ok, read the tittle... it`s two in the morning. I´m awake when I should b resting peacefully recovering my body from all the work today but no, here I am fully awake without the feeling of falling asleep soon, I`m doing nothing just wasting my precious night here thinking about you. What a useless thing to do, since it´s so obvious you are not doing the same, u, smarter than me on this, are probably dreaming about whoever but me.
I´ve tried to kick out the feeling of sadness ´cause I cant believe you can do that much of a difference in my life and that a few words told by you can make me feel intense feelings, or just make me feel at all. It shouldnt be. The main thing that u have caused me lately is sadness, pain, shame and guilt. Yes, I should hate you for that, yet I dislike that u dont see me in the same way I see you and I dislike you the most for being you. You the first one to make me feel this way -or the first one I accept-, to make me become all crazy and irational the one that makes me be like hundreds of other girls all crazy, all stupid.
I´m thinking on you almost all the time, and you stupid, dont let me do anything, dont let me be. It´s like I no longer am able to focus on the things I used to focus, it´s like all the things that used to be enough for me, are no longer capable of satisfy me.
I wish I could found someone for me. For me only, someone who I could really be.
Should i tell you now that I cant sleep? _because of you, that is_
God just forgive me... for everything so far. Erase lightly, softly all this... I wont be able to resist without you..
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