Fallen angel

Chapter 30 ***the way back***

I clearly felt when Ayon got close to the door. He knocked too, apparently Criss and him had some kind of understanding of doing that and then waiting a minute to come in. It was funny because they were so civil when I knew they disliked each other. Everyone could see that, I`ve heard the nurses talk about it. They really gave a good picture of how those two were when I wasn’t around. “like ice and fire, miss, Eimi, it`s scary to see them together” one had said.
“come here!” the machine sounded making my thoughts audible
“I like better your voice” he said taking my hand out of Criss` hand and kissing it and twice. Then he took the funny hat from my head and kissed my forehead. “I`ll ask for someone to take him out of here” he said to me in his thoughts.
“no, you take him to his bedroom” I said to him in our silent way of speaking.
“Eimi?!” his inner voice like that one of a child who doesn’t want to take the trash out
“come on, Ayon, other people will mistreat him … and wake him up”
“ah, yeah, I don’t want him to wake up” a malicious tone in that thought. I laugh. “I`ll be right back, Ei”

A minute is all you need to see your life pass before your eyes like a movie. Now that I couldn’t talk or move or do nothing really, the only thing I had was thinking. If I had been able I would`ve chuckled at my present state. How my life had changed, how many things I didn’t know. How many things I ignored. I had never thought I was going to love, I never thought I was going to be loved. I never thought I was going to met a real angel or a real demon. I never believed in paranormal things and now not only I knew all these but I had to, through a paranormal action, destroy the one I loved and the one that loved me had no chance to win my heart because it was going to be destroyed when I get the courage to send the one I love away. Emotions can`t be denied, they can be more powerful than those things you can see, they are just like wind, invisible but sometimes deadly.

Ayon came back, he put me on my side, my right side this time, then he got onto the bed.
“I missed you” he said
“me too” I passed my thoughts to him now. “I`m not going to ask you to keep on telling me the story… if you don’t want to talk about it”
“I`m sorry Eimi, I`m sorry that all of that was in my head, otherwise it wouldn’t have been my hell”
“I know it was painful for you. It was as if I were you, while you were sharing your memory with me. I know it hurt you to hurt me. That’s why I`m not making you talk anymore”
“but you want to know, don’t you?” I said nothing for a moment.
“I don’t want to hurt you by making you remember it”
“down there, I harmed you in every possible way. I used you as a tool and then to make you cooperate I took out that small piece of the angel in me that I had. It was a torture to have it, because it only caused more pain. Do you remember the atmosphere of hate that I described you was hell`s air? Well, it was my air, it was my blood, hate was there in every part of me. I didn’t know who I was anymore. And then, I overheard the Eimi in my hell talking to the group of demons I had just vanquished. She was no Eimi and I had been a fool thinking that you could be there. Shiloe had taken a form to look as if she were you. She`s a good actress, I guess, but she slipped, and that allowed me to come back because the next time the army came, I was resolute to return to earth, to seek for you, to see if you were safe or if you had gone to heavens. It was just like the time you saw, the same shield, but this time I put my energy into capture them to be mine, and so I did. I was already a demon, so I thought to use that power that I had gained to return to you -`a demon to save you, right!´ I heard as a background sound in his head- And then when I knew you were not there I took Shiloe`s energy, the army`s energy and came back and found you on Passio`s arms. I`m so very sorry that I could not catch her. And I`m so sorry that I`ve put you through this…”
“is that angel side really gone? Am I really talking to a demon now?”
“I don’t know. i don’t know Ei. I really want to be good for… I really want to be who I was but I don’t know. I`ve done bad things, I`ve lead good people to the wrong path, I`ve encouraged bad people to be unafraid of being bad, I`ve spread my hate everywhere. I`m a demon.”
“and yet you want to be good and yet you regret all that you`ve done, and yet you havent left my side all this time… the desire of being good has to count for something”
“I`m happy that it counts for you… Now it`s my turn, right? Tell me what Passio did to you, tell me if you are in any pain, tell me what did you see while you were in comma”
“I don’t remember anything” I lied “I don’t feel pain, only distress at not being able to do nothing and I didnt see nor feel nothing when I was in comma and I don’t remember waking up and I don’t remember much since the time we went to bed that night. Thought I remember a dream from that night. I dreamed that I had a guardian angel and it was weird because you were here and he was too. I was wondering, in the dream, if you knew each other” I chuckled. And felt he was hiding a thought from me. it had become easier for me to see his thoughts, even those he tried to conceal, I wondered if it was happening the same with him.
“why don’t you want to tell me what happened when Passio stayed with you?”
“I don’t want to think about it. I was so worry about you”
“let me carry that burden with you”
“you`ll be back, my angel, you`re still an angel”
“Eimi?” I felt silent, he didn’t insist. I drift into sleep while listening to his heart rhythm. I already missed him.