, I got told that but she´s not at the infirmary… she hasn´t come over four days and that tells me she´s not well” he said as if to himself

“She often skips Art Club time” Josh said with humor. It was impossible that the teacher hadn´t noticed that

“She skips being with the other kids, but she always comes to work on her own. I thought you knew that since you often seemed to be with her –he said, Josh blinked a couple of times, Mike chuckled- I know when someone touches my instruments” he explained

“Oh”

“Yeah, so, do you know if it´s something serious?”

“I… no, I haven’t seen her either… you know I wouldn´t be allowed in her room”

“Ah, I thought you knew something”

“Why?” he asked, wondering how he could know more than a teacher about Nichole´s whereabouts, most of the times he didn´t know where she was. Mike raised both eyebrows.

“Because you are always together, you seem… ah… close… well, let me know if you know something” the teacher finished

“You too” said Josh as he left

“Mike just asked about you. Are you ok?” read the text Nichole had just gotten. The last part had been repeated in the last couple of days. She went through all of them

Josh

Mon. 9:00 am

Can´t believe you skipped the math quiz! Lunch?

Mon. 1:30 pm

Homeroom T asked about you. Still with Mii?

Tue. 3:30 pm

Back at Burgeoys? T said you´re sick. U ok?

Wed. 5:15 pm

R u really sick? R u ok?

Nichole stared at the texts wondering when he´d get tired of sending texts without getting a reply. He´d called on Wednesday, she´d let it go to voice-mail.

“I’m worried about you. R u ok?” Josh hit the sent button of his phone at around ten thirty of a Friday night. He waited ten minutes but as he suspected this one was not going to be replied either. He sighed “I guess I am too annoying” he said to himself as he pushed the emergency door exit of the girl´s dorm building. Quietly he went up the stairs and waited, listening behind the door. Nichole´s room was at the end of the hallway, the furthest from that one, he would be in serious trouble if someone found him there or “if she doesn´t open her door” he murmured to himself as he pushed the door and walked swiftly to the end of the hall. The tried the door handle, it was open. “she heard” he thought, he got in, the lights were on, the window close, it was too silent, no one was on the bed or desk

“Nic?” he quietly called and went to the bathroom door. The faucet was opened, he heard water running.

“Nic?” he knocked on the door but waited, ten minutes later he knocked on the door again

“Nic? Nichole are you ok?” he knocked earnestly “Nic, open up” there was no answer, he was worried, she wouldn´t leave her front door open “I’m going to come in” he tried the door, it opened, the shower curtain covered the tub. He hesitated and called her name once more, he quickly removed the curtain when there was no answer, to his surprise, nobody was there. He was somewhat relieved after, he´d imagined the worse, he´d remembered that time when she´d passed out as she ran on the top of the wall. He turned off the faucet and went out the bathroom.

He looked around; she wasn’t there like the dorm supervisor had reported. He sat on her bed and before every time he´d come there was a drawing for a little girl ballerina and of a long haired boy with his hand extended. The past Saturday he´d found out it was Ashley. The drawings of Camille and Ashley were missing. He opened the drawers of the desk, her drawing pad and pencils were gone but that, he said to himself, is to be expected, she always seemed to carry those.

 “I’m sorry, Nic, but you don´t reply and no one knows where you are” he mumbled and opened one of her drawers, he half-expected to find it empty but no, it was full of clothes, he quickly closed it as she also closed his eyes and stood straight. “My underwear´s on the second drawer” he remembered she´d said one to tease him. it was not in that but in the first one.

“Sorry” he muttered and opened his eyes, his reflection on her mirror stared back at him. He´d spent some time in that room and though he didn´t really had have time to pay close attention he found hat then he could recognize things were missing, one thing actually, a little wooden chest. He´d seen it at his home when she spent with them, he´d seen its contents there too.

“My treasure chest” she´d said. It had his guitar pick, Ashley´s cat pendant, a ring too big to be hers; a pair of earrings she´d said had been her mom´s and the hairpins he´d given her. He´d seen her pack it the morning when they were leaving for holidays the year before, she´d taken it with her then

“You’re gone” he whispered as a frown set on his face. Once he realized this, he wanted confirmation. He went to her closet, all her uniforms and fancy dresses and shoes were there, all of her clothes were there.

“You travel light” he said remembering how small her bag had been when they had left last year. Ashley´s old jacket was missing, as well as the scarf he´d given her and her boots but he didn´t see those things in a closet he´d barely seen open.

“You´re really gone” he whispered again, the whistling of the wind made him realize he it had started to rain. He was forced to spend the night in her empty room. 

Double Life: Uphill

A/N: The tittle could´ve been "let go" or "letting go" -last night in my sleepless night I saw both of the main character´s thoughts in this one! wow! a lot was going on!! and this is nothing but a glimpse of the depth of it. I didn´t even know of it until this morning! I think I´ll write that for the future -I think it helps  that in my mind, it´s years after DL, from 3 to 8 years after it, so both the characters are grown up... gotta go lol

****

“Do you mind walking back up?” she said as they went again through the outskirts of Woodhills. He looked up across the road to the woods and up the hill they were about to walk through

“Let´s do it” he said, she smiled

“It´s won´t be bad” she took his hand and led him across the road and up the hill through the woods. The birds kept chirping as they went up.

“Where do you want to let these go?” he lifted the cage he carried

“You choose” she smiled with the side of her face.

“How about here?” he said stopping next to a huge tree with mossy trunk and branches that went in all directions, some very close to the ground. She nodded with a smile. She sat and so did he. Each of then took a bird, he took the green one between his hands as she had asked and she took the yellow one, very carefully of not letting it go but of not hurting it. She looked at it with tender eyes.

“You give the best presents” she said softly, he blinked a couple of times “ready?” she said before he could say anything, he nodded, she lifted her arms a little and so did he, then she turned to look at him and smiled, he nodded again and they both let the birds go. She had a bright smile on her face, so similar to the one he´d seen before except it was different because this one made her chocolate eyes look bright, it was a real happy smile.

“What will we do with the cage?” he asked after a moment in silence, she pondered for a moment

“We´ll hang it on this tree” she pointed to the mossy tree “like a birdhouse”

“It won’t make such a good birdhouse, it´s not…” he started and she chuckled

“I´ve seen birds make nests in the roofs in Burgeoys where they´re barely covered and also in the oddest places there, I think as long as they feel the place is safe from other animals they take it…” she explained, he stared at her unconvinced

“I guess we could try…”

“We´re certainly not taking a bird cage with us back to Burgeoys” she raised an eyebrow

“So you’re only getting rid of this?”

“No, just giving you another reason to hung it up there” she pointed her finger up, he said nothing “we could come back and make it a proper birdhouse?” she offered, he chuckled

“Alright” he agreed. They took off the little door of it and she climbed the tree despite his reluctance to it, she went to the higher and farthest branches from the trunk. “Be careful” he told her and she smiled down to him, secured the bird cage and started to descend, jumping off the tree a few feet from the ground.

“I hope they like it” she said. A few minutes later some birds came, the cage still had the little food and water container filled. He sat and closed his eyes.

There was still some sun out, so they rested for a while, she took out her drawing pad and sketched the bird on Ashley´s grave, after that she sketched Josh against the tree, he felt her eyes on him and when he saw her drawing he leaned to see what she was doing

“Every time I see you drawing, I get amazed at how good you are at this” he complimented her

“Do you like you?” she raised an eyebrow

“Yeah, I look good”

“So much ego… but I’m just doing you the favor” she poke her tongue

“Ah, yeah? Well, then let me, I´ll draw you now” he reached for her drawing pad and pencil

“Do you draw?”

“Of course I do. I’m a man of many talents but you have to stay very still so that it can be accurate” he grinned, she rolled her eyes

“You better not waste my paper” she said and stayed still

“I am a good artist, this will be better than most of yours. I´ll even include myself in it”

“Didn´t you say it was going to be an accurate portrait?”

“It´ll be” he laughed

“Stop wasting my paper, let me see that” she scooted closer to him, he burst in laughter

“You better stick to music, Josh –she laughed quietly- because mii can draw better stick figures than you”

“Aw, no, they´re not that bad”

“They suck, Josh –she laughed some more- I can´t even figure out who´s who”

“This is you, on top of the wall, look, these are your gloves” he pointed to the hands of a stick figure

“Oh, that´s Burgeoys´wall… you made it of bricks instead of stones”

“Minor details…”

“Why are your hands tiny circles?” she tilted her head

“Because I suck at it” he made her laugh

“You do –she took his hand and shook it- but… it was funny. I´ll ask mike to hang this one in the library, next to mine”

“It´ll look great there” he also shook her hand

“Mh” with her free hand she turned the page and lazily started to sketch the same image he´d doodled. He started to hum a song as he watched her draw

“I´d like to make myself believe that the planet Earth turns slowly it´s hard to say I rather …” she mumbled the song he was humming  

“You didn´t draw my hair in yours” she interrupted the song as she turned the page back

“You had your hair braided” he continued humming as she mumbled the lyrics

“You sing” she prompted, he did so, singing softly many songs until her drawing as done, until the sunset

“We should go, I’m hungry” she squeezed his hand twice, he´d been playing with it

“So, I get this one –he pointed to her drawing- in exchange of mine, right?” his phone rang before she could answer “that was supposed to be at nine” he said to the phone, it was followed by a series of “yeah” and “no” finished by an “I´ll meet you there” and one “I´ll call grandpa, obviously” while Josh spoke she had packed her things, once he finished she started to walk towards the school.

“You´re having dinner with me, right?” he followed a couple of steps behind

“They´re waiting for you”

“No, they´re not”

“Yes, that´s why they´re calling you”

“That´s at nine”

“They´re calling you”

“We´d agreed to go at nine and that´s what I’m doing”

“I heard… sounds like it´s more convenient for you to go now that later” she spoke in her usual detached manner, he snorted

“That doesn´t matter, it´s going out not an appointment” he said, she glanced his way for a moment and kept walking

“So, dinner?” he said once they were close to the stone wall

“Go –she climbed the wall next to the old gates- Josh, you´ve been with me the whole day, go have fun” she said from the top and then jumped to the other side

“Don´t want you to be alone during dinner” he said once he was on the other side of the wall, next to her, she chuckled

“I only eat in the cafeteria when I’m with you, most of the times not even then…”

“You also do it when it´s almost empty”

“Yeah”

“You´ll eat in your room?”

“Yeah”

“why don’t you come with us?” he offered, she stared at him “it´ll be Aaron, Brighton, Lex, my roommate and a few other guys and girls, we´re having dinner first and then the girls wanted to go dancing”

“I don’t dance”

“You don’t have to”

“I know”

“Then come with us, with me”

“Nope”

“It has to be better than dinner alone”

“Nope”

“Nic”

“Josh”

“Please”

“That good do I look eating that you want to see me at it?” she teased, he stared

“Don’t want me to be with you anymore?” his voice had dropped, she stopped walking to face him

“It is not that” she locked gazes with him who gave her a questioning look “don’t want to keep you from going to your gathering… it seems –she started slowly- that … it is perceived sometimes that I… keep you from doing stuff with people”

“That´s not true”

“it´s what´s happening now” she said starting to walk, he fell a couple of steps behind

“Then by saying no, you´re keeping me longer” he said and she stopped but then continued

“I can always leave you” she said once he caught up to her

“Slave for the whole eternity, remember?” he teased reminding her of the first time she´d saved his life, she sighed and he chuckled

“You´ll get me extra fries” her eyes were slightly narrowed. She´d been walking already on her way to the cafeteria

“And apple pie” he smiled and she fought a smile of her own

Josh wanted to walk her to her dorm after they had dinner, she gave him a look of “you´re crazy” but this time she didn´t argue and let him do as he wished, he´d been detained long enough.

“I think you´d have fun if you go with us” Josh said once they were close to her dorm

“I told you I’m visiting mii tomorrow; I’m leaving early in the morning”

“If you were not to visit her, you´d go with us?” he said, she chuckled

“It´s unlikely”

“Then that is a bad excuse” he narrowed his eyes

“It´s better than I don’t want to” she said with a smile which prevented him from getting hurt

“It´d be fun”

“Go have fun, Josh” she shook his hand quick, as she let go he kept hold of it, she raised an eyebrow looking at their hands

“Just come for a little while” he asked, she stared at him for a moment

“Why are you so reluctant to go? Why are you so set in making me go?” she narrowed her eyes, he said nothing but his eyes quickly looked to a side and back to her “Oh –she mouthed- it´s because of Ashley?” she inquired, he opened his mouth to talk but he didn´t say anything, he took a deep breath

“I feel like I can´t leave you alone” he said in a pensive manner as if he realized it as he said it, she closed her eyes and smiled

“You don´t have to worry about me. I don´t feel sad. I’m ok. I think I wanted you to know Ash –she furrowed her eyebrows for a second- I think that if he was around you´d like each other…”

“I don´t think he´d like me” Josh chuckled

“Why?” she inquired with curiosity

“I´ll tell you if you come” he smiled, she shook her head

“Go, now. I can hear your phone vibrating like crazy in your pocket; your leg must be fried by now with the many calls you´ve gotten just in the last few minutes!”

“Ok” he sighed

“I’m fine. Have fun” she let go of his hand. He hugged her taking her by surprise “oh”

“Good night, Nichole”

“Later Josh” he heard in his ear. Each turned to leave.

Double Life: meet him, meet me

A/N: at the end

***

“Nini!” the woman at the counter of the bakery where Nichole took Josh greeted the girl

“Hi, Annie” the girl smiled back

“I hadn´t seen you in a while. How was vacation?”

“It was ok, how´ve you been?”

“The kids, the kids, Nini” she rolled her eyes “they should be like you, but you know they´ve missed their aunt Nini” the woman winked

“I´ve missed them too” she took an envelope out of her backpack and handed it to Annie, the woman saw its contents

“Nini, I can´t take this”

“Yes, you can and you will. Ash always talked of taking them there” she smiled, that seemed to change the woman´s mind, her gaze was tender

“Aww thank you. Did you come to visit him?”

“I think I will, yeah…”

“You know you don´t have to…” there was sadness in her voice

“I like keeping his memory” the girl had a soft smile

“So, you’re taking the usual?”

“I want one more this time and cookies. Do you want anything else from here?” she asked Josh who was looking around. Annie noticed him

“Oh, I’m sorry –she said- I didn´t know you were with Nichole. I am Annie Cooper” she shook his hand

“Joshua Arlington” he smiled “it´s nice to meet you”

“School friend?” Annie asked Nichole

“Yes, we hiked from there today”

“Oh… so you’re corrupting him?”

“Annie, you offend me! –Nichole touched her heart- but… very much so” she smirked, Annie laughed

“When I came to leave these guys –Josh lifted the birds’ cage that they had just picked up- I saw a park, we could free them there or in the woods if you like”

“Let´s go to the park” she said at once

“You´ve spent quite a while in here” Josh commented as she led him between a couple of trees to a partially hidden set of swings

“Mhhh…These swings stopped being used when a thunder struck those trees during a rainy night, well, two rainy nights, since it happened twice. People got superstitious and these are always empty” she explained as she sat on one

“Not always empty, Nini, you´re stealing our hangout place”

“Aren´t you supposed to be at college, Iz?” she rolled her eyes

 “You´re totally bringing the rich kids to our place, Nini” the tall young man walking towards them spoke, completely ignoring Nichole´s first comment

“This is a public place, Iz” Nichole raised her eyebrow

“This is our hang out place, Nini, he´s not approved”

“I am totally bored by now, Iz, so I’m not even going to answer that. I´ll pretend I didn´t even listen”

“Oooooh” the other boys with him hollered, Josh lips twitched up a fraction

“So you gonna ignore me, Nini?”

“Pete, what are you guys doing here?” she turned her attention to a smiling brunette

“We´re visiting, we went by Annie´s she told us you were around, we thought you came to see him”

 “I think I will”

“To say goodbye?” Iz glanced at Josh. Nichole laughed as she rolled her eyes

“Iz, Pete, Charlie, this is my friend Joshua Arlington. Josh, these are friends of a friend…” she motioned to the boys

“Ouch! That hurt, Nini” Charlie spoke

“My friends would not Judge my other friends based on the money their parents make” she raised an eyebrow, the three boys seemed taken aback

“Sorry, man” Pete shook Josh´s hand followed by the other two

“Yeah, sorry, Just getting a little over protective of Nini” Iz offered

“It´s fine, Josh said. Nichole snorted

“Funny, Iz, you´re well aware I can defend myself”

“Nini, you´re like our little sister…” Charlie intervened before Iz could talk.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever…” she rolled her eyes but there was a smile tugging at her lips before silence settled in

“We´ll go now but say hello for us” Pete dug in his pocket and gave her something and so did the rest

“I will” she took it

“Nice to meet you Joshua” they nodded and started to walk away

“Don´t get lost, Nini” Iz turned and walked backwards as he spoke

“Nini” Josh started once they were gone

“Yup”

“You have lots of friends in here” he commented without looking at her.

“You could say that…”

“They seem to know you”

“Don´t like that you´re not my only friend?” she raised both eyebrows, he stared blankly at her “wow, mad you is coming out”

“Nic…”

“They´ve known me, sort of, for a while… I used to come a lot here”

“Why did you stop? You know, having friends here and all?” he asked already guessing it had to do with the friend she´d been talking about and that person everybody asked her if she was visiting.

She reached for the bag Annie had given her when they left the bakery and took out an envelope, opened it, sorted the contents and passed him a picture, in it, a younger Nichole with the 3 guys and another one in soccer uniforms were smiling. She gave him another of the unknown guy and for some reason it seemed familiar.

“I have the weird feeling that I´ve seen this picture before” Josh furrowed his eyebrows

“That´s probably because you have” she said and he looked at her with questioning eyes “right where I met your twin, in that library hallway there´s a picture, a version of this one” she pointed to the picture of the unknown boy alone

“You made it, it´s the same person” he said to himself

“Yeah, I made it and Mike made sure to put it in the library, your picture is there this year too”

“Really?” he widened his eyes

“Yeah, I can see you don´t go to the library much” she chuckled “you should go see it”

“I will! –he smiled happily- mmmm so…” he lifted the picture a little

“Annie Cooper was his aunt –she started softly frowning a little for a second- Pete, Iz and Charlie were his friends since they were kids, they were in the school soccer team, in that picture I had gone to cheer, sort of, on them for the final game of the season or something I wasn´t at all interested in –she laughed quietly-. He had befriended me somehow, I guess it was his ability to know when to talk and when to stay quiet, -she smiled and seemed almost happy to be talking of this person- like me, he loved the woods, he showed me this place and told me the legends... He borrowed me his friends and family –her voice broke a little-. The guys gave me this –she showed him three shiny pennies- because I Just quoted his words to Iz about the not being friends with him over discriminating based on money… they had this story about a penny that reminded them of it, I don´t know, I think a couple of girls from Burgeoys had thrown them a penny as a way to look down on them so… I don´t know he was a little crazy sometimes”

“So…he… Iz got jealous on behalf of…”

“Yeah” she shook her head. She showed him another picture. He was sure he´d seen that one. It was the boy sitting in the middle of a road, raised eyebrow, a tiny smile

“This picture is in Mike´s office” he said pondering

“There are some more in the drawers –she said- Mike had me doing human figure a lot back then, he was always glad to help”

“He sounds like a nice guy”

“He was, he was amazing, Ashley would´ve been a great man –she closed her eyes as if in pain- and… I think I want to ask you a favor for him”

“Ashley?” Josh eyes were a little wide. Nichole laughed

“The doctors told his mom she was having a girl and when she died of childbirth his grandma named him that anyway… Though, he never let anyone call him anything but Ash”

“Oh… a favor you said?”

“Yeah… I want to give him one of your birds because they are special to me and I want to let it free where he is now”

“They are your birds; you can do what you want….”

“Would it be weird for you to go to the graveyard…?” it was very strange to see her unsure like that

“I´d like to meet your… friend” Josh smiled

“Thank you, Josh” she reached for his hand

**

They entered in a graveyard that looked more like a garden with flowers and trees everywhere, it was all very green.

“Should we have brought flowers?” he asked

“That´s what the cupcakes are for” they walked silently until Nichole stopped. She reached into the box of cupcakes and put it on the stone that said

“Ashley Cooper.

He was loved,

He was happy,

He is within our hearts”

“Goodbye, Mr. Cooper” Nichole said and kept walking further into the graveyard where more trees were. She stopped in front of an old stone

“Benjamin and Lola Cooper.

Beloved parents and grandparents”

“Hey Ash” Nichole whispered and sat Indian style in front of the stone “Ash, this is my friend Joshua. Josh –she looked up to him- Ashley is in here…”

“But…?” Josh looked back at the tomb with Ashley’s name

“Ah, yeah… that´s actually his grandpa´s name –she pointed to the stone in front of her- he always said that when he died he wanted to be close to Ben and Lola, his grandparents, so when it happened… I made sure he got his wish even though… there´s not supposed to be one more person in this one”

“Oh… how…?”

“You´d be surprised at what people do for large amounts of money”

“Ah”

“Yeah… no one else knows though… so….”

“My mouth´s closed”

“I thought so” she smiled

“Ashley´s epitaph is nice” he sat next to Nichole

“Ash –she winked- Annie asked me to write it”

“It´s beautiful”

“I didn´t deserve it” she said after a moment in silence

“I’m sure you did. You did a good job”

“He would´ve liked you” she chuckled

“It’s good to know. I can see he´s really important”

“He is” she leaned forward slightly

“Were you and him…?”  He´d been watching her face attentively

“I… -she smiled a little- yeah” she breathed out and he stared, she laughed “You´re thinking of the rumors, right?”

“A well-kept secret” he said shaking his head

“Hardly anybody knows me but they kinda knew him, I don´t know where do the rumors come from …maybe it just has to do with him not belonging to Burgeoys”

“They knew him at school?”

“Yeah… well, not in the beginning, you see… I took him to Burgeoys, he went to one of the parent´s weekends. Most pictures he´d helped me with were presented then. Your good friend, Michelle was a jerk as usual on how he didn´t belong but he was above that and in turn he took me to one of his school dances so he made me wear a dress more or less willingly …”

“He was something then… I thought you didn´t like those things” his eyebrows furrowed upwards

“I don´t but I had fun… first and only time I had fun at a party”

“I’m glad about your good times and I’m sorry that he´s gone… I can only imagine how much you must miss him” his head was slightly tilted to a side as he spoke

“Yeah… I miss him a lot” she sighed

“What… happened to him?” he asked softly

“I happened to him” she said in a small broken voice, lips upturned. It felt like a blow for the boy, she´d been giving him so much information at once and now it was all over again like the time when she made the big old tree die just by touching it…

“Ah, Nichole…” he tried to hug her but she put her hand on his chest

“He cared for me and I killed him… nothing good comes from being close to me” her voice had taken somewhat a different disposition, clinical, as if it was part of a speech. He wondered if she pushing him away showing him where he could end. He stared at her cold eyes; she was a totally different person, she was the girl that told him not to follow her on the stone wall.

“My … life has been saved twice by being close to you” he broke the silence between them

“That´s arguable… that could´ve been avoided if you hadn´t been close”

“I’m not going anywhere”

“You´re stupid as well” her eyes pierced into his, he sighed.

“I’m sure he was happy to be with you –he tried another approach- and I’m sure he´d do it again even if he knew he´d end there” he said, she snorted

“If I had known or had been smarter I would´ve run from him and the pain of losing him” Nichole´s voice was barely audible

“The spent time was worth it and all you´ve told me tells me it´s true”

“I´d still trade it for his life” she said and stared at Ashley´s grave. Josh looked at her

“It´d be his choice too…” he said softly, she didn’t reply

“Do you want me to give you a moment alone?” he asked after a while of silence

“No, I brought you here to meet him and to let the birds free, here if you don´t mind” she showed him a smile, one that didn´t reach her eyes

“I told you I don´t mind. Which one do you want to let go first?”

“I want you to free the green one –she smiled with the side of her mouth, he smiled back- I´ll let go the yellow one, so the first will be the blue one”

Josh opened the cage; carefully, she took the blue bird and put it on the stone that marked Ashley´s resting place, on the other side of where the cupcake was. Instead of flying away, the bird hopped towards the bread and pecked it. She started to laugh; Josh smiled at the sight of her. She took out her cellphone to take a picture but as she was about to do it, the bird flied away, she slumped her shoulders

“They can be tracked… -Josh informed her- so you can always know where they are” she looked at him

“Really?”

“Yeah” he replied to a smiling Nichole

“I like that… Let´s free the others somewhere else” she decided suddenly when he was about to open the cage again.

****

A/N

agh! I had two images for this one! and a lot of tittles "friends and family", "memories", "visit" and even "Ashley"  I´lll put the other image here. 

It was a trip to post this one... a lot of change and many bits about Ash didn´t make it, which was kinda sad but it didn´t fit....

well, I hope it was good... I think I feel kinda bad about Josh... she can be too much, even for me I guess lol

the other pix -which is better?

Double Life: Over Your Steps

A/N: I don´t feel like I have that many things to say in this one... except that I have been worried about this part for quite a while... well, this part and the whole coming part because I was thinking that maybe Nic was talking too much and not being who she normally is but last night I felt like she´s been talking more and more and after the days at the Arlingtons it seems like something changed and also going back to prior posts, it seems a certain guy makes her talk hahaha 

*

During the first week of school, on Wednesday afternoon Nichole´s phone vibrated. She was laying down by the stone wall, sketching birds and cats and a face that she hadn´t drawn in a while.

“Hello! How´s your first week of classes going?” Natasha had her motherly voice, one that Nichole dreaded

“What do you want?”

“Whoa! What´s with that mood, I´m just checking on you”

“You never check on me”

“This time you’re right… I still owe you your birthday gift and I am calling to confirm. Sunday´s doable… your father´s out of town and mrs. Duchenne´s going for a spa day and your step-sisters won´t mind if Camille is not there but out with me, meaning you”

“Oh” the girl said. Nat chuckled on the other side of the line

“Yeah, I thought you´d like that”

“Mh”

“Why don´t you sound excited, baby?”

“I’m not your baby. Where?”

“You´ll have to help me on that one… -there´s the ´but´part Nichole thought- if I ask permission for home leave for you it´ll be registered, the same if you go out on your own and I can´t have that, specially since you saw Camille the day before school started… I need you to go to the park that is close to the hotel where you spent your vacation, can you do that?”

“It´ll take a lot if I take a cab, can you bring her closer?”

“No, baby… if I take her closer to Burgeoys, it´ll be suspicious…”

“How about Crystals house?”

“Your sisters will be there… but we can postpone it or cancel”

“I´ll be there”

“Great! I won´t tell Camille until you´re there, is that ok?”

“Yeah”

“Ok, have a nice day!” Nat said chirpily, the girl ended the call.

Nichole stayed there, where she was until the sun set and even a little after.

**

“Are my birds around?” Nichole asked with a soft s mile as she and Josh got closer to her dorm

“Sort of” Josh returned the s mile. She raised her eyebrows to enquire “I have them at the vet´s in the closest town to school”

“Woodhills?” she sounded surprised. That had been Ash´s town; his aunt and cousins still lived there. 

She and Josh had never visited there, she was almost sure the boy hadn´t gone either, there weren´t that many places there to interest Josh or so she´d thought.

“Yeah. Ever gone there? It seems like you´d like it  better than Greenvalley”

“Mhh” she did like it better than the town in which she and Josh had gone together. Ash´s town was a bit more rural but nicer and closer, greener.

“We could go this Saturday since it´s the first one out we have” he offered

“What about Kate?”

“She said her family´s taking her to her aunt´s wedding”

“Saturday, then” she said glancing back to him before getting in the glass doors of her dorm.

 “What time´s good for you tomorrow?” Nichole read the text. It was already Friday night. She had erased the caller id but she knew the number.

“Early” she texted back

“I´ll ask the car to come by eight. Breakfast there?”

“I kinda wanted to show you the way from school… sort of a long walk though so it´s up to you” she texted back, he smiled when he saw it

“Jumping the wall? You like being a rebel, huh?” he texted and she laughed

“What´s life without breaking a few rules?” she teased and he laughed. Another text came after that one “go to sleep. I´ll wake you up before the sunrise :p”

He´d thought she´d been joking but at five o´clock she was calling him

“Wake up sunshine! –She chuckled- you better get ready. Be there in fifteen”

“What time is it?” he squinted his eyes to look at his clock

“See you in fifteen” she chuckled and hung up

“Why do you get up so early?” he grumbled once he met her outside his dorm building

“You´re grumpy in the morning” Nichole gave him a one-arm hug “hiking´s better in the morning and sneaking out is better in the dark” she winked as they started to walk towards the orchard and then to the stone wall. This time she led them to the old iron locked door. As an agile cat she climbed it in two strides and from the top she jumped landing on her feet.

“Show off” he said from the other side, she grinned turned his way and winked “hurry” she said and he climbed as well, not as gracefully as her but pretty easily. They walked along the stone wall, she had detoured from the usual way she took when she went down there but if she hadn´t done it, they would´ve had to climb in the exact same place where she saved his life the afternoon she considered was the one he´d become her friend. This time she hadn´t wanted to risk something like that happening again, she avoided the river but she got closer, only enough for it to be seen, not enough for him to fall or slip in it.

“Do you mind?” she asked nonchalantly but there was nothing nonchalant about it since she was actually worried about it

“Ah, no, I’m fine” he said smiling at her concern though it always made him feel bad that she knew he was scared and though she didn´t made him uncomfortable about it, he still felt that way.

The morning was cold and quiet. The sounds of their when they stepped on the moist ground melted with the sounds of the river and the birds that at times sung louder, but even this felt quiet.

They seemed to be walking towards the sun, the soft sun beans peered between the trees, it made Nichole remember the last time she had walked that path with someone, back then she´d been walking very close to the boy. He´d been wearing a denim jacket with his loose untied hair, he was humming a song, he was always humming a song, they were quiet besides that, they were only walking next to the other, they didn´t need to talk only to walk, similar to what she and Josh were doing but so different. Ashley and Joshua were nothing alike yet in a way so similar, Nichole thought.

There was no time to think about Ash, Nichole didn´t want to think about Ash right now, she knew she´d be thinking a lot about him though, not only because of the path she was following but because she was following it with someone else, a new friend, it felt to her like she was walking over her steps and Joshua´s steps were now on top of Ashley´s, maybe erasing them, maybe just being there, new steps, that would be lost but never forgotten.

Nichole sighed and Josh glanced her way a little worry in his eyes, she´d sounded sad. He wanted to ask if she was ok but somehow it felt like she didn´t want to be asked that. It seemed like she was walking in a different time but she was here so he stayed quiet wondering what he should do.

At some point she stopped and sat, she looked up at him with a very tiny smile; from her bag she produced a thermo

“Do you want some cocoa? Or would you prefer tea?”

“Oh –he said shifting on his feet- what do you want?” he said, she looked at him as if saying “if I asked you I wanted an answer” so he ended up replying “cocoa´s fine”, he gave hi m the thermo and then she gave him a box with a cupcake

“Where do you get these?” he asked, they were not the kind they made at Burgeoy´s cafeteria.

“I feel that is a must to have a cupcake whenever I walk this path” she explained with a little melancholic smile he furrowed his eyebrows a little

“And why is that? Or is it a secret?”

She inhaled deeply and stared in the river direction, she pulled a necklace where she had his guitar pick, there was the cat he´d seen before, she caressed the pendant between her index and thumb.

“I had a friend…who… gave me cupcakes whenever we walked this path” she said

“Oh” Josh exclaimed not knowing what to say

“Yeah… we had a little joke. He had wanted me to meet his grandma and the day he asked me to go –she said with a little smile on her face- he brought me cupcakes and somehow I ended up saying that if I found a cupcake line I might follow it –she said with humor- after that every time we met he always had a cupcake for me and I don’t know every time I come here I just have to have one… it´s silly, I know” she smiled.

Josh stared at her for a moment, almost never she showed that side of her, she was always so private, so secretive and now, almost as if it was from nowhere, she was, she was talking about someone she´d been flirting with, a friend like she kept calling him. Something told him this was the same friend that she said she´d visited a while ago. He pretty much had to keep biting his tongue to be patient and wait for what she wanted to share. He felt a little scared, on how to go about things, he´d been thinking a lot about her after the last time they were together back in the woods when they were camping.

“Well… -he ended up saying- it sounds like a good tradition”

“Yeah, it´s silly –she said again- but yeah…it´s nice… I think”

“Sounds like you were very close”

“Yeah, we were” she replied and closed her eyes leaning back until her back touched the ground. Silence stretched between them.

“Im going to drink some water” she announced lightly pointing to the river. They had been walking for a while calmly in silence next to the other.

“I brought water” Josh was about to open his backpack

“I did too. I just want to take a sip of that water” again, she motioned towards the river

“Is that water even good to drink?” there was some concern in the boy´s voice. She laughed quietly

“I won´t die if I drink it”

“But…” he started and she held up her hand to stop him

“Whenever I go through this spot I take a sip of water here” she explained, she knew he wouldn´t let it go other wise

“Why?”

“In memory of my friend. The first time we met, he was drinking water there” a small smile graced the girl´s lips

“He wasn´t from Burgeoys” Josh stated making her laugh

“No, Josh, he wasn´t” she said as if the idea of it could be impossible, then, with a tiny smile still on her lips she walked towards the river.

“Hello, Kitten” she murmured crossing the river using the rocks in it that made some kind of bridge. Once she got to the other side, she knelt down one knee on the ground and then she looked down and with one hand she reached and drank twice.

“When did you start liking this place, the forest?” Josh asked, they had started to walk down again

“I think we´ve talked of this before, have you forgotten?” she was serious, his eyes widened

“I…” he started but stopped when he noticed the soft gaze in her chocolate eyes

“I started to like it this one time that I ran away from Natasha… They couldn´t find me for a while… whenever I wanted to be at peace I went there, it was nice to have the illusion that I could scape”

“What were you escaping of?”

“Training”

“Like the one you left on vacation?”

“Oh… well… kinda”

“That´s child abuse” he said serious, she pursed her lips

“It´s over… I can do pretty cool stuff because of it…”

“Are you justifying it?”

“No, Josh but there is no need to wallow in misery… no once can touch me now, I’m safe here, now”

“I think you should go to the authorities… don´t let them harm you anymore”

“Oh, don´t worry, that won´t happen again. Now, tell me, do you mind the long walk?” she bumped her shoulder with his, he stared at her for a second and decided to follow her lead in changing the subject

“No, not really but I’m thinking on the way up”

“We can take a cab up to Burgeoys” she offered, he nodded.

“Where´s that vet´s shop?” Nichole asked once they reached the street that cut the woods. He looked around

“From this road we have to go left on it until we find the town”

“Is the one across the flag square?”

“Yeah”

“Ok, let´s take a short cut” she took him though empty stone-made streets, all surrounded by many wooden house with big gardens and backyards that made it seem like the woods kept going

“Do you know it here?”

“I do. Would you mind if we go somewhere first?” Nichole asked, he smiled

Double Life: Blur

A/N: Im not sure about this one... I guess it´s why it hasn´t been posted in a while but then it feels like a crime that DL hasn´t been updated since so long ago!! I am not completely satisfied with these parts, perhaps because they were writen in a time where everything was a blur for me... so I guess the tittle of this one´s a lot of things, not only for the post but for what it was to write it and to be a writer at that time, in the midst of one of the worst writer´s block that I´ve ever had. No inspiration is quite scary hahaha The A/N seems like it´s going to b longer than the post itself lol so I´ll stop this now.

****

apparently by julie-hamilton

“Are you sure it´s alright for you to stay here? I don´t have a problem in taking you to the place you need to go” Josh said as he parked in the park where he´d picked her. They had gone by the boy´s house to get the rest of Nichole luggage. It had taken a little for Maggie to let her go specially since their trip wasn´t over. She apologized and said she had to go back, to her family Maggie thought but she and Josh knew better. “I can take you, it´s not a problem” he repeated emphatically

“Yeah, here’s fine”

“There´s no pro…”

“I know you´ve got no problem with that but I don´t want Nat to know where I have been”

“Will she get mad or something?” he raised an eyebrow, she laughed

“I couldn´t care less about her getting mad but –she sighed- if she thinks you´re distracting me…I don´t know what she could do”

“It can´t be that bad”

“Trust me in this one, please. I´ll be fine here” she got off the car. He helped her with her suit case

“See you at school” he smiled

“Later boy”

**

“Today´s your last day” Nat said with clipped words in Nic´s hotel room

“Tell me something I don´t know” Nichole rolled her eyes

“You have no idea how stressful it´s been to lie to your father, he´s been mad at me for not finding your targets” the woman related, Nichole shrugged uninterested

“We´re leaving now. You´re doing both these people tonight” Nat informed.

The kill was fast, unceremoniously; Nichole was glad she hadn´t had to dress up or find anything, she only got in a house, touched the sleeping woman and left, after that she was taken to a bar, she only had to wait for the man to go to her, he´d gone to her and grabbed her hand as he left the place. The next two weeks were spent in training. Rox had become better and Vincent seemed to make friends with his fists since he seemed drawn to Nichole after their little fight.

“Strasberg!” Vincent called up to her as she was coming out of the shooting ring, she looked towards the voice.

 “Where did you escaped to?”

“It´s none of your business” she kept walking

“I am your superior, it is my business if I make it so” he said next to her, she laughed

“And why do you make it so?” she raised an eyebrow, he cleared his throat

“Im overseeing your training, it´s my duty that you complete it”

“Right… if I had known you getting beaten made you hot I would´ve done it since day one”

“So you want me hot?”

“Please, I know hotter guys that don´t even need to try!” she rolled her eyes

“Lies” he moved closer to her

“Personal space, Vincent” she said in a warning voice

“Do I make you nervous?”

“You will die if you get closer”

“What? Will you kill me?”

“Leave me alone, Vincent” she quickened her pace and changed her direction

***

“Welcome back everybody” the principal said from the stage of the packed auditorium “Let us make this year a good one filled with your hard-work and best conduct because you are representing Burgeoys at every step of the way. I expect to see all of you here at the end of the school year with many accomplishments and success. We do not wish to send anybody away but for this you must show a proper behavior in and out of school” the principal looked at everybody in the auditorium, the new students shrink a little at it.

“Today as every year –he continued- we welcome new students –he looked at the new students sitting in the front- I congratulate you for entering in our institution and to our old young students that come to the elders side of the school –the man smiled and the new ones flinched a little- you will find that the older students will be helpful in anything you need, one of the seniors will be assigned to you as guides. Seniors, I expect your outmost cooperation and best conduct to guide your younger classmates…”

The man continued in his speech telling students what was expected of them and what they were supposed to do in that first day of school. The man spoke a lot but he had a presence so commanding that hardly anyone dare to move from their place until he finished and made the classes leave with their new homeroom teacher.

When exiting the auditorium Joshua looked for Nichole but she was nowhere be seen. “Maybe she hasn´t come back” he thought.

“Your girlfriend hasn´t come” Aaron elbowed Josh when their classes passed next to the other

“That’s ´cause I don´t have one” Josh said at the same time that his phone vibrated in his pocket. He took it out.

“Classroom?” it said. He typed a quick reply

“I take it that she Just reported” Aaron teased

“I’m sure she´ll appreciate your deep concern about her whereabouts” Josh grinned catching his twin by surprise and leaving him with wide eyes as they moved away

Just as the group was about to enter the classroom the homeroom teacher was called. Josh sat in the desk in the middle of the row that was closes to the windows. All the students entered, the last one in the line was Nichole. Her hair was in a ponytail, the stick of a lollipop between her lips. Before she sat on the desk in front of his, she flashed a quick smile and dropped a milk candy on his desk. He smiled and whispered a “hi, Nic” as the teacher came in.

“As you already know, I will be your homeroom teacher and your chemistry teacher. Now for the dress code, today I can see all of you are properly dressed, congratulations, keep it that way for the rest of the year or you are not coming in …” the teacher continued and Nichole tuned her out, it was some version of what she´d heard over and over.

“We´ll only have a small change this year –the teacher said, Nichole and many others refocused their attention- since Joshua Joined us last year when the school year had already started he´ll be paired with another student with more time in Burgeoys, you –she referred to Josh- will be responsible for the younger student that gets assigned to you, you´ll be his or her guide and your partner will be responsible for you, ok?” she asked and he nodded

“You´ll be paired with Nichole Cristales, ok?” she looked at the girl as if daring her to say no but the girl nodded her approval. After that, the teacher asked took them to the 7th grades, in the other building.

“I’m glad we were partnered –Nic said on the way down- that way I can let you do your thing”

“I won’t let you” he raised his eyebrow

“Yes, you will, you´ll do everything”

“No way!” he said and she gave him her half smile

When they got to the classroom they were assigned, the teachers greeted each other and the 7^th homeroom teacher began talking

“Listen up! As you heard our principal, a senior will be with you for this year. They´ll explain you more of their experience here and you´ll see this part of the school with them. You can ask them about it as well. They can let you know which teacher´s the worst –she pointed to herself- who´s the most strict –she pointed to herself again, some seniors chuckled- and all of that –she waved a hand- We´d like you to consider them like your big brothers or sister and now I´ll be telling you who they are, after that you can go with them for the tour of this side of the school, to find your locker, to get your new ID, to see the SCR and the clubs as well as the sports center”

The teachers started to call names; once the students were called they left the room.

“Joshua Arlington and Nichole Cristales –they both took a step forward- you´ll be with Katherine Smitch” Josh noticed Nichole flinched a little it at the mention of the girl´s name. Since they were next to the other, he brushed her hand with his, his fingers against her palm; she glanced his way and hooked her fingers with his for a second before letting go. The young girl went to them. Nichole walked out of the classroom followed by the girl and then Josh

“It´s nice to meet you, Katherine –said Nichole once they exited the building- you can call me Nic” she smiled, her tone was calm and friendly

“Kate” the younger girl seemed to stand straighter “You´re Joshua, right?” she looked at him

“Yup, Josh. Where do you want to go first?”

“To get my ID?”

“Alright, let´s go” Josh said, they started to walk to the office

“How long have you been here, Kate?” Josh asked

“Two years. How about you?”

“I came here last year, the school year had already started but Nichole has been here for a while”

“I know” said the girl somewhat shy. Nichole glanced her way

“You do?” the older girl asked in a calm voice

“Yeah… we… everybody knows you´re the top student”

“You´re famous Nic!” Josh grinned, the girl rolled her eyes

“I still don´t know why” she sighed

“Being the top student would do that, right Kate?” Josh said still grinning

“Yeah, you´re like a mystery!” said Kate and immediately looked like she was afraid she´d said too much

“She is a mystery” Josh agreed

“You two are getting along well” Nichole smiled a little.

The three students walked through the most important places to know of the school, Kate did know the school but not the part where the older students were, Burgeoys kept them separated until they got to seventh grade. They went, like many others, to the library, cafeteria, SCR, the arts building and the sports center. They also got her a map of this part of the school “just in case” Nic said winking

mint and smoke (ff)

A/N: I´ll post this one before I lose my nerve! hahaha This is a slash-y fanfiction of two of my fav boys from one of my dear friend´s story: Dom and Pat. It´s really like a scene more than a real ff. It´s a bit scary because I dont know if I did them well but here it is. It sort of makes me happy because it´s the first thing I publish after a long long time!!
Have a laugh at this Saku!!!
****

“You´ll pay for that so you better start explaining!” narrowed brown eyes stared at me with that familiar piercing gaze

“Yeah?” I raised an eyebrow, not recoiling an inch, that piercing gaze that was being directed to me had no effect on me. No. it did have a huge effect just not fear, no, those brown eyes could never make me fear. I held Dominic´s gaze as a barely imperceptible smile formed in my lips. whoopps too late, he noticed it.

The lean boy right next to me narrowed his yes even more as he jumped on me. Wresting, playfully fighting, it was only the two of us, late at night. We´d been playing some racing video game and I had cheated out of boredom making my best friend lose the game right when he was about to win.

I laughed as I wrestled with Dominic, he´s smaller but strong. I’m sure that despite our size differences if this wasn’t playing we´d be pretty much even. Dom´s inner strength makes up for whatever size or strength difference we might have, but playful or not, I had to win and I know he feels the same way.

I managed to pin Dominic under me, my legs on either side of his hips, my forearms pressing his shoulders and my hands around his wrists, because he was strong I had to use all my body and in a second I noticed how close we were, I noticed my best friend´s messy hair, his brown eyes that reminded me of some kind of drink we´d had together, a drink that´d scorched our tongues and throats but that would make us take another drink and another, such were those eyes.

A glint of one of Dom´s many piercings brought me back to reality. Dominic´s eyebrow had gone up ever so slightly questioning, his eyes moved a little, studying my face. I did the same until I noticed he was wearing a smirk as he looked at my mouth which was slightly opened and who knows for how long it had been that way.

“So, how do you like to have me pinned under you?” he said as the side of his lips curled up. It was like the wind had been knocked out of me. I needed air. I needed a cigarette, badly. I will forever wonder how he manages to be the one in control even when he´s not the one in control.

“Seems like you like it just fine from up here” I said not backing away. I could be lightheaded but I wouldn’t buckle, though in a way I did because without noticing I had lowered myself onto him. Our noses practically touching, our chests did touch every time I breathed. Dominic raised both eyebrows, like a “what now?” or a “do you dare to…?” and I dared.

I leaned all the way down at the same time that I let free on of his hands. I took his mouth in mine, savoring his smirk, minding much the hot shape of his lips that drives girls and guys equally crazy. This was no soft kiss; this was a hard kiss where I took my chance to finally explore his mouth.

Finally.

such a hard pix to find >_<

We´d kissed before, on dares, on drunken nights after a party, on the insistence of the girls but never like this. He´d never had any scruples invading my mouth when those times happened, my mouth or anybody´s mouth for that matter, the guy likes kissing hard and good and he never left unsatisfied but I had never kissed him, not like this. I had always been able to feel his snaky tongue and taste afterwards but this time I wanted my taste to linger in him, smoke and mints in his mouth, I wanted to turn his lips red with mine and so I went for it, unapologetic, he didn’t complain, he kissed me back, playfully at first like all those other times and then he was with me, only with me like when we talk about everything and nothing.

I felt him free his other hand from mine; it went to my neck, his rough fingertips brushing the bones in my back. I pulled him closer to me and touched under his jacket, under his sweater.

“Enjoying yourself?” his breath tickled in my ea. I felt him smile against me as clearly as the cool metal bars and rings in his face contrasted with my hot skin

“You´re not bad, man” I chuckled because I sound less cool than what I had expected. We had managed to sit up, his body on my lap. I pulled him again to me and by the look in his eyes I could tell he was having a great time with my insistence, the jerk loved it.

It was a kiss that left me out of breath, my chest rising quick, he let go a little and kissed me one more time. I took his lip between my teeth and he tasted me, he chuckled, ruffled my hair as I was still trying to catch my breath.

“You should consider quit smoking –he said with a serious expression. I raised an eyebrow slightly annoyed, his expression melted into a relaxed, a playful one- you´re out of breath too quick. Can’t keep up” he smirked as he adjusted my discarded gray beanie back on my head. I watched him with a blank expression as I blew the smoke of my recently lit cigarette in his face. He popped a mint in his mouth; it was my time to smirk…

-untittled-

I was loved
She loved me.
She gave me sunshine and moonlight
She brought me a new life
She was the shelter that kept me safe from rain
she was the smile that graced my lips
She was the song in my voice.

my sweetheart, my hero
I will forever be hers
I am always with her
I lived because she loved me
I breathed because she smiled at me.

She was mine.
I was the luckiest.
I was loved
I was hers.

*written on september 5th 2013*
*This is actually a message from death from one of my character´s to another hahaha it´s so weird, I know but it seems apropriate for today*