Fallen angel

Chapter 27 ***Conversation***
While being on the other room we didn’t really talk, we were just lying on the bed. Me looking at the ceiling and his eyes looking at me. His hand holding mine, at least I could felt that. He sang the song, now I knew what it meant. I only closed my eyes because now it made me remember of what I had to do.
“I don’t like to see you with that thing over your face” he said pointing at the oxygen tank. I smiled, I felt like smiling but I know I didn’t, because I couldn’t. “I`ll take you back so that you can take that off” he said already taking me in his arms. I kept my eyes closed. I fall asleep for a moment. His voice woke me up. He was calling me “Ei?, Ei?” I opened my eyes and he was leaned over me. He gave me a big hug. “where were you, dearest?” he put his forehead over mine. My heart raced a bit and I felt the impulse of moving away, of course it didn’t happen. Instead he was thrown away… by me. That was bad. My eyes were wide open, and so were his. He got up and got closer to my bed “should I leave?” he asked.
-no- I blinked twice.
“may I get close to you?”
–yes-
He got onto the bed and move me to my side. We were forehead to forehead now.
“I don’t know what happened, I`m so sorry, Ayon. Are you hurt?”
“I scared you, it`s my fault for not asking you first”
“no, Ayon, that was not it… it`s just that this thing I don’t know how to control it. It seems to work on its own”
“you can practice with me as much as you want”
“are you a masochistic now?” the tone of the voice in my thoughts teasingly. He`s laughter in my head as well as in my ears.
“Ei? Can you tell me if you have the feeling of being somewhere else when you are sleeping?”
“you mean just a moment ago? I just feel tired, close my eyes and sleep. I don’t see nothing and I don’t dream nothing, why?”
“well, whenever you were sleping I knew you were here, that your spirit was in your body, I could even see a blur of your dreams, not images but energy. Now when you sleep like that I cant sense your spirit anywhere, it`s like if you were…”
“dead?”
“gone” he said and I could sense on his thoughts that he was worried.
“is it always that way, now?”
“no, that`s why I want to know if you feel like going somewhere else… or maybe I`m no longer able to see your spirit because I`m no longer a light spirit but a dark one”
“you`re listening to me now”
“yeah, but only because you`ve chosen to let me hear your thoughts”
“so, before, when you were a complete angel you didn’t need people permission to barge into their thoughts?” I said a little angry since he kept saying bad things about himself
“no, but I could sense them all the time”
“a demon can do that too, right? Just stop saying silly things ok… maybe I`ve become mute in my spirit too, maybe this thing that I can control prevents you from feeling my spirit.” He felt silent for a while, so I opened my eyes. We were really close. His eyes were still closed, his mouth trembling. He wanted to cry. “tell me all about it” I said, closing my eyes again.
“about?”
“what happened to you after you chose me. I want to, no, I need to know” I heard words coming to his brain, a thought, an excuse for not telling me. It was like listening completely to what was inside his head. It was amazing “just tell me and stop thinking about excuses for not doing it. I have time to wait. You know I wont go anywhere” I pressed the subject of my sickness because I knew that would made him talk. It worked.
“I …” again I could listened into his unprocessed thoughts, he was trying to make things less hard first to tell them to me.
“say things as they were. Be honest with me, please” I pleaded. I`m not so sure why I wanted to know about his suffering, maybe it was selfish of me to make him re-lived all that or maybe deep inside I thought talking about it could help him or could help me to destroy him because I was going to see him not like a half demon, half angel but only as a demon.
He took a deep breath and then I didn’t listen to his voice but watched an image. It was my bedroom floor, then I could sense a hand caressing my face, a woman hand, pain in my back, a burning pain, then I listened to my own voice calling Ayon`s name. I realized it then, he was really re-living the memory of what happened to him for me, he was giving me his perspective of things but in a very literal way. I was seeing and feeling things through his eyes, through his body. So now, in the memory I was Ayon.
I saw myself crying. Motionless. I couldn’t get up of the floor and the pain kept on burning. Shiloe was laughing her evil laugh and all of them were getting close. I had to get up. I had to get up. I took the hand that was caressing my face and saw that she was holding a sword. A sword, that was the burning pain, I had been hit by Michael`s sword then this was no… this is hell. The hand that I was holding got gray and decayed. I saw her face now. It stared to distort. the mouth went bigger and the teeth were rotten, the eyes red-blood. I moved away and it became to its true form. A demon that laughed at me. Far away I saw four person. I knew now that I was in hell, so probably this was my own personal hell, it all was a vission. The pain that the sword caused was getting worst, like burning, I felt the running blood staining my back. When I got closer I saw the four person better, Eimi and three versions of Passio. Eimi was being killed. She screamed my name and I ran to her but the distance kept on growing. As soon as I was about to get to her, I lost her. Then I remembered where I was, so I stopped. The scene was played again, like a movie. It was emotionally painful to see that, but I knew Eimi couldn’t be here. If I had lost her, she had to be in heavens. “she`s not” Passio`s voice sounded everywhere “she`s here, with you, after all, if you are with demons, where do you think you belong?” is that possible I asked myself. She`s here and I made that? “you made that” Eimi! I screamed. It all became black. The pain, both phisically and emotionally, was unbearable, yet I resisted it. It was hell after all. The scenery changed. She was on top of a hill all wounded. I started to run to her. I was close but so were thousands of demons. I fired them with my energy. It was not enough, I did it over and over but they were too many. They got her, it was like watching hienas eating a deer. She screamed and I did my best to fight the demons but it was useless. I knew I had no power. She kept screaming. They were hurting her. They were hurting her because of me, it was my fault she was here. I`m surely are a demon I thought, and I`m one of the worst, I made an innocent to come to hell and now I`m too weak to help her. Now the pain was only half of my anger towards me. I hated myself now, the pain and the anger were nothing compare to my hate. I screamed and it happened. I pulled my hair and all my skin started to burn. Light, fire started to come out of me. “I hate you all!” I screamed and a light bubble went to the demons eating Eimi`s energy. Many of them got hurt. “I hate myselft the most!” a louder scream and another energy bubble bigger than the first not only destroyed my body but threw away everydemon close to Ei. I was no longer Ei`s Ayon. I was a demon.

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agh! how awful it`s been to post this one ¬¬ stupid slow computer. Just when I finally found a picture good enough for this chap, I realized the blog was closed ¬¬ I`ll keep on looking for images to this chapter, I`m not completely satisfied with the one I found... and like five mins later, I found one, the first one... though I`m not sure..