Grain of Sand

Damn me!
I shouldn´t love you.
I laugh with irony,
there it is,
I´m already damned:
I love you.

Nevers and forevers don´t exist.
I wish I had been wrong on that.
But I believed your nevers and forevers
and here I am
crying over the castle I built on them.

I knew the whole time,
I knew it´d end this way,
but I wanted to believe
for once, for you
I hope you are laughing now
I have to smile even when that´s the last expression
that´d show what´s going on
what you failed to see
what you failed to feel

I´ll hate you
that´s how it´ll end
I know, I won´t doubt again
I´ll hate you so much,
with the same amount of my current love
and then, when you don´t mean a thing for me
I´ll stop
and you´ll be nothing, no one for me
just a shallow mist, a sudden rain, a dream that I forgot.

You´ll never know
you never see
and if you see, you don´t realize
you don´t care
your words must be empty
I must be nothing, no one for you
it hurts now
it´ll make my hate greater later
and then, it´ll mean nothing
it'll be a nightmare from which I woke up

But I love you now,
I care now, even if you don´t.
The castle was so beautiful.
I weep knowing that I´ll hate you
I lament the time when you won´t have a meaning
...a grain of sand in the beach...
You´re oblivious
Don´t worry, I learn that one too.