I didn´t want to start reading it right away because I knew I´d want to read it complete at once and I wanted to really enjoy it. I already knew the ending, but everybody knows the ending but the great part is how Josh, the author, got to that point.
The book is about him, the author. He is a motivational speaker that got to be a paralympic ski racer that survived cancer -and he says all that in his videos- he´s often motivated me to keep going even though I´m a pessimist and don´t like much the self-motivation/motivational type of things but the things he says are not like what the rest say, instead of giving steps to do or to be, he lets you know that there are bad things and that it´s ok not to be ok (ok, yes, that´s a song line but I really like it) and that your attitude is what makes the difference but it´s not the "think 'this' will happen and you´ll attract it" type of speech but the type that invites you to give 100% of your effort in order to overcome the difficulties you have.
As I read his book, I was relieved to find out that even a happy and optimistic person such as him had hard times coping with his own difficulties, not that I´m glad that he had to go through that but because I felt somehow that there was something wrong with me because I was not happy enough with what I had whereas he, despite everything that life threw at him, seemed to appreciate what he has, his life so much that he makes a living out of spreading the 'good vibes' and makes me think that I might, one day, be where he is, looking at the bright side, the half full glass of life.
"Just Don't fall" really left a positive message for me, but me being me, at some lines I´d grab my pen and underline the parts where I somehow felt related... and I´m a pessimist, so was that me finding pessimism in optimism?
Here´s some of what I underlined (I hope I´m not violating any author rights, ´that´s so not my intention)
-- "I don´t want anyone to see me like this. I want to stay in my room for the whole year..."
--"Why would You do this, God? How could you do this? After I tried to be so happy for so long even thought I had one leg, and I always said such nice things about You to other people? I always told them You were great, and You had a plan, so they should trust You. And now--this?"
--"I hate my life. I hate being inspirational. I hate being mature for my age. I hate all that shit"
--"Because my mind has floated back into that gray expanse of space, about how I sit inclass and, whileeveryone else seemscontent to be a student and learn things, I worry about the craziest things, like whether I am dying and wheterh I am living -you know, like, really living- life to the carpe-diem fullest, until my chest gets tight.."
Every time I was underlining those I felt like crying. I put the book aside and lay down for a few minutes while I breathed slowly, in and out, in and out until the tears went away.
Last Tuesday I returned to my job from the two-weeks off I had, I woke up before five in the morning, I remembered the book, I remembered some prayer that the author of this book did "God, if You want me to do something else I beg you to give me the desire..." and I found myself praying again after a very, very long time, not that I´ve ever stopped believing in God but I just couldn´t pray anymore. I´ve done it and I think the book has to do with it, I´ve also found myself thinking that if I give all my effort, it´ll be ok, even if I don´t come out as number one; and feeling like it´s ok to try because "I´m enough". I won´t lie and say that it´s been all optimism, I´m the same 24/7 pessimist that I´ve been for so long but there´s days in which it isn´t so heavy over my shoulders. I´m very grateful to that friend that allowed me to read the book and to Josh who wrote the book and even to God for making the author so very inspirational.
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