***AdviceS***
Last night she came. I was sleeping peacefully when I felt her hand caressing my cheeck, putting away the strands of dark hair that were over my face. She was seated on the edge of my bed just like she used to when she was alive. I opened my eyes slowly and smiled just like I used to do when she awoke me like that. I lifted my hands and stretched them to her, she leaned. A hug. I felt the smell of her skin, her soft hair. She let go then. A smile.
“hi baby!” she said with her serene voice
“hi” I smiled. It was her. Her face, posture and that aura of hers that made so easy to just `be`. it was my beloved person. The one that had been my strenth, my whole life but she had left early. It was mom. I knew I wasn’t dreaming. It was far too real for a dream.
“I want happiness for you, my love” she told me
“I know” I said smiling.
“I don’t want you to be alone, I don’t want you to be sad for us. Honey, I pray for you to have someone by your side” This talk was kind of strange for us to have. It was like she was alive again… she was like that, a bit random… when she remembered something she started to talk about that and if in the middle of that talk she remembered something else, a new topic started. To think of it, only that, made me smile.
“I was unbelievable alone when you stopped to exist. I was bitter and broken. I still miss you everyday”
“oh, baby!, you know everything happens for a purpose”
“come on! You know how much I hate that saying!” she smiled and caressed my face.
“I´m glad you are not bitter anymore” she knew me well and she was so sensitive to what I said without words.
“an angel has helped me on that…”
“is that so?”
“yes, I know you know who he is” I knew her well too.
“yes, dear, I know who is that angel…” her tone changed a little, it was not a rough one, it was still her voice but it was the tone she used to use to ´advice` wich was kind of an order to me…
“let me tell you that I´m greatful for the company he has given to you, for being a friend to you but, honey, he is no angel, he is a demon…calm down!... you know how I always thought everyone had their good part, well, probably, he has it too but, honey, if you´re with a demon what that makes you?”
“I´m not going to leave my friend over a label, not when he has been wonderful to me!”
“I´m not saying you to leave him but try not to spend all your free time only with him, try to be with other people too, make other friends, human friends”
“they´re not like him”
“exactly… besides what would happen if one day this demon thinks he likes you?” tears were coming down my eyes now. I knew that was her way of saying `I don’t approve that friend` and her wishes had always been my commands, always maybe because we had always been in agreement but I was not going to listen to her in this one. Besides, she was wrong, he was not thinking he loved me, I was.
“just listen to me, all right, he wont bring you any good and I don’t want you to pay debts by asociation”
I said nothing. It was worthless to ague, non of us were going to change our minds. She was not going to want him near me, I was not going to want him away. I closed my eyes. I felt how she caressed my cheeck once and when I opened my eyes again I was alone, she had desappeared.
I was sad, so sad but he was what I wanted and what I had of him I was going to cherish fiercely –his friendship.
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