Boys: they come in every size and color, it is said that they´re usually stronger than girls, taller as well. Grandma says that they are all the same. Mom as been saying so, as well, for a while now. I´ve heard they are driven by getting something, like a runner wanting to get to the finish line. Only that matters, the outcome and then they go and find for something else to get. I wonder...
I don´t know many people, let alone boys. There´s one very important for me and that is my brother who´s always given insight in guy´s perspective of life, I must say I don´t share many of their opinions. Then, there´s my father, someone I admired for a long while and then broke me to pieces. We ended up in good terms though. He´s the reason why mom says they are all the same. Then there are the rest of the ones I´ve met, so far they´ve been the same.
And this is how it goes: at the begining they´re all nice and friendly. Conversation gets interesting. They start to praise me. Some time goes by between conversations and me thinking I´m getting to know someone that posibly wants to be my friend. I get more praises.... then, what always happens, they say they like me. And for a while I might be suspecting that such thing is going to be said but I want to think it won´t, but they do it and I hate it, because all those who have said it haven´t gotten to know me for real, because all those who have said it seem too eager to say that without really being close to me, without me having shown any interest of that kind. Why do they confuse my kindness and education?
This is how it follows: I´ll usually ask "how do you say that if you don´t know me that well?" and they try to convince me they do no matter what. They keep saying it. I ask them not to, some might even want to persuade me that it is real, but it always ends up like this: I say I don´t like them back, that I want only a friend and I don´t hear from them ever again.
It seems grandma is right. I just went throught that. This one was even mad, so I have had the ones that keep insisting, the ones that say get depressed and then appologize but keep with the same thing and now the ones that get mad. Are guys just driven by their primitive impulses and not their rational minds? The worst part is that some of them have just known me through the internet!!!
Friday, May 25, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Hell Circles: saving the demon heir III
A/N: two post in one day? wow! I just want to say a few things:
-I´m very thankfull for the internet and those cute images that provides me and though I am not really giving propper credit to whoever did them it´s only because I don´t know who did it.
-I hope this doesn´t feel so confusing for the whole he/she thing. I want to let know that it´s been quite a challenge to not use male of female pronouns when Zett´s not male of female -even now, it was hard not to say "when he´s not in his human form" because "he" is not a "he". Languages should be a little bit more neutral at times. We need new words.
********
I sat on the bed and now that physical pain wasn't felt in my body anymore, the pain of being abandoned at the mercy of a demon hit hard on me. I knelt down and prayed knowing that my prayers wouldn't pass from the ceiling.
“Zett asks you to join him in the library” a voice woke me up. My legs hurt, I had fallen asleep while praying. I didn't make any move.
“You shouldn't disobey Zett´s orders” the servant said but I didn´t move. The servant left. A few minutes passed. I heard footsteps and then the door of my room-cell was thrown open, it was Zett.
“I called for you. If I call for you, you have to come! simple as that!” Zett yelled grabbing my arm and lifting me. I looked at the crimson eyes as if that could make any difference. “I said I wouldn't hit you anymore but there are other bad things I could do to you that don't involve hitting” my jailer whispered in my ear and then threw me to the bed. The servant that had followed him left immediately, closing the door behind him. I sat, Zett pushed me down, while climbing on top of me.
The crimson eyes remained but the shape that held them was other. Zett transformed into a woman, the strength intact though. The woman ripped my shirt off and her hand traveled down my pants, I pushed her, she was still stronger than me. She laughed.
“Not this body, ha?” she said taking the shape of a man. “What about this one?” he whispered lusty into my ear. I pushed him again but it was useless, he was many times stronger than me.
“And this is how you expect me to give you something willingly?” I said, only a murmur. He stopped as if paralyzed by my words. He got off of me but kept his male body.
“What do you prefer for feeding?” he asked. I looked at him with questioning eyes, it was like this was another being entirely . “Well, you are after all in human shape, I don´t think that´s the one you prefer so you must be stuck in it” he said correctly, I looked down.
“So, human food or energy?” he asked, all traces of anger and lust gone. I looked at his eyes. He sighed and got closer to me, I leaned away a little. He held my head and put his lips over mine. I would've pushed him away if he had not passed energy in me as his lips pressed mine. It had been too long time since I had have any. I didn't know it but I was hungry, famished. I knew it when he tried to let go and I leaned forward moving with him. I felt him smile.
“Energy will be then” he said when I was able to pull myself away from him.
“I want food” I said mad at myself for having let him touch me and affect me like that.
“I just gave you some”
“Human food”
“There´s no human food in this house” he smirked and leaned forward
“Then I don´t want any” I said fighting the urge to grab him to take more. He seemed to smile and leaned even forward, our noses were practically touching.
“I know you do” he said barely opening his mouth.I breathed in what energy escaped from his mouth“You are weak and need this” he would know, he had held me captive for a long while without anything to feed from.
“I don´t need you” but I did. Was he going to do as I said if I asked for something?
“Oh, you do” he said putting his mouth over mine again, a flow of energy went through me and I took it eagerly despite myself. He moved away and again I followed him, again. “You see? you can´t help it” he said smirking again. I looked away.
“Our deal.... you said to ask anything”
“Except going away... what do you want?” his tone made me believe he found somehow interesting that I had something I want besides leaving.
“Do not feed me through your mouth” I stared at him and he laughed
“What? does it feel sinful to kiss a man?” he laughed again shifting his shape to that of a woman again “What about this one?” she said as she put her lips on mine again. The more energy I got the more I wanted, it was not enough. He was controlling the amount that I got, it was too little and the taste wasn´t the best but I couldn´t help it, my strong will had abandoned me, maybe this body had a survival instinc that kill it.
“So you like this one better? -the female Zett asked lifting one of her perfect shaped eyebrows-I´m keeping the other, you know”
“I don´t like either... just not your mouth” was I pleading to a demon? I had fallen so low.
“Ah, well, there are other places I could use” she said, her hands went to my chest
“No!” I raised my voice, shoving away her hands, it startled her “just go back to your own shape when feeding me”
“You´ll take what you get” she said going back to her original genderless form.
“So much for a deal” I huffed
“It said obedience as well” the genderless being said and I looked away. Zett left and I knelt again praying for forgiveness. I fell asleep knelt down but woke up laying on my bed, I didn´t recall getting on it. I had the dream again that night: gentle hands caressing my hair, soft fingers brushing my face. An odd dream, all that I lacked of.
Some other day, I could barely keep track of time, it was was a never ending succesion of nothingness and solitude, while I went over the contents of the bedroom I found that there was a little bookshelf partially hidden by the drawer. I started reading the books. My days passed slowly and solitary while I read the books and stayed at my bedroom-cell. I think a week passed and I didn´t see or even heard Zett, then another week and another. I felt weak but there was nothing I could do. I missed the daylight the most, in my room-cell there were no windows and I just didn´t feel like going outside it, it was just an extension of the cell. I was so alone and lost.
I was knelt down, my elbows on my bed, I was praying, it helped me to pass the long hours even if it didn´t help me for anything else, the door was opened which was strange since in the time here after the last time Zett had come no one else had entered, I didn´t stop praying.
I felt something being put on the bed, I opened my eyes, it was a rosary. Zett had taken me a rosary.“I have some others as well but this one is my favorite” the crimson eyed being said to me. Zett had taken his male human form. I grabbed it and I felt it was hot, it burned my skin, I threw it. Zett chuckled and showed me his hand, beads were carved in his palm. “This is what will happen every time you take it”. He grabbed it again and placed it on my nightstand.
“Come” he said kind, helping me to get up. I eyed him suspiciously but decided to sat on the bed next to him. He shifted to his original form and brushed my hair with what were his hands. I furrowed my brows, it felt like my dream. Had Zett...? I couldn't even made my mind to finish that thought. With that touch I could feel a little energy being passed on. I stared into the crimson eyes and the demon held out a hand.
“Is this a better way for you?” the demon asked the hand still extended. I reluctantly took it and felt how a great flow of energy was being passed to me. My human body started to breath quickly while every fiber of it felt more alive than I had felt since I became a fallen angel.
“Why haven’t you came out of your room? -Zett asked and I noticed my eyes were closed- we have a deal -I was reminded of that when I didn´t answer.
“I don´t want to leave this cell to see the rest of the jail”
“Maybe one day you´ll feel like going to the library” The crimson eyed demon said looking at the book open on the bed. I remained silent.
We heard a knock on the door and soon after one of his servants entered.
“I told you not to come here” the demon´s harsh voice vibrated through the room“Yes, Hiosp, but your guests insisted”
“Get out” was the answer the servant got. Zett´s crimson eyes seemed to be much more intense.
“Who am I that you make me wait, Zett?” another crimson eyed being said. Zett let go of my hand.
“Yotta, you should've waited for me” Zett walked over to the guest while changing to his male form, as he did so, his guest also took a human form, a female model-like form, and they kissed, it felt almost obscene to see.
“Why are you making me wait and then jumping on me like this?” the demon called Yotta asked trying to look past Zett. She smirked when she saw me “So this is what you were doing” she stepped out of Zett´s reach and walked my direction, fast, she grabbed my face and place a forced kiss to my mouth, I pushed her hard and she bit me.
“Yotta!” Zett called her in a harsh voice while pulling her away from me. I cleaned my lips with the back of my hand.
“What, Zett? ” she asked curtly.
“Let´s go downstairs” male Zett said to her coldly but still holding her hand.
“No Zett, I want that angel” she smiled a wicked smile. I wanted so bad to have my powers, I was never a warrior angel but I knew I had have power to defeat demons.
“Yotta, that angel... -Zett sighed- you can´t have”
“I am your elder, Zett, you are not allowed to tell me what I can´t have” her voice seemed to change somehow, it had and edge of authority now.
“I know, Yotta, but this is my house and that one has a pact with me”
“I did not feel any bound between you too, so he´s not sure about that which is good news for me”
“I don´t need to prove you anything” Zett said and she grinned
“Ah, Zett, that´s what I like about you” she said turning into another kind of woman, a slimmer one. She kissed Zett again, he draw his hand to her crotch and then I realized she hadn´t changed into a woman but into a man, a very female-looking man. Zett led him out.“I want that bed” Yotta said. Zett kissed him eagerly and lewdly to lift him and take him away.
I grabbed my rosary -which burn as much or more as the first time- and started to pray. I knew I was living in a demon´s house but to see first hand what that life was without being able to do anything made me sick. Every bead was being carved into my hands as I held it and prayed. About what felt like a couple of hours later, the door was opened and I looked back for I had learned to recognize Zett presence and this was no Zett, it was the man that Zett had carried away.
“Oh, angel, you are mine” he said. The evil in his eyes seemed to glisten like water drops. I said nothing. He walked towards me.
“I am nobody´s anything” I said when he was too close to me.
“Oh, yes you are, you are Zett´s prisoner and Zett´s my underling, therefore, you are mine” he said grabbing my hand with his. My heart started to beat fast. I knew this demon didn´t want to beat me, he wanted something else I could see it in his eyes but I knew he would beat me if he had to just to get what he wanted.
“Zett” I said and I wasn´t sure if I was asking for help, which I knew I wouldn´t get, or if I was asking Yotta to remember what Zett had said. Yotta laughed.
“You see, Zett is with me now, yeah, I´m with him in that bedroom of his and I´m here with you as well, two at once, a demon and an angel, what´s better than that for a boring day?”
“No!” I said mad and pushed him. I noticed that he didn´t feel to be as strong as he was before. I was too scared at the moment to realize Yotta had the power to divide himself and be at two places at once.
“You can fight but I´ll win” he said getting close and lifting me from behind. He placed his mouth over my neck.
“Zett” I called again, I wasn´t sure why though.
“Ah, he won´t save you, he´s too busy to listen to those whispers” the demon said against my neck while his hands held me against him. I was desperate, this was worst than being beaten. I tried to fight it and as I did so I had a memory of the time in which I was a guardian angel, it was as if my brain was telling me to try what I had seen, and I did.
“Zett, I summon you to come to me upon the pact we have” I could barely say the words.
“Aren´t you stupid!” the demon yelled at me and then grabbing me from my neck threw me against the wall, hard, he walked to me and was about to punch me but something interrupted him.
“Yotta, you might be my elder but this angel is mine” Zett said angrily, Yotta turned to him and when he saw Zett, he started to shake his head. Zett´s eyes seemed to have fire burning inside.
“You wouldn´t...” Yotta said. Zett started to talk in a strange language that I didn´t understand but I knew was the language of demons and when he finished a misty dust seemed to come out of Yotta and into Zett, Yotta seemed to be in pain. Zett was glaring at Yotta the whole time, he too seemed to be in discomfort, once that wind or dust that went through Yotta stopped he fell on his knees.
“Even though now you have the same power as I have, I can still take you down”
“I want no fight with you, Hiosp Yotta -Zett bowed his head slightly-, Drea will show you the way out” Zett said faking politeness that I was sure he wasn´t trying to hide.
“You´re ruining our relationship -the demon said- and all for a fallen angel” he almost spitted the words. Yotta glared but got up and out following Drea, the servant. I had been watching all along still on the floor where Yotta had left me, my hand was made a fist, a fist that burnt since I still had the rosary in it.
Zett walked fast to where I was and taking advantage of my surprise of what had happened kissed me, energy lightly flowing to me. I pushed him away and though I wasn´t strong enough to really push him away he moved.
“I´m sorry -the demon said- I just...”
“I don't want any of that damned demon inside me” I interrupted him while startling myself at my words. He smiled.
“It´s not his any longer, it´s mine...” he said leaning forward but not enough to touch his lips to mine. The energy going out of his mouth was like magnetism but I leaned away. He didn´t follow me.
“Are you ok? did he do something to you?” Zett, still in his male form, asked while buttoning my shirt.
I shook my head lightly.“I heard you call my name” he stated, I simply looked into his eyes “how did you know how to call me?” he asked putting a strand of hair behind my ear.
“I´ve seen humans do it like that” I simply said avoiding details. He raised an eyebrow.
“Good that you saw that then.” he said. I said nothing. “You should let go of that rosary, you are burning your hand” he said taking my hand and then the rosary that he placed again on the nightstand.
Like the demon named Yotta he shifted to a very androgynous form which was his own form and held my hand, the demon was feeding me. I looked at my jailer intently.“This is not Yotta -the crimson eyes seemed to smile as if copying the lips below them- this is me now, because it´s coming out of me not him”
“What happened?” I asked in a barely audible voice. Our hands still clasped together.
“You refuse to talk to me yet you ask questions?” the demon said but the voice tone showed that I was going to get an answer so I waited.
“Tell you what -my jailer said- if you tell me why you appeared at my door and let me feed you through my mouth, I´ll tell you everything that you want to know about today”
I looked away. According to the deal we had I had to obey what Zett wanted so I didn´t want to say no, but of course I didn´t want to say yes either.
“Tell me what you think -I still looked away- answer me” crimson eyes finished with more authority. I sighed still feeding from the one who had wronged me so badly. It was so ironic.
“I don´t want kisses and I don´t feel like talking about that”
“Won´t you kiss me as a thank you for taking Yotta´s hand off of you” the demon said quite persuasively while lifting my chin with the hand that wasn´t holding mine. I shook my head.
“Ok -the demon continued- won´t you let me kiss you as a ´thank you´” I stayed quiet for a second and then, still looking into his crimson eyes I parted my lips just a bit and breathed once through my mouth. His eyes looked at my lips and then to my eyes, a question dancing in them. I kept looking at the intense crimson eyes and as the face that held them got closer I closed my green eyes. It was just a light kiss but it felt to be filled with energy.
-I´m very thankfull for the internet and those cute images that provides me and though I am not really giving propper credit to whoever did them it´s only because I don´t know who did it.
-I hope this doesn´t feel so confusing for the whole he/she thing. I want to let know that it´s been quite a challenge to not use male of female pronouns when Zett´s not male of female -even now, it was hard not to say "when he´s not in his human form" because "he" is not a "he". Languages should be a little bit more neutral at times. We need new words.
********
I sat on the bed and now that physical pain wasn't felt in my body anymore, the pain of being abandoned at the mercy of a demon hit hard on me. I knelt down and prayed knowing that my prayers wouldn't pass from the ceiling. “Zett asks you to join him in the library” a voice woke me up. My legs hurt, I had fallen asleep while praying. I didn't make any move.
“You shouldn't disobey Zett´s orders” the servant said but I didn´t move. The servant left. A few minutes passed. I heard footsteps and then the door of my room-cell was thrown open, it was Zett.
“I called for you. If I call for you, you have to come! simple as that!” Zett yelled grabbing my arm and lifting me. I looked at the crimson eyes as if that could make any difference. “I said I wouldn't hit you anymore but there are other bad things I could do to you that don't involve hitting” my jailer whispered in my ear and then threw me to the bed. The servant that had followed him left immediately, closing the door behind him. I sat, Zett pushed me down, while climbing on top of me.
The crimson eyes remained but the shape that held them was other. Zett transformed into a woman, the strength intact though. The woman ripped my shirt off and her hand traveled down my pants, I pushed her, she was still stronger than me. She laughed.
“Not this body, ha?” she said taking the shape of a man. “What about this one?” he whispered lusty into my ear. I pushed him again but it was useless, he was many times stronger than me.
“And this is how you expect me to give you something willingly?” I said, only a murmur. He stopped as if paralyzed by my words. He got off of me but kept his male body.
“What do you prefer for feeding?” he asked. I looked at him with questioning eyes, it was like this was another being entirely . “Well, you are after all in human shape, I don´t think that´s the one you prefer so you must be stuck in it” he said correctly, I looked down.
“So, human food or energy?” he asked, all traces of anger and lust gone. I looked at his eyes. He sighed and got closer to me, I leaned away a little. He held my head and put his lips over mine. I would've pushed him away if he had not passed energy in me as his lips pressed mine. It had been too long time since I had have any. I didn't know it but I was hungry, famished. I knew it when he tried to let go and I leaned forward moving with him. I felt him smile.
“Energy will be then” he said when I was able to pull myself away from him.
“I want food” I said mad at myself for having let him touch me and affect me like that.
“I just gave you some”
“Human food”
“There´s no human food in this house” he smirked and leaned forward
“Then I don´t want any” I said fighting the urge to grab him to take more. He seemed to smile and leaned even forward, our noses were practically touching.
“I know you do” he said barely opening his mouth.I breathed in what energy escaped from his mouth“You are weak and need this” he would know, he had held me captive for a long while without anything to feed from.
“I don´t need you” but I did. Was he going to do as I said if I asked for something?
“Oh, you do” he said putting his mouth over mine again, a flow of energy went through me and I took it eagerly despite myself. He moved away and again I followed him, again. “You see? you can´t help it” he said smirking again. I looked away.
“Our deal.... you said to ask anything”
“Except going away... what do you want?” his tone made me believe he found somehow interesting that I had something I want besides leaving.
“Do not feed me through your mouth” I stared at him and he laughed
“What? does it feel sinful to kiss a man?” he laughed again shifting his shape to that of a woman again “What about this one?” she said as she put her lips on mine again. The more energy I got the more I wanted, it was not enough. He was controlling the amount that I got, it was too little and the taste wasn´t the best but I couldn´t help it, my strong will had abandoned me, maybe this body had a survival instinc that kill it.
“So you like this one better? -the female Zett asked lifting one of her perfect shaped eyebrows-I´m keeping the other, you know”
“I don´t like either... just not your mouth” was I pleading to a demon? I had fallen so low.
“Ah, well, there are other places I could use” she said, her hands went to my chest
“No!” I raised my voice, shoving away her hands, it startled her “just go back to your own shape when feeding me”
“You´ll take what you get” she said going back to her original genderless form.
“So much for a deal” I huffed
“It said obedience as well” the genderless being said and I looked away. Zett left and I knelt again praying for forgiveness. I fell asleep knelt down but woke up laying on my bed, I didn´t recall getting on it. I had the dream again that night: gentle hands caressing my hair, soft fingers brushing my face. An odd dream, all that I lacked of.
Some other day, I could barely keep track of time, it was was a never ending succesion of nothingness and solitude, while I went over the contents of the bedroom I found that there was a little bookshelf partially hidden by the drawer. I started reading the books. My days passed slowly and solitary while I read the books and stayed at my bedroom-cell. I think a week passed and I didn´t see or even heard Zett, then another week and another. I felt weak but there was nothing I could do. I missed the daylight the most, in my room-cell there were no windows and I just didn´t feel like going outside it, it was just an extension of the cell. I was so alone and lost.
I was knelt down, my elbows on my bed, I was praying, it helped me to pass the long hours even if it didn´t help me for anything else, the door was opened which was strange since in the time here after the last time Zett had come no one else had entered, I didn´t stop praying.
I felt something being put on the bed, I opened my eyes, it was a rosary. Zett had taken me a rosary.“I have some others as well but this one is my favorite” the crimson eyed being said to me. Zett had taken his male human form. I grabbed it and I felt it was hot, it burned my skin, I threw it. Zett chuckled and showed me his hand, beads were carved in his palm. “This is what will happen every time you take it”. He grabbed it again and placed it on my nightstand.
“Come” he said kind, helping me to get up. I eyed him suspiciously but decided to sat on the bed next to him. He shifted to his original form and brushed my hair with what were his hands. I furrowed my brows, it felt like my dream. Had Zett...? I couldn't even made my mind to finish that thought. With that touch I could feel a little energy being passed on. I stared into the crimson eyes and the demon held out a hand.
“Is this a better way for you?” the demon asked the hand still extended. I reluctantly took it and felt how a great flow of energy was being passed to me. My human body started to breath quickly while every fiber of it felt more alive than I had felt since I became a fallen angel.
“Why haven’t you came out of your room? -Zett asked and I noticed my eyes were closed- we have a deal -I was reminded of that when I didn´t answer.
“I don´t want to leave this cell to see the rest of the jail”
“Maybe one day you´ll feel like going to the library” The crimson eyed demon said looking at the book open on the bed. I remained silent.
We heard a knock on the door and soon after one of his servants entered.
“I told you not to come here” the demon´s harsh voice vibrated through the room“Yes, Hiosp, but your guests insisted”
“Get out” was the answer the servant got. Zett´s crimson eyes seemed to be much more intense.
“Who am I that you make me wait, Zett?” another crimson eyed being said. Zett let go of my hand.
“Yotta, you should've waited for me” Zett walked over to the guest while changing to his male form, as he did so, his guest also took a human form, a female model-like form, and they kissed, it felt almost obscene to see.
“Why are you making me wait and then jumping on me like this?” the demon called Yotta asked trying to look past Zett. She smirked when she saw me “So this is what you were doing” she stepped out of Zett´s reach and walked my direction, fast, she grabbed my face and place a forced kiss to my mouth, I pushed her hard and she bit me.
“Yotta!” Zett called her in a harsh voice while pulling her away from me. I cleaned my lips with the back of my hand.
“What, Zett? ” she asked curtly.
“Let´s go downstairs” male Zett said to her coldly but still holding her hand.
“No Zett, I want that angel” she smiled a wicked smile. I wanted so bad to have my powers, I was never a warrior angel but I knew I had have power to defeat demons.
“Yotta, that angel... -Zett sighed- you can´t have”
“I am your elder, Zett, you are not allowed to tell me what I can´t have” her voice seemed to change somehow, it had and edge of authority now.
“I know, Yotta, but this is my house and that one has a pact with me”
“I did not feel any bound between you too, so he´s not sure about that which is good news for me”
“I don´t need to prove you anything” Zett said and she grinned
“Ah, Zett, that´s what I like about you” she said turning into another kind of woman, a slimmer one. She kissed Zett again, he draw his hand to her crotch and then I realized she hadn´t changed into a woman but into a man, a very female-looking man. Zett led him out.“I want that bed” Yotta said. Zett kissed him eagerly and lewdly to lift him and take him away.
I grabbed my rosary -which burn as much or more as the first time- and started to pray. I knew I was living in a demon´s house but to see first hand what that life was without being able to do anything made me sick. Every bead was being carved into my hands as I held it and prayed. About what felt like a couple of hours later, the door was opened and I looked back for I had learned to recognize Zett presence and this was no Zett, it was the man that Zett had carried away.
“Oh, angel, you are mine” he said. The evil in his eyes seemed to glisten like water drops. I said nothing. He walked towards me.
“I am nobody´s anything” I said when he was too close to me.
“Oh, yes you are, you are Zett´s prisoner and Zett´s my underling, therefore, you are mine” he said grabbing my hand with his. My heart started to beat fast. I knew this demon didn´t want to beat me, he wanted something else I could see it in his eyes but I knew he would beat me if he had to just to get what he wanted.
“Zett” I said and I wasn´t sure if I was asking for help, which I knew I wouldn´t get, or if I was asking Yotta to remember what Zett had said. Yotta laughed.
“You see, Zett is with me now, yeah, I´m with him in that bedroom of his and I´m here with you as well, two at once, a demon and an angel, what´s better than that for a boring day?”
“No!” I said mad and pushed him. I noticed that he didn´t feel to be as strong as he was before. I was too scared at the moment to realize Yotta had the power to divide himself and be at two places at once.
“You can fight but I´ll win” he said getting close and lifting me from behind. He placed his mouth over my neck.
“Zett” I called again, I wasn´t sure why though.
“Ah, he won´t save you, he´s too busy to listen to those whispers” the demon said against my neck while his hands held me against him. I was desperate, this was worst than being beaten. I tried to fight it and as I did so I had a memory of the time in which I was a guardian angel, it was as if my brain was telling me to try what I had seen, and I did.
“Zett, I summon you to come to me upon the pact we have” I could barely say the words.
“Yotta, you might be my elder but this angel is mine” Zett said angrily, Yotta turned to him and when he saw Zett, he started to shake his head. Zett´s eyes seemed to have fire burning inside.
“You wouldn´t...” Yotta said. Zett started to talk in a strange language that I didn´t understand but I knew was the language of demons and when he finished a misty dust seemed to come out of Yotta and into Zett, Yotta seemed to be in pain. Zett was glaring at Yotta the whole time, he too seemed to be in discomfort, once that wind or dust that went through Yotta stopped he fell on his knees.
“Even though now you have the same power as I have, I can still take you down”
“I want no fight with you, Hiosp Yotta -Zett bowed his head slightly-, Drea will show you the way out” Zett said faking politeness that I was sure he wasn´t trying to hide.
“You´re ruining our relationship -the demon said- and all for a fallen angel” he almost spitted the words. Yotta glared but got up and out following Drea, the servant. I had been watching all along still on the floor where Yotta had left me, my hand was made a fist, a fist that burnt since I still had the rosary in it.
Zett walked fast to where I was and taking advantage of my surprise of what had happened kissed me, energy lightly flowing to me. I pushed him away and though I wasn´t strong enough to really push him away he moved.
“I´m sorry -the demon said- I just...”
“I don't want any of that damned demon inside me” I interrupted him while startling myself at my words. He smiled.
“It´s not his any longer, it´s mine...” he said leaning forward but not enough to touch his lips to mine. The energy going out of his mouth was like magnetism but I leaned away. He didn´t follow me.
“Are you ok? did he do something to you?” Zett, still in his male form, asked while buttoning my shirt.
I shook my head lightly.“I heard you call my name” he stated, I simply looked into his eyes “how did you know how to call me?” he asked putting a strand of hair behind my ear.
“I´ve seen humans do it like that” I simply said avoiding details. He raised an eyebrow.
“Good that you saw that then.” he said. I said nothing. “You should let go of that rosary, you are burning your hand” he said taking my hand and then the rosary that he placed again on the nightstand.
Like the demon named Yotta he shifted to a very androgynous form which was his own form and held my hand, the demon was feeding me. I looked at my jailer intently.“This is not Yotta -the crimson eyes seemed to smile as if copying the lips below them- this is me now, because it´s coming out of me not him”
“What happened?” I asked in a barely audible voice. Our hands still clasped together.
“You refuse to talk to me yet you ask questions?” the demon said but the voice tone showed that I was going to get an answer so I waited.
“Tell you what -my jailer said- if you tell me why you appeared at my door and let me feed you through my mouth, I´ll tell you everything that you want to know about today”
I looked away. According to the deal we had I had to obey what Zett wanted so I didn´t want to say no, but of course I didn´t want to say yes either.
“Tell me what you think -I still looked away- answer me” crimson eyes finished with more authority. I sighed still feeding from the one who had wronged me so badly. It was so ironic.
“I don´t want kisses and I don´t feel like talking about that”
“Won´t you kiss me as a thank you for taking Yotta´s hand off of you” the demon said quite persuasively while lifting my chin with the hand that wasn´t holding mine. I shook my head.
“Ok -the demon continued- won´t you let me kiss you as a ´thank you´” I stayed quiet for a second and then, still looking into his crimson eyes I parted my lips just a bit and breathed once through my mouth. His eyes looked at my lips and then to my eyes, a question dancing in them. I kept looking at the intense crimson eyes and as the face that held them got closer I closed my green eyes. It was just a light kiss but it felt to be filled with energy.
Hell Circles: Saving the demon heir II
I had a dream. I dreamed that someone was brushing my hair. In my dream someone stared at me and lightly caressed my cheek and lips. Crimson eyes appeared in my dream and startled me waking me up. I noticed I was still on the bed with white sheets and most importantly my body didn´t hurt anymore.
I sat, the white sheet slipped down my chest which was bare. I was in a room, lit by a chandelier with many crystals hanging from a high wooden ceiling, the walls were made of stone. There was a drawer, a mirror and a chair. I stood and noticed a pair of sleepers on the floor which I put on, I also noticed the rest of my body was bare as well. I went to the mirror and sighed when I saw I was trapped in the body I had have last. I wasn´t swollen anymore.
The door opened and I turned around waiting for the worst. I saw the crimson eyes which went up and down my naked body. I saw a smirk and a change in those eyes. I feared the worst. At the dungeon I had have clothes, it was ripped and tattered but I knew I had it and now I was naked and I didn´t know how much time I had been unconscious. The crimson eyes got close, I stepped back. “I´m not here to hit you” Zett said while softening those intense crimson eyes that once again traveled over my body. I quickly looked at myself. I saw little smile on Zett´s face “I haven´t done anything to you but to clean you while you´ve been here. I gain more not doing anything” Zett´s voice had a malicious tone.
“What´s your name?” just like in the dungeon, the same question was uttered, only this time after having Zett staring at me. As always I didn´t answer. Zett turned over and walked to the drawer and I wished I wasn´t trapped in this body for I could´ve done something to escape instead I just stared. “Pants” there was a malicious edge to the crimson-eyed being again but I took the pants and wore them. “I have a proposal to make -the demon smirked- I want answers and in return I´ll keep you here instead of the dungeon, I won´t hit you anymore, you´ll have what you want” I said nothing just looked into the demon´s eyes, I thought for a second that the demon looked away for a moment but I wasn´t sure “if you decline my proposal, we´ll go back to how things were, plus now I´m aware of some other things I´d like to try with you” once again Zett´s eyes traveled over my body. I knew that if I didn´t take that deal I´d go to the daily beatings and that could last for longer than what I was willing to take, so I nodded. A fleeting smile crossed my jailer.
“There are of course, a few rules -Zett made quotation marks in the air- that you must follow, but you are used to that: you have to give me answers and to obey me, you can´t go out and if you try, I´ll bring you back and it all be worse”
“Why?” I asked uttering a word for the first time. The crimson eyes seemed to change as if awe had colored them but then they went back to what they were, all in less than a second.
“I´m the one who asks the questions” Crimson eyes answered. I kept looking at those eyes “What you have I want, but I can´t take it, for if I take it, it won´t work, but if you willingly give it to me...”
“What makes you think I´m going to give you anything willingly? I´m being held captive here, I´ve been beaten by you without a reason, even now, you´re manipulating me to take your deal...” I said angry
“Forgiveness is an angel´s trait” Zett mocked me. Indeed I was an angel or had been one for now I was deserted of heavens. I had made a mistake and I had been judged without the opportunity to explain, the punishment had been to be thrown away, naked of powers or any that might help me and in the shape I had been when I made the mistake: a frail human body, that´s what I had.
“What´s your name” the crimson-eyed being asked and the recently made pact bounded me to answer.
“Eon” I simply said. Zett turned to leave
“Apart from the rules, you can do anything, ask for anything you need to the servants” the crimson eyed being said without looking at me.
I sat, the white sheet slipped down my chest which was bare. I was in a room, lit by a chandelier with many crystals hanging from a high wooden ceiling, the walls were made of stone. There was a drawer, a mirror and a chair. I stood and noticed a pair of sleepers on the floor which I put on, I also noticed the rest of my body was bare as well. I went to the mirror and sighed when I saw I was trapped in the body I had have last. I wasn´t swollen anymore.
The door opened and I turned around waiting for the worst. I saw the crimson eyes which went up and down my naked body. I saw a smirk and a change in those eyes. I feared the worst. At the dungeon I had have clothes, it was ripped and tattered but I knew I had it and now I was naked and I didn´t know how much time I had been unconscious. The crimson eyes got close, I stepped back. “I´m not here to hit you” Zett said while softening those intense crimson eyes that once again traveled over my body. I quickly looked at myself. I saw little smile on Zett´s face “I haven´t done anything to you but to clean you while you´ve been here. I gain more not doing anything” Zett´s voice had a malicious tone.
“What´s your name?” just like in the dungeon, the same question was uttered, only this time after having Zett staring at me. As always I didn´t answer. Zett turned over and walked to the drawer and I wished I wasn´t trapped in this body for I could´ve done something to escape instead I just stared. “Pants” there was a malicious edge to the crimson-eyed being again but I took the pants and wore them. “I have a proposal to make -the demon smirked- I want answers and in return I´ll keep you here instead of the dungeon, I won´t hit you anymore, you´ll have what you want” I said nothing just looked into the demon´s eyes, I thought for a second that the demon looked away for a moment but I wasn´t sure “if you decline my proposal, we´ll go back to how things were, plus now I´m aware of some other things I´d like to try with you” once again Zett´s eyes traveled over my body. I knew that if I didn´t take that deal I´d go to the daily beatings and that could last for longer than what I was willing to take, so I nodded. A fleeting smile crossed my jailer.
“There are of course, a few rules -Zett made quotation marks in the air- that you must follow, but you are used to that: you have to give me answers and to obey me, you can´t go out and if you try, I´ll bring you back and it all be worse”
“Why?” I asked uttering a word for the first time. The crimson eyes seemed to change as if awe had colored them but then they went back to what they were, all in less than a second.
“What makes you think I´m going to give you anything willingly? I´m being held captive here, I´ve been beaten by you without a reason, even now, you´re manipulating me to take your deal...” I said angry
“Forgiveness is an angel´s trait” Zett mocked me. Indeed I was an angel or had been one for now I was deserted of heavens. I had made a mistake and I had been judged without the opportunity to explain, the punishment had been to be thrown away, naked of powers or any that might help me and in the shape I had been when I made the mistake: a frail human body, that´s what I had.
“What´s your name” the crimson-eyed being asked and the recently made pact bounded me to answer.
“Eon” I simply said. Zett turned to leave
“Apart from the rules, you can do anything, ask for anything you need to the servants” the crimson eyed being said without looking at me.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Hell Circles: saving the demon heir I
A/N: if you are reading this, I have a question for you: have you already read the prologue? if not, please do, I think it´ll save future confussion or not but it might help. Ah, also this is labeled as a short story, because it is, well sort of, but I´m posting it in more than one post, I think it´ll be 3 or 4, however this is kind of my version of a "one shot" except that the story got a little longer than what I expected. Anyways thanks for reading, and if you are able to make it to the end of the post, you might as well comment as well right? :3 thank you!
******
Every little piece of my body was in pain. I was covered in blood. I was lying on the cold dirty stone floor of the cell I had been in for a week. I tried to get up, to at least lift my face from the wet dirty floor and I did but just because of a hard kick to my stomach that my prisoner directed to my side, and then another.
The beating wasn´t over yet.
“Why are you here? were you trying to defeat me? Do you really think I´d let my guard down?” I felt another kick and my hair being pulled. It was as if it was going to be tear off my scalp. I didn´t make a sound despite the pain I was in. “What’s your name? -the cruel being asked- I can´t believe I´m so little for them to send someone like you to get me” the voice was loaded with anger and hate, I wanted to be able to express such feelings too.
I was thrown against a wall. Pain made me curl up. “Come on! this is no fun, fight!” the voice became a mocking laugh. I wanted to get up and fight but I knew I was not going to win. I had lost all my powers. I had tried to fight the first day that I had been beaten but it was useless and now the voice mocked me and the arms, fists and legs hit me for pleasure as well as for anger for my lack of answers.
I never knew I could go numb or unconscious, I had never gotten more than a scratch during a fight and now I was not match for the being that was using me as a punching bag which made me discover I could go numb and unconscious for I had gone numb that day and the day after and the day after for two more weeks after those brutal beatings.
It was more and more everyday, it was either the anger my attacker had at the lack of answers or that I was becoming weaker and weaker. My eyes stared at the demon´s crimson eyes and the eyes evaded my eyes but I kept staring and at times for some reason the demon let me go in the middle of a beating. As I made sure to look into the demon's eyes, the demon tried to evade me. The crimson eyes didn't go to beat me anymore but some other came instead.
The third week that I spent in that dungeon, I wasn't able to move at all, I had been beaten so much that it was even hard to keep my eyes open so I just laid in whatever place I had last fallen after the beaten. I felt my body being lifted and then the same questions, the same fists hitting my face and the same feet kicking me all over. It had been less than usual but I was about to faint and I didn't care, I couldn't even curse this being anymore because my jaw hurt, all I could do was watch those crimson eyes through my lashes until my eyelids were so heavy that it was all dark in my head.
“Zett, what are you doing down here? come”
“Zett- I thought- this cruel being name´s Zett” after that my senses didn’t register anything else.
Next time I gained consciousness again, my skin felt first, I felt pain and my eyes shot open. I was no more in the dark humid dungeon, instead I was on a bed with white sheets. I looked to a side to see Zett with a sponge in hand about to pass it over my chest. I flinched and tried to move. I couldn't. I just stared at the crimson eyes, who docked mine and traveled over my skin. I knew it was a sponge which was going over me but it felt like my skin was being punctured. I knew Zett was being careful but it hurt, that swollen I was. What has changed? I thought and the pain numbed my mind again.
******
Every little piece of my body was in pain. I was covered in blood. I was lying on the cold dirty stone floor of the cell I had been in for a week. I tried to get up, to at least lift my face from the wet dirty floor and I did but just because of a hard kick to my stomach that my prisoner directed to my side, and then another.
The beating wasn´t over yet.
“Why are you here? were you trying to defeat me? Do you really think I´d let my guard down?” I felt another kick and my hair being pulled. It was as if it was going to be tear off my scalp. I didn´t make a sound despite the pain I was in. “What’s your name? -the cruel being asked- I can´t believe I´m so little for them to send someone like you to get me” the voice was loaded with anger and hate, I wanted to be able to express such feelings too.
I was thrown against a wall. Pain made me curl up. “Come on! this is no fun, fight!” the voice became a mocking laugh. I wanted to get up and fight but I knew I was not going to win. I had lost all my powers. I had tried to fight the first day that I had been beaten but it was useless and now the voice mocked me and the arms, fists and legs hit me for pleasure as well as for anger for my lack of answers.
I never knew I could go numb or unconscious, I had never gotten more than a scratch during a fight and now I was not match for the being that was using me as a punching bag which made me discover I could go numb and unconscious for I had gone numb that day and the day after and the day after for two more weeks after those brutal beatings.
It was more and more everyday, it was either the anger my attacker had at the lack of answers or that I was becoming weaker and weaker. My eyes stared at the demon´s crimson eyes and the eyes evaded my eyes but I kept staring and at times for some reason the demon let me go in the middle of a beating. As I made sure to look into the demon's eyes, the demon tried to evade me. The crimson eyes didn't go to beat me anymore but some other came instead.
The third week that I spent in that dungeon, I wasn't able to move at all, I had been beaten so much that it was even hard to keep my eyes open so I just laid in whatever place I had last fallen after the beaten. I felt my body being lifted and then the same questions, the same fists hitting my face and the same feet kicking me all over. It had been less than usual but I was about to faint and I didn't care, I couldn't even curse this being anymore because my jaw hurt, all I could do was watch those crimson eyes through my lashes until my eyelids were so heavy that it was all dark in my head.
“Zett- I thought- this cruel being name´s Zett” after that my senses didn’t register anything else.
Next time I gained consciousness again, my skin felt first, I felt pain and my eyes shot open. I was no more in the dark humid dungeon, instead I was on a bed with white sheets. I looked to a side to see Zett with a sponge in hand about to pass it over my chest. I flinched and tried to move. I couldn't. I just stared at the crimson eyes, who docked mine and traveled over my skin. I knew it was a sponge which was going over me but it felt like my skin was being punctured. I knew Zett was being careful but it hurt, that swollen I was. What has changed? I thought and the pain numbed my mind again.
stuff about stuff
I´ve just taken a shower and throughout this week I´ve been imagining that I´m taking a shower as Japanese people do 0_0 what? well you see in anime -specially those who show naked anime girls and their underwear all the time, n I´ve just realized I´ve never seen an anime boy showering that way- well, the thing is you see them sitting naked, their back to us, sitting on a stool, sponge in hand washing their body, well that´s how I´ve been showering, sitting on a stool -now as low at those though- why?? simply because I can´t stand on my own. I´ve been sick to the point where I can´t walk. I have bruisings that prevent me from sitting normally -yeah, I´m talking of that part of my body so? ¬¬- and that´s ´cause for a week now, I´ve gotten shots for the pain which is ironic because they´ve caused pain somewhere else, less, yeah, but pain anyways.
Geez, I don´t even know how am I going to go to work tomorrow!
I had a dream last night, in my dream I got the answer of the test I had done yesterday and it all was negative but there was one diagnosis that for some reason I couldn´t read and I somehow knew it was bad. I´m sure that it´s ´cause I´m scared of what might be the cause of me getting sick like this. The doctor even said the symptoms made him think of lupus (which I haven´t even want to look information about). One thing he said it was almost sure, he went all over my medical history, and that is that I might not be able to bear children. what? that´s a good news right? you´ve always say you don´t want to ever have children, you even said you´d wish you could get done that surgery that prevents women from getting pregnant. Well, yeah, that was me but one thing is to decide that I don´t want children and even saying I´m going to get surgery for that and other is to not be able to. I don´t like not being able but that´s probably just some kind of weird pride/stereotype thing idk because it´s not so bad after all but it seems that it´s made some kind of impact in me. Hey, so much for that friend of mine who dreamed of me carrying said friend´s child -ofc such thing is impossible but that´s one thing that I´ve been thinking lately -but just b/c of what the doctor said. I still don´t want to ever have children though.
One other thing that I´ve been thinking -mostly today- is that I´d like to start a vlog, maybe ´cause I´ve been seeing this guy, Pablo, super funny (pablovlogs is his channel, he has another in English as well) and I´m like, I´d like to make vlogs -well I thought that when I started to see Josh Sundquist channel, and JennaAnne channel and the BBB chanel and ok, everytime I start watching a new channel and find it interesting I get that feeling of wanting one as well- but then I thought in my friends, what if they see the videos and well, what if I´m inhibited infront of a camera as oposed to me being shy as I am in real life -well, who cares? I thought, if they´re my friends they must know I´m crazy and then I thought that people from work might see them and that would be no good at all so, that was the end of the having a vlog idea -which I think has been the reason for me not starting one after all this time -´cause I do have a youtube account.
Have you ever had to hold a bag of ice before? do you know that sensation you get when you hold the ice for too long, it´s cold but somehow it burns and hurts? well that´s how my legs feel right now. Have you ever felt that strange feeling when your legs fall asleep -does that term exist in English, I´m just literally translating that from Spanish from how we say it- and then you have to walk and it´s like you have ants going all over your legs but when you stand it hurts? that´s how I feel when I try to walk.
My mother told us a story about my father. I´ve heard it lots of times. My father got a gunshot in his leg,he lost some mobility and strength, the doctors told him he had to use a cane for the rest of his life -he was around 20 at the time, well, around that same time my mother was pregnat w/me and almost at the time I was going to be born, mom says that he threw his cane away -even though doctors said he was going to use it for the rest of his life- because he said he didn´t want his daughter to see him like that. I wish he hadn´t thrown it away for now it seems I need one to walk agh! I do understand what he might have felt when he threw it though, it makes you feel so useless.
I don´t want to go to work tomorrow and not because I don´t want to go, because I do, but because I know everybody will want to know why I didn´t go for a week and then when I tell them "I was sick" they will want to know what I had and I won't want to talk about it and I´ll say little but they´ll be even more curious -I know because it has happened before- and then they´ll start to give me all sorts of "medical" advices that they will want me to accept and do but I´ll be desperate for them to stop talking because without knowing they´ll be making my sadness worse and if I don´t answer them they´ll just look at me with eyes that will tell me they think I´ve been faking it. agh!
I´m so thirsty since yesterday, I´ve been drinking water but it doesn´t seem to quench the thirst -wow that´s a good phrase for a poem or a very angsty story ha!
ah, last night I was talking to one of my bff, she said that at times these things happen because God wants us to get closer to him and to follow his commands/rules -something like that- I was kind of mad at that comment. What can I be doing wrong if the only things I do are go to work and then go back to my home, I don´t even go out if not for that. Wait what? you don´t have social life? pshhh noo. Plus that term didn´t even exist back then when there was no internet or social networks, you never heard before -or at least I never heard before the phrase "I´ve been busy, I have a social life" pshhh anyway, what can I be doing wrong? the only thing that comes to mind is my girlcrush but geez! is that so bad for letting me without the ability to walk? besides I havent said anything to said girl and I´m not planning on doing so either, plus it´s not like I´d act on it, yeah, this time I´ve been more open to saying it but come on! I don´t believe in a God that punish thoughts for if he was like that we´d be all dead by now. Ah! it´s stress over that what have you this way, you might say, well naah! I´m not stressed over that anymore, there´s nothing I can do about it, plus I was much more stressed the first time it happened and I didn´t get this way. Now I just don´t mind about it, in fact I´ve started to believe I´m getting over it so no no.
I just want to walk without help again and go to work and do what I do without pain or illnesses or shot of medicine that burns.
Geez, I don´t even know how am I going to go to work tomorrow!
I had a dream last night, in my dream I got the answer of the test I had done yesterday and it all was negative but there was one diagnosis that for some reason I couldn´t read and I somehow knew it was bad. I´m sure that it´s ´cause I´m scared of what might be the cause of me getting sick like this. The doctor even said the symptoms made him think of lupus (which I haven´t even want to look information about). One thing he said it was almost sure, he went all over my medical history, and that is that I might not be able to bear children. what? that´s a good news right? you´ve always say you don´t want to ever have children, you even said you´d wish you could get done that surgery that prevents women from getting pregnant. Well, yeah, that was me but one thing is to decide that I don´t want children and even saying I´m going to get surgery for that and other is to not be able to. I don´t like not being able but that´s probably just some kind of weird pride/stereotype thing idk because it´s not so bad after all but it seems that it´s made some kind of impact in me. Hey, so much for that friend of mine who dreamed of me carrying said friend´s child -ofc such thing is impossible but that´s one thing that I´ve been thinking lately -but just b/c of what the doctor said. I still don´t want to ever have children though.
One other thing that I´ve been thinking -mostly today- is that I´d like to start a vlog, maybe ´cause I´ve been seeing this guy, Pablo, super funny (pablovlogs is his channel, he has another in English as well) and I´m like, I´d like to make vlogs -well I thought that when I started to see Josh Sundquist channel, and JennaAnne channel and the BBB chanel and ok, everytime I start watching a new channel and find it interesting I get that feeling of wanting one as well- but then I thought in my friends, what if they see the videos and well, what if I´m inhibited infront of a camera as oposed to me being shy as I am in real life -well, who cares? I thought, if they´re my friends they must know I´m crazy and then I thought that people from work might see them and that would be no good at all so, that was the end of the having a vlog idea -which I think has been the reason for me not starting one after all this time -´cause I do have a youtube account.
Have you ever had to hold a bag of ice before? do you know that sensation you get when you hold the ice for too long, it´s cold but somehow it burns and hurts? well that´s how my legs feel right now. Have you ever felt that strange feeling when your legs fall asleep -does that term exist in English, I´m just literally translating that from Spanish from how we say it- and then you have to walk and it´s like you have ants going all over your legs but when you stand it hurts? that´s how I feel when I try to walk.
My mother told us a story about my father. I´ve heard it lots of times. My father got a gunshot in his leg,he lost some mobility and strength, the doctors told him he had to use a cane for the rest of his life -he was around 20 at the time, well, around that same time my mother was pregnat w/me and almost at the time I was going to be born, mom says that he threw his cane away -even though doctors said he was going to use it for the rest of his life- because he said he didn´t want his daughter to see him like that. I wish he hadn´t thrown it away for now it seems I need one to walk agh! I do understand what he might have felt when he threw it though, it makes you feel so useless.
I don´t want to go to work tomorrow and not because I don´t want to go, because I do, but because I know everybody will want to know why I didn´t go for a week and then when I tell them "I was sick" they will want to know what I had and I won't want to talk about it and I´ll say little but they´ll be even more curious -I know because it has happened before- and then they´ll start to give me all sorts of "medical" advices that they will want me to accept and do but I´ll be desperate for them to stop talking because without knowing they´ll be making my sadness worse and if I don´t answer them they´ll just look at me with eyes that will tell me they think I´ve been faking it. agh!
I´m so thirsty since yesterday, I´ve been drinking water but it doesn´t seem to quench the thirst -wow that´s a good phrase for a poem or a very angsty story ha!
ah, last night I was talking to one of my bff, she said that at times these things happen because God wants us to get closer to him and to follow his commands/rules -something like that- I was kind of mad at that comment. What can I be doing wrong if the only things I do are go to work and then go back to my home, I don´t even go out if not for that. Wait what? you don´t have social life? pshhh noo. Plus that term didn´t even exist back then when there was no internet or social networks, you never heard before -or at least I never heard before the phrase "I´ve been busy, I have a social life" pshhh anyway, what can I be doing wrong? the only thing that comes to mind is my girlcrush but geez! is that so bad for letting me without the ability to walk? besides I havent said anything to said girl and I´m not planning on doing so either, plus it´s not like I´d act on it, yeah, this time I´ve been more open to saying it but come on! I don´t believe in a God that punish thoughts for if he was like that we´d be all dead by now. Ah! it´s stress over that what have you this way, you might say, well naah! I´m not stressed over that anymore, there´s nothing I can do about it, plus I was much more stressed the first time it happened and I didn´t get this way. Now I just don´t mind about it, in fact I´ve started to believe I´m getting over it so no no.
I just want to walk without help again and go to work and do what I do without pain or illnesses or shot of medicine that burns.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Hell Circles: saving the heir demon.
Prologue:
I never knew my existence was going to end this way. Humans have a said, everything has a purpose, I found it to be true, for hell can be turned into heaven even if it sounds impossible. This story is about how my hell became heaven after the gates of it were closed to me.
We spirits, for I am one of those, a fallen angel, have no bodies; however, as humans we have soul, and mind, and heart and desire and all those things that are invisible but produce visible outcomes. Since our mind and soul has never known the limits of a body, we are free to use it to be and feel like humans and we often do, we make ourselves bodies to taste those pleasures only a body can give.
The co-protagonist of my story is also the antagonist. A demon who, till these days, enjoys shifting between a male and female body because his real form lacks of gender and it´s not possible to tell it is a “he” or a “she”. This demon´s actions appear all along the story, at times as a “he” at times as a “she”, it is up to whoever gets out of their way to read a fallen angel´s story to remember this fact, for this language does not have a word for something like what we are.
So, this is the story of the time after I was thrown into Hell Circles where I ended up saving the heir demon who in turn saved me.
We spirits, for I am one of those, a fallen angel, have no bodies; however, as humans we have soul, and mind, and heart and desire and all those things that are invisible but produce visible outcomes. Since our mind and soul has never known the limits of a body, we are free to use it to be and feel like humans and we often do, we make ourselves bodies to taste those pleasures only a body can give.
The co-protagonist of my story is also the antagonist. A demon who, till these days, enjoys shifting between a male and female body because his real form lacks of gender and it´s not possible to tell it is a “he” or a “she”. This demon´s actions appear all along the story, at times as a “he” at times as a “she”, it is up to whoever gets out of their way to read a fallen angel´s story to remember this fact, for this language does not have a word for something like what we are.
So, this is the story of the time after I was thrown into Hell Circles where I ended up saving the heir demon who in turn saved me.
Friday, May 18, 2012
story express
wow! this was a race! Two days ago I started to write a story, today I wrote pretty much non-stop. I had just finished it. I felt that if I didn´t write it now that I had the ideas it was going to be lost. It has twenty seven pages and around fifteen thousand words. It´s about a demon and a fallen angel -yeah, there´s one more story including a fallen angel- I had to write this one. I´m not sure when I´ll be posting it though because there´s serious editing that need to be done so despite it´s finished, it´ll take me a few days to edit it. I think I´ll improve some things but for now I´m happy that I´ve finished it.
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