Preaching?

I feel a little -a lot- like a hypocrit... I was watching some videos. I clicked this one, the song was about God -the one I posted last time "open the eyes of my heart Lord, open the eyes of my heart, I want to see you...- I scrolled down to the comments and see this person who wrote something complaining about God and how he didn´t understand how God could do bad thing to ppl. This person said he´d been bullied his whole life in school and that he had to move and when he did that he contracted a desease that kills 60% of the ppl who contracts it, he survived but lost the ability to use his right leg and he´s in pain all the time, he said he´d be better dead.

For some reason I answered his comment, someone had said that maybe he lived so that he changed his attitude towards God, I thought that was kind of mean, I don't think God would do that but I answered, I answered even though I´ve said and thought those same things. I said that pain makes us angry but that God hadn´t given him that desease... as I wrote I thought I could understand that man... one day I was able to walk normally and the next I couldn´t use my right leg anymore and I´m in pain all the time. I am angry. Every Friday I sort of pray and tell God that I´ll go to church that Sunday but I don´t go... And I often cry and wonder why He´s let me live when I was supposed to die before being born and then when I was 7 in the ocean, it was beautiful what I saw but I´m still here and now I´m in pain and I believe but I said things that I don´t do that sometimes I don´t feel. Mother´s said that this all has a purpose and I tell her angrily that I want no purpose. She tells me that God doesn´t want to have me like this and that he didn´t give me this desease and I tell her how come if He´s allmighty He let it happen...

I told this guy that it was our choice to focus in what we do have and that I knew pain was too much sometimes but why to let it engulf everything else? I asked.... I try, I try a lot to see what I do have, the ppl that loves me, the blessings I do have, the fact that my other leg and hands are fine, I try to do what I can with what I have but sometimes it´s too much and I get angrier yet here I am telling that to this person. I feel like a hypocrit...

I wanted to say that I´d pray for this person. I didn´t. I don´t know if my praying will help, it´s even hard to pray for myself because it always makes me sad that pain doesn´t go away, that my leg is weak and that I have to use that horrible croutch ... But, God, he claimed to be atheist and I guess that´s fine but maybe we all need something bigger and powerful to believe in... with all my heart I pray for this person to find peace...