Double Life: Drawing Shades and Smiles

A/N: Thank you for this pix Saku! 

This is quite short but I think I like it this way

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“What made me like rainy nights was that I was free of the nightmare on those nights” she didn´t answer his question but offered some inside to her mind, he never rejected those. Her eyes seemed to be looking at some distant memory, and she was, she was seeing a younger version of herself not having to be the monster on rainy nights, she´d made herself believe that her father did that to protect her, for her safety, she huffed.

“It´s the opposite for me” the boy said letting her know it was ok to talk, it was his way to tell her she could trust him as he had done, this wasn´t lost on her.

“That was before… but it was how I came to like it, besides… water, and water from heaven seems to be cleansing..”

“I see…” he said but he didn´t, he just wanted to let her know he was listening

“Maybe… if good memories get done during your rainy nights, it will be easier for you?” she said in a soft voice and with warm eyes that made her look innocent and child-like, he half-smiled at her effort.

“Maybe” he said and saw her genuine smile, followed by her head lightly shaking from side to side

“Josh?” it had been a while since she´d gone back to drawing and he´d been lying on the grass again with eyes closed

“Mmmh?” he mumbled

“Do you think if you knew what happened back then… you might feel better?”

“Yeah, she´s always in my nightmares… I think it might help”

“Would you mind me looking for her?” she asked quietly, he opened his eyes again and found Nic´s eyes on her drawing pad. She didn’t look at him

“How would you do that?”

“I don´t know… I´d have to know more of your time at the hospital, though” she was still focused on the drawings; he didn´t answer so she looked up at him, his eyes seemed deeper, more like the forest.

“I´d like to find a way to make you feel better too” he said above a whisper. She closed her eyes as a smile found its way on her lips.

Josh sat up and reached up to her hair. Very lightly he put a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. He felt her tense, she opened her eyes and all trace of warmth there had been consumed by a cold stare.

“I´m sorry… I didn´t mean to…” his hand fell limp on his lap

“You didn´t..?” he thought to see a small flicker of disappointment in her eyes but it had been quickly burned by the ice-like gaze her eyes had “You need to leave now” She stood up with graceful calculated moves

“I’m sorry. I didn´t mean to upset you” he stood up as well, concern thick in his voice. She exhaled a tiny sigh

“It’s not that. Please, just go”

“Don´t be mad at me” the boy was about to take a step forward but stopped himself

“You need to go now –she took a step closer to him as he had attempted to do. He watched him close her eyes and heard her take a deep breath- I´m not mad at you, I promise” she opened her eyes and they had managed to show part of the warmth they had shown before

“Why…?” he started to ask wondering if her eyes were like her bright, beautiful yet fake smile. His thoughts stopped when her hand was lifted and it seemed like she was going to touch his cheek but instead it landed on his shoulder

“I… I´m not the only one who sneaks in and out of this school, but this is a safe place, don´t worry” she added when his eyes grew wide “but I need you to go”

“Is this place safe for you?”

“It´s just Nat and if it is I can take care of myself –she flashed him a genuine smile- but I don’t want her to think much of you… I don´t want you to stand out to her” she explained but he didn´t attempt to move “please, Josh, you need to go”

“Alright” he said with a sigh

“Thank you” her hand fell from his shoulder touching it´s way to his hand where she quickly squeezed once, he smiled and then he bent to pick up his things as she hopped in the thick stone wall, one of her legs dangling on a side

“It´s rude to stare at my legs like that” she quietly sing-sung with a smirk, he only shook his head.

“Dinner?” he said as he was leaving

“Go, Josh” she smiled a little as she closed her eyes again. This time when she opened them again, they were back to being ice. He waved once and swiftly walked away.